


The Outsider and the Thugs

by SolaceActor



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: A Choice with No Regrets, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Mentions of Rape, Prequel, Sequel Available, Spin-off chapter based, Swearing, The birth of Levi, Torture, Triggers, hints of romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 15:04:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 46,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2114430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolaceActor/pseuds/SolaceActor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prequel to 'We've Come A Long Way'. In 844, a woman who has lived on the outside all of her life is taken inside to join the Scouting Legion after Erwin discovers her existence. She struggles with 'civilised people' and shows huge talent in training. But not everyone thinks she's got what it takes. Join her, Levi, Isabel and Farlan as they fight their way through Titans, people and prejudices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Greyjoy and I

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! It's been a while since I've posted fanfiction anywhere at all, so this may be a little rusty, apologies for that... I'd like to warn you all again that this fic contains triggers of violence, swearing, torture and rape, so please, don't read this if it may affect you! I've labelled it as Mature for now, but if you think I should change it to Explicit, please don't hesitate to message me and I'll do so! The female character may be perceived as a Mary-Sue but personally, I don't see her that way. It's up to you though. This took me a few days to write since I did nothing BUT write for three days, ehehe. This story is basically a prologue to a bigger story that I'll be starting shortly which involves the 104th Squad! The relationship between Levi and the character in this story has potentially romantic undertones but it will progress as I work through the rest of the story I'll be writing. I hope you all like it!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the Outsider and her friend, Greyjoy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains violence and mentions of rape.

      Living on the outside is romanticised to the point where it’s just simply not true, I think. Running around in the forest, being one with nature, surviving day to day, it _sounds_ pretty fun, right? At least, to some people it does. Trust me. It’s not. Having lived on the outside my whole life, I think I would know. Sometimes, when I’m sneaking up on bandits or auctioneers, I hear stories of what it’s like inside the safety of the walls.   
      “Those lucky bastards. At least they get two square meals a day. It’s been two days since we had one.”   
      “Those damn military schmucks. Fattening themselves up and talking all big, ‘sacrificing our lives for humanity’. It’s a load of horse shit.”   
      “I swear, if I ever lay my hands on one of those citizens in Shiganshina, I’ll tear them apart and pick my teeth with their bones. It’s the only way I’ll get something to eat around here.” Some bandits had taken up cannibalism a while ago and never went back to rabbit or deer. They’d acquired a taste for human flesh.   
      “I heard that they keep animals as _pets_. Animals are _wild_.” That always made me smirk at Greyjoy. After we killed them, we’d head back to our cave. 

      I slid off Greyjoy and scratched his ears. He groaned with satisfaction and collapsed on the floor with a **flump**. Greyjoy is a grey wolf that, astonishingly, is twice the size of a horse (about ten feet or so). His fur is thick and soft, his feet darkening to almost black and his snout paling to a lighter grey bordering on white. Because of his size, it took us a while to find a suitable cave that could act as a lookout point and still fit his huge size. The sky rumbled and soon, rain began to pour. I shucked my grey pullover cloak and stood outside in the rain, washing my arms with a bar of soap I’d managed to swipe a few days ago from a camp of thieves. My brown hair was lank and greasy and I poured the fruit smelling soap that could be lathered into your hair over my head, scrunching my eyes up tight. The soap still got in and I hissed in pain, ignoring Greyjoy’s barking laughter. He’s also freakishly intelligent, by the way. I wasn’t entirely sure what he was, if I’m honest. I’d never met any other wolf his size, nor any animal that had swelled or shrunk to an odd size. I had chosen to believe that he was the last of his kind.   
      When I finished washing, I walked back under shelter and dried myself with a towel. Most of the things in the cave were things that I’d stolen from camps of bandits which, incidentally, were usually stolen from Scouts. A lot of the things were essentials; soap, toothbrush, spare boots, etc. But some of the objects were things to amuse myself or Greyjoy with. A guitar that was battered but playable was propped up in the corner and we had a stack of books next to it. Greyjoy liked listening to me play and read to him. I looked down at my boots. They’d been worn by a Scout at some point but I doubted they needed them anymore. They were scuffed, muddy and a few holes had formed in the sole, giving me wet feet. I tugged them off and threw them into the ‘rubbish’ corner. Every few days I’d gather everything that was in the corner and go dump it somewhere if I couldn’t find someone who needed stuff more than me. Rarely did I find someone kind enough though. Despite living in a cave, I liked to keep things ordered and clean, so I dusted out the interior a lot. Also, spiders? No fucking thanks.   
      I pulled on a new pair of boots. They were brown lace-up combat boots, reaching halfway up my shin. _Not bad_. I’d have to wash my clothes the next day as well, which wasn’t something I enjoyed. It made my arms ache, which was silly, since I trained vigorously every day. I don’t mean to brag but I am pretty strong. You have to be to survive outside. To pass the time, I sat down and picked at the guitar. I was sort of self-taught. My Dad taught me chords and then left me to it, letting me figure out the rest on my own. My parents used to sing a lot as they went about their day, singing songs that I’d never heard of, and I used to try and play some sort of backing to it. Sometimes, I’d get it completely wrong. Other times, I was ‘spot on’.   
      My parents and their ancestors came from a place with an odd accent, somewhere west but still in what used to be Europe. We weren’t common. It took our family generations to arrive for the sanctuary of Wall Maria, but they’d run out of room and we were turned away. Mum and Dad were raised outside the wall and so was I. Dad died when I was fourteen, saving me from a Titan and getting eaten himself, giving Mum and me enough time to escape. After that, Mum did what she could in teaching me how to survive. She was a pro at fighting which has saved my life more times than I can count, and it turned out I had a natural talent for it. A few years later, when I hit seventeen, we were kidnapped by bandits. Mum was raped in front of me and I in front of her. They killed her when they were done with me and then I killed them. I wasn’t sure what happened to me. _Don’t be afraid, Rhia…_ Mum’s last words were choked out in blood. When her eyes stopped moving and her body went limp, something changed. I don’t know how I escaped really, but the fact that I did is enough for me. Since then, bandits have been higher on my hit list than Titans.   
      That wasn't the only time I was hurt like that though. It happened again a few years later and again and again and again. Total? Nine times. I realise I sound relaxed about this. It was horrifying and traumatic, but I’m filled with rage more than misery. I have a mental list of all six bandits who did that to me. And I will make them suffer until their last breath.   
      I found Greyjoy when I was twenty, or rather, he found me. I was injured and running away from a particularly manic and murderous highwayman when he approached me. I had thought he was going to kill me and I was going to let him. But instead of eating me, he ate the highwayman and stayed with me as I bandaged up. When a poacher tried to pelt him, I rescued him in turn and we stuck together after that. He’d been with me for seven years since then and never left my side willingly. If he were human, he’d either be my brother or the love of my life. 

      Playing the guitar got boring quickly but the rain started to let up. To save myself from getting wet again, I held out by taking out my sketchbook. There were some sketches in it already when I found it at an abandoned log cabin a few years ago and I kept them. It made me feel a sort of connection to that person, whether they were dead or alive. I’d almost filled the book up with my own sketches, though they were only in pencil. Most of them were animals that had often gotten very close. At least six of the pages were filled with Greyjoy though. I loved to draw him. I definitely wasn’t as good as the previous owner of the sketchbook but I could draw enough to pass. I had nothing else to sketch so I drew my boots as they were on my feet and right in sight. The rain stopped when I had finished the shading and I rose to my feet.   
      “Hungry?” I asked. Greyjoy immediately got up, his ears perking up at the idea of food.   
      “I’ll take that as a yes.” I pulled my cloak on again, grabbing my spear and checking my knife was sheathed in its thigh holster. “Let’s hope we come across a deer, hm?” I pulled my mask out of my bag that was holstered on my left thigh. My mask was purple and covered my whole face. It had lenses on it that could be adjusted to enhance my vision a little and it had clockwork stuck onto it along with two small arms that wrapped behind my ears like spectacles would. After putting it on, I pulled my grey scarf up past my nose. Wearing both the mask and the scarf muffled my voice enough to make it sound lower than it really was and more masculine. It was safer to travel as a man than a woman.   
      We left the cave cautiously, as always. We’d been ambushed before so we were careful from then on. When the coast was clear, I hopped onto Greyjoy’s back and we bounded down the hill. The rain would have kept the animals inside their burrows or wherever they hid, but now that it was over, they’d come out and drink some of the fresh rainwater. When we came to the foot of the hill, we slowed down and he padded silently over wet logs and slick rocks. It wasn’t long before we came across a wild boar. Not ideal but it would have to do. Crouching on Greyjoy’s back and hiding myself behind his massive furry neck, I launched my spear at it. It hit its mark and the boar went down with a squeal.   
      “Not exactly what I’d hoped for…” I muttered as I slid off Greyjoy and approached the dead pig. The ground shook ever so slightly. I froze. _Wait for it…_ Nothing… The floor vibrated minutely again. _Grab the boar and go_. I ran quickly, snatching the pig up by its tusks and rushed back to Greyjoy. I fastened the pig around his neck with a drawstring rope and mounted him. The ground shook, this time it was very noticeable, and I heard it.   
      “Come on, Greyjoy, we’ll drop dinner off and then kill it.” I decided and he turned and hurried back to the cave. Only 3DMG could move faster than Greyjoy and, on occasion, abnormals. We returned to the cave quickly and I threw the boar into the darkness unceremoniously before we bolted down the hill again. _You should have put a blanket over it, just in case_. I should have, but I was eager for a workout. When we reached the part we had shot the boar down, there were no footsteps to alert me to where the Titan was. Disappointed, I sighed and drummed my fingers on my legs. Greyjoy’s hackles rose and I blinked. He can sense it. It was still nearby and it could probably see us. I looked around for any sign of it. _Wouldn’t you say that’s an oddly shaped tree trunk in that dark patch over there?_ Come to think of it, that trunk was very odd. Its roots almost looked like… a foot. Huh. The Titan crouched abruptly, its eyes staring at me and its lips were pulled into a grimace.   
      “Fuck.” I muttered and kicked Greyjoy’s sides, urging him to move. He dashed forwards just as the Titan’s hand swiped at where I was.   
      “Take me around the back.” I commanded and he circled round, the Titan’s eyes following us the whole time, even when we moved right behind it. I stood on Greyjoy’s back for a few seconds as he ran before jabbing my arm out, clutching a branch and swinging myself up into the tree. I hopped from branch to branch, tree to tree and Greyjoy leaped in front of the Titan to distract it. Its eyes left me for a moment but a moment was all I needed. I jumped into the air and swung my spear wide. The blade sliced through the skin and the Titan went down, smoke billowing out from its body, and I landed on a branch. The blood had spurted onto my clothes and, annoyingly, some of the droplets were on the lenses on my mask. It burned off of my clothes quickly but I had to wipe the blood off the lenses. I replaced my mask and Greyjoy padded into sight beneath the branch. I dropped onto him and we made our way back to the cave.   
      The pig was fine though it smelled a little and I skinned it as night began to fall. Once the skin was hanging out to dry, I pulled the makeshift canvas down over half of the entrance to the cave and started a fire. Now there was enough ventilation for the smoke to leave but the fire wouldn’t be visible from outside. The meal was enjoyable though we ran out quickly. My stomach still grumbled but I ignored it. Greyjoy needed the meat more than I did as I could survive on vegetation too. After dinner, I put the fire out and pushed the canvas back to allow the rest of the smoke to go quickly. An arrow shot past me with a **f** **wip** and hit the cave wall beside my head. I heard someone curse and I sprinted back into the cave before they could draw and try again.   
      “We’re out of here, Greyjoy.” I warned, grabbing my stuff again. “We’ve been tracked.” He was on his feet immediately and I climbed onto him, giving the guitar and the books one last look before telling Greyjoy to run as fast as he could. We burst out of the cave and a flurry of arrows fell upon us. Incredibly, they missed Greyjoy completely, which I was grateful for. One, however, lodged itself into my right thigh by my knife. I screamed but kept down, leaving the arrow where it was until we could find somewhere safe. In the darkness, Greyjoy did have the advantage though. _You could fight them_. I didn’t want to chance it. _You’ll survive. You can’t always run away when your home is threatened_. Greyjoy peered back at me as we ran. We were still being pursued and they were still shooting arrows and bolts.   
      “What do you think, boy?” I asked lowly. “Shall we try it?” He bared his teeth. “Alright then. We’ll circle around again.” We repeated the tactic we had used on the Titan, veering off suddenly to the left and circling behind them in the darkness. We led them to a particularly dense part of the forest and laid in wait. There were around fifteen of them and they huddled in the small grassy space with their torches flickering over the trees. I climbed silently up the tree and Greyjoy prowled over to the other side. We’d appear from opposite sides to confuse them and then decimate them. To frighten them, Greyjoy growled ominously, never letting on his position, and I threw stones and acorns at other trees and rocks. They were quivering in their huddle, frantically waving their torches around to find us. _Fools_. Indeed. Quietly, I flipped my mask up and pulled down my scarf, cupping my hands over my mouth and made an owl’s hoot, pushing my mask and scarf into place again and tugging my hood further over my head. _Three… Two… One…_    
      We both burst out of our hiding places at the same time. The bandits panicked and shouted, shooting arrows at us and missing us entirely. As Greyjoy made quick work of three bandits by tearing their throats out, I flung my knife into a man’s head and kicked another in the face. They stumbled but went to punch me. I blocked it with my elbow and stepped into them, driving my elbow into his solar plexus. As he staggered, I slit his throat with a swipe of my spear. I retrieved my knife as he fell to the ground and two of his friends came at me. I jumped into one of them, kicking off their chest to boot the other, sending him a few inches into the air with the strength of the kick. I flipped and dropped to the floor, sweeping the first man off his feet with my ankle and driving my spear into his heart. His friend was still trying to get up when I ran at him and sent my boot right into his cheek. He rolled and I ended his life with a cut to the jugular. One man left and he was trembling. _Pathetic_. Casually, I threw my knife at him. It lodged itself between his eyes and he went down. Greyjoy was licking his bloodied paw as I tugged my knife out of the man’s head, his snout red.   
      “God, I needed that.” I stretched and winced. "Ouch... Fuck." The arrow was still lodged in my leg. I sat on the floor and, with a lot of grunting, I pulled it out, bandaging my leg with things from the dead bandits' pockets.   
      “That's everything. Let’s go.” He walked over and we rode back to the cave, double checking for anyone who was hiding. Thankfully, it was clear and everything was still there and I sighed with relief. I didn’t want to lose all of the things I’d collected over the years. Feeling tired, I yawned and Greyjoy settled down, resting his head on his paws. I put my stuff away and set my spear aside but kept my knife with me, as always, just in case. His tail curled around me and I leaned back against his warm body and closed my eyes. The outside certainly wasn’t what most people expected it to be like. But it was home.

 


	2. Not Everything Goes As Planned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months after our prologue, Rhia experiences loss once again, disappointment and a new life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to add indents now (I press the spacebar six times but same thing) :D So, in my opinion, it looks neater now and I'm adding them to all of the chapters and will continue to do this for the next story!

      It was raining again. That was no good. This was the hardest it had rained so far, but it wouldn’t be the last. Thunder rumbled in the distance and Greyjoy’s ears pricked up at the sound. He shifted a little and I sighed, laying my head back on his fur. He, like me, gets fidgety during thunderstorms. We’d rather be out there and hunting than confined in our cave, but we’d heard bandits nearby. We’d have to stay put for the time being.   
      “What do you want to do tomorrow?” I asked him, looking at his head. His eyes flicked towards me and he heaved a sigh.   
      “Get the bandits? Sounds good to me.” I pulled my hood over my head and settled back into his thick fur. “Try and catch some sleep.” I muttered. “It’ll be a long day tomorrow.” 

      The rain had made the rocks slick and the logs slippery so I stayed on Greyjoy’s back. The water was still dripping from the trees as we moved east. There were somewhat fresh footprints in the mud that would lead us to the bandits that had been disturbingly close to our cave. If the storm had been closer, they may have crossed into the cave for shelter, and then we’d have had a fight on our hands. A twig snapped behind us and our heads snapped to look. Nothing moved. Greyjoy sniffed and his ear twitched. There was someone there. Maybe more than one. There was a scuffle and Greyjoy’s hackles rose.   
      “Run.” I said softly and we turned and ran away. We heard a collective shout and I cursed. At least seven men were on our tail now.   
      “Faster, Greyjoy!” I urged and he pushed forwards. I lowered myself behind his head so he could pick up more speed.   
      “FIRE!” A vague bellow burst out from behind us and arrows and bolts flew past us. One skimmed my shoulder but I ignored it. Another, however, struck Greyjoy in the flank. He whined and stumbled but kept going.   
      “Leave it!” I heard again. Why were they ditching now? We kept going until we left the forest. I slid off Greyjoy and he immediately collapsed.   
      “Shit…” I muttered, hurrying to his side. The wound was oozing red and black.   
      “Oh god, Greyjoy… It’s okay, it’s okay, I have to get this out of you, alright?” I grabbed the bolt and pulled gently. He howled loudly and I jerked back.  
      “Okay, I’m going to have to do this quickly, alright?” His breaths were coming out wheezily and I was freely crying now. My hand closed around the bolt again and I yanked it out, biting back another sob as Greyjoy writhed in agony. I inspected the bolt. It was tipped with a syrup that was all over Greyjoy’s wound. _Poison._    
      “Oh shit, Greyjoy, it’s poison… I’ve got to get you an antidote, okay? Stay here, I’ll be back as soon as I can!” I scrambled to my feet, sprinting to the nearest lake. There was a weed that grew there that had a natural antidote syrup. Hopefully, that could save Greyjoy’s life. It took me twenty minutes to find the lake and another ten to find the weed. The sun was high in the sky and already some of the forest was drying, even after the torrential rain from the night before. I burst into the clearing where Greyjoy lay after what felt like an age and I shrieked at the sight of people around him. They were the bandits from earlier. It seemed that I’d arrived just in time; they were about to take his pelt.   
      “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM!” I screeched. They stumbled when they saw me running towards them at full speed with my spear aimed at them.   
      “GET THE FUCKING PELT!” One of them shouted, running to meet me. I cut him down quickly and sped on. They all swore and one plunged a knife into Greyjoy’s side.   
      “NOOOOOOO!” I screamed and, having finally reached them, plunged the spear into the man’s neck. He gargled for a moment but then he was still. Dispatching the rest of the men was easy. A well-aimed kick sent one that wielded a knife into another, stabbing his friend in the heart. He was horrified at what he’d done and I slit his throat quickly with my curved blade, ducking under someone else’s knife and uppercutting them before slicing his stomach open. His entrails fell upon the floor and the final two men ran for their lives. I grabbed the bandits’ fallen knives and flung them at the cowards, hitting them both between the shoulderblades. I’d turned back to Greyjoy before their bodies had hit the ground.   
      “Oh god, Greyjoy, what have they done? Look at you…” He struggled to move his head to look at me and whined lowly. “I know it hurts, boy, I know. Please don’t leave me...” I pulled off my hood and wiped my eyes, frantically applying the antidote to the wound, even though it was too late. “It’s alright, you’re gonna be fine, okay? You’re gonna be fine. You’re gonna be…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. “Don’t leave me… I love you, please, don’t leave me…” I choked back sobs as I watched him die in front of me. “Greyjoy…” I wept, curling my hands in his fur into fists. The outside had taken everything from me. My Dad, my Mum, my innocence, my potential education and now my best friend. Vaguely, I could hear the sound of hooves getting closer. I reached over to Greyjoy’s face and I closed his eyes for him. After watching him for a little while longer, I unsheathed my knife. I pushed his lips back, exposing his gums, and I cut one of his canines out. It was sharp, of course, and I had his blood all over my hands but I got the whole tooth out. I’d have to cut the root off later, but until then, I’d have to keep it safe. I put it into my inside pocket of my grey pullover cloak just as three horses came riding in from the forest. I threw my arms over Greyjoy quickly. No-one was getting his pelt.   
      “Who are you?” A strong male voice asked me. Shaking a little, I turned my head to look at him. He had blonde hair, blue eyes and thick eyebrows. He was handsome and he held himself upright. He was a Scout from behind the walls.   
      “It’s none of your business.” I growled.   
      “Alright.” He was just letting it go? “What happened?” I wiped my tears away angrily before turning around completely.   
      “Bandits happened. They poisoned him and tried to take his pelt.” His eyes looked at the bodies that were littered around the area.   
      “And you took care of them.” He observed. “Did you use your spear?”   
      “And my knife. And their knives. But what matters is that the fuckers are dead.” I clenched my fists.   
      “You’re an able fighter then. How long have you lived out here?” He was so calm and he seemed completely at ease. He wasn’t afraid of me? A savage?   
      “All my life.” I responded.   
      “Captain, are you sure this is wise?” One of the other riders asked. The Captain ignored him.   
      “Your whole life? Are you alone?” I swallowed and stroked Greyjoy’s neck.   
      “I am now.” I mumbled.   
      “Come with us.” I blinked. “Join the Scouting Legion. We could use your help and your knowledge of the outside.” They want me in the Scouting Legion? “Will you join us?” Could I leave the outside and retreat inside the walls? To civilised people? I’m nothing but a savage to those people. Survival was the only way. I didn’t abide to any law or code. Sure, I had a moral compass, but I could make exceptions. I wasn’t bound to it. So what would people inside the walls think? The closer to the centre, to Wall Shina, I would go, the more likely they’d look down on me and judge me.   
      “I can’t.” I shook my head. “I’m from the outside. I’m not like you.” I stood up. “I’ll bury him when you’re gone so please, leave quickly.” I expected him to insist, maybe even to beat me and take me anyway. Scouts aren’t always the nicest people. But he watched me for a moment longer and inclined his head, turning his horse back and galloping back into the forest, his fellow riders following after him. I caught my breath and then got to work in burying him. 

      It’s been three months since Greyjoy’s murder and it was considerably harder to keep myself alive without him. His huge tooth hung on a string around my neck as a comfort and a last resort weapon. It was extremely painful to be stabbed by it, though I’d only witnessed people get bitten. Even when he was dead, he was protecting me. I’d never realised just how much I relied on him for food, warmth and protection. If it weren’t for him, I probably would have died a few years ago. I could no longer call myself a hunter or a survivor. I was now a scavenger. Meals that had been left behind by other animals were scraps to me but I had to eat them anyway. I was still mourning my friend which made me eat far less than I should have. Granted, my diet wasn’t the strongest, but I had a few staple foods that kept me strong enough to fight. But now, I had to raid bandit camps for their food. I despised thieves, so having to stoop to theft was pretty low for me.   
      I’d just skinned and eaten a small rabbit when the Titan found me. I was so caught up in my meal that I hadn’t even noticed it until it was almost too late. Its fist smashed against the rock that I had just been perched upon and I rolled to my feet, wiping my mouth of the last meal I’d probably have for a while. In my weakened state, it was unlikely that I’d survive if I tried to kill it. I growled and leaped off the rocks and ran down the hill as fast as I could. As long as I didn’t get myself cornered or having to run uphill, there was a possibility of escape. It followed me, albeit faster than I would have liked. It wasn’t quite an abnormal, though it being a deviant could be the reason for the speed. Its feet were getting closer and I veered off to the right abruptly, hoping to throw it off my track. It moved incredibly fast and kept on my trail. I cursed and suddenly I broke out of the forest.   
      I was in another clearing, Wall Maria just in sight, and the Titan emerged from the trees with what felt like a triumphant grin, its teeth bared and its cheeks pulled right up to its eyes. It was terrifying. I didn’t stand a chance out in the open. I was going to die. I closed my eyes and breathed deeply. If I was going to die, I would die fighting. So I opened my eyes and charged towards it, shrieking and raising my spear in defiance. It watched me approach and it struck its hand down to grab me. I surprised myself with my reflexes and I jumped on top of its hand, running up its arm as it raised its hand. Its other hand came sailing in, threatening to swat me like a fly, and I bounded over it, coming up to its shoulder. _You can do it._ I shouted and held my spear aloft and plunged it down. The blade didn’t even get to pierce skin as it spasmed and grabbed me. _Definitely an abnormal_. I was held in its fist and it raised me to its mouth. I could see blood on its teeth as it opened its jaw. I wasn’t its only meal of the day. I had dropped my spear when it had shaken me and I mournfully looked at where it had dropped on the ground. My knife was in its sheath on my thigh but I couldn’t get it whilst inside the giant’s grip. I got closer and closer to its mouth and I closed my eyes. _Goodbye, Greyjoy_.   
      Horses were approaching and I heard the sound of wires. 3DMG. Three riders were approaching and I recognised one of the riders. It was the blonde man from three months before. I reached out to him before I was dropped into its mouth. I slipped down its tongue and it was impossible to get a hold of anything, to pull myself up. I pulled out my knife and stabbed it into the Titan’s tongue, trying to hoist myself back to its lips. It sounded like it was screaming and I heard the sound of wires, but this time closer. The light coming from the mouth suddenly darkened as a shadow appeared, holding the mouth open. The shadow held their hand out to me. I grabbed hold of it as best as I could with my slimy and sweaty hands, tugging the knife out of the tongue. With unbelievable strength, I was pulled up to the teeth and was bathed in sunlight.   
      “NOW!” The person who saved me barked. Another snap of the wires being deployed and I heard a slash. The Titan jerked forwards, its mouth completely agape and my saviour and I jumped from its lips. The mysterious saviour who I had yet to look at properly deployed the 3DMG and caught me in midair. We went down to land and crashed quite gracelessly. I was thrown from the person’s arms and we tumbled and rolled across the grass. Now winded, I gasped for breath and peered at the fallen Titan. It was already steaming and dissolving.   
      “Are you alright?” I looked at the person who had pulled me out of death’s mouth itself. It was the Captain. Shakily, I nodded.   
      “I’ve never come that close to being eaten before… Not since I was younger...” I muttered, straightening up so I was kneeling down.   
      “I’m glad we found you in time. I had a feeling you’d get in trouble.” I frowned and snorted at him.   
      “Oh really? And how did you know?” He had caught his breath now and he stood up.   
      “You’d just lost someone you loved.” I appreciated that he didn’t call Greyjoy a ‘thing’. “You were alone. Your grief would obstruct your survival.” Of course, he was right. I hadn’t thought about it logically when Greyjoy had passed. I sighed and tightened my ponytail.   
      “Thanks. For saving me. I’ve never seen someone do that for someone else, least of all a stranger.” I never was very good at saying thank you. I suppose it’s because not many people are kind to strangers. He nodded.   
      “Still set on living out here?” I frowned again.   
      “What do you mean?”   
      “I still think you should join the Scouting Legion.” He suggested. “You’re not doing well out here without your friend. You’re thinner than when we saw you last and you weigh practically nothing. We can help you, make you healthy, train you with the 3DMG. I don’t even know how you’ve killed Titans in the past, if you have.” I sniffed and shrugged.   
      “Once you get the hang of it, trees are easy to climb. Having a spear and a sharp knife comes in handy to help you climb as well.” I crossed my arms defensively. “And I have killed Titans, thank you. My spear can cut just as deep as those swords that you in the military have.”   
      “But how would you kill them? Did you climb their bodies?” I shook my head.   
      “No, I climbed the trees. Once you’re high up, there’s loads of branches that help for moving around and acrobatics. When they swing at you, it’s easy to dodge in the branches and then you run up their arm and just… Yeah.” The Captain looked down at me with what seemed like wonder.   
      “You are very different from anyone I’ve met. Well, actually, you’re similar to someone I met recently. If you come with me, you can meet them. They might be joining the regiment soon.”   
      “That’s a weak incentive and you know it.” I snorted. He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck.   
      “Yeah, I know. The offer still stands, however. You have remarkable skills that are invaluable to people like me. If you’ll let us teach you how to be a Scout, you could be one of the best Titan killers out there.” He held a hand out to me. I looked at it.   
      “I don’t have a personal vendetta against Titans. It’s bandits that I have a grudge against.” It sounded worse than I wanted but he didn’t even blink.   
      “Scouts don’t just kill Titans and explore the wilderness. We kill bandits who pose a threat too. They can be dangerous to those inside the walls.” I can kill bandits? Mentally, I flicked through the list of bandits that I had to kill no matter what.   
      “If we meet any group of bandits at any point that are familiar to me, I want to be able to kill them. I’ve got history with a lot of these guys.” I negotiated. His blue eyed gaze never left my hazel eyed gaze.   
      “That sounds reasonable. You have my express permission to execute bandits whom you deem deserve a death from your hands.” Wow, legal talk. “We’ll take you back to our HQ in Wall Shina.” His hand was still outstretched and it took me a moment to realise that he still wanted to me to take it, as a sign of trust probably. I grabbed it and he pulled me to my feet effortlessly. I really had lost a lot of weight in three months. My grey cloak and brown combat trousers were practically hanging off me. My old shirt wasn’t too badly stained and my cravat needed a wash. My black strap top that I wore beneath the shirt was dirty and ripped and my combat boots had seen better days. What I needed was to clean up and eat something. One of the other riders retrieved my fallen spear and gave it to me whilst the Captain led me over to his horse. He helped me up and then got on and sat in front of me.   
      “What’s your name? You never said.” He asked, readying the reins.   
      “Rhia.” I said. “What’s yours?”   
      “Erwin. It’s nice to meet you properly, Rhia.” I felt a smile tug at my lips.   
      “It’s nice to put a name to a face, Erwin.” And we set off back for the wall. We encountered a few Titans but we simply outran them. We entered through the Shiganshina District and headed up. I wasn’t accustomed to being stared at by so many people so I pulled my scarf up over my nose and mouth. Putting my mask on would make me seem threatening. Many of the people here were wearing clothes that seemed quite poor, but they all cheered for Erwin. Apparently he was popular with them. Off to the side, I noticed three children who were standing on boxes to try and see over the crowds that had accumulated on the road, though the crowd had left a clear path through them for the horses.   
      One of the children had blonde hair that hung down past his ears. Though he seemed withdrawn and timid, he was smiling as he looked at me. _What could he be thinking about?_ Next to him was a girl with a red scarf around her neck. She had pretty long black hair and she looked to be oriental. She and I were evidence that there were different races of people with different styles of speech and dialect. Beside her, on the highest box, was a little boy with short and messy brown hair. He had strange eyes that seemed blue one moment and green the next. He was watching with such awe that I waved very subtly at him. He almost exploded with delight and he quickly told his friends. I could just about hear them over the cheers.   
      “Did you see that, guys!? She waved at me!”   
      “Is she from the outside!?” The blonde one asked, trying to look at me again. I think the girl said something because the boys looked at her, but her scarf muffled her speech. She was very nonchalant compared to her friends and she had a deadness in her eyes that I recognised. She’d experienced some fucked up things, like I had. She was watching me with her dark eyes. I waved very minutely at her as well and while the boys were chatting excitedly, she waved back. Later, I realised that we even looked similar with our scarves over our faces to protect ourselves. We moved on, up through the countryside within the walls (which was surprisingly similar to how it was outside the walls) and we continued through the Trost district and then up into Wall Shina. It had taken us a few days and we’d stopped off at different inns along the way. The closer we got to the centre of the walls, the more unpleasant and hostile people became, not just to me, but to Erwin too. Whilst the poorer districts had a love for the Scouts and viewed them as idols and heroes, the richer districts seemed angry at them. Take this conversation, for example, from the last inn that we slept at before entering Wall Shina:

      “Hey! You! You’re from the Scouts, right?” A drunk man bellowed from across the inn. The usual chatter died down instantly. I was sat between Erwin and another man, who I learned was called Mike, and the third man sat opposite Mike and I. He didn’t appear to like me very much, but Mike was kind. He had a thing about smelling people though. Erwin looked up from his tea and watched the drunkard stagger over to our table. I was overwhelmed by the stench of alcohol on him and I began to feel bad for Mike. His incredible sense of smell wasn’t helping him out here; he was turning quite green from the reeking man.   
      “Do you know how much we pay for you and your team to fatten up and try and reclaim land on the outside?” He spat. “Do you!? My taxes go towards you and that stupid legion of yours so you can go and die out there for no goddamn reason!” There were a few murmurs of agreement. Strange how the richest are more conscious of where their money goes.   
      “Sir, please, we’re resting up from an expedition.” Erwin said kindly. “I’ll be happy to answer your questions in the morning when we’re not so tired.”   
      “And you’re not so drunk.” I muttered but thankfully, the drunk didn’t hear me. Mike did, however, and he gave me a disapproving look. I shrugged sheepishly.   
      “Have you made any progress since we started paying you money!? Huh!? Have you helped humanity even a little bit!?” He continued.   
      “Sir, I’ve asked you once, please. Go back to your table.” The innkeeper came over and apologised to Erwin before supporting the wretch back to his table. This was how we were treated for the majority of our ride to Wall Shina.   
      “If this how they treat you, people who go outside to regain more land for the human race and sacrifice their lives for humanity, then what are they going to do to me?” I asked when the man was safely away. “I killed Titans but not for anyone else. I’ve killed too many bandits to count simply because I detest them. I rode a giant wolf for god’s sake. Is humanity ready for people like me?” Erwin’s eyebrows tilted with concern. Damn, they were big eyebrows.   
      “Be yourself, Rhia. Everything will be fine. People are curious about outside the walls, they’ll want to know your story and what it’s like to survive out there without other people.” It comforted me a little. But unfortunately, he was wrong.

      When we arrived at the HQ, people stared and whispered at me. I heard things like ‘outsider’ and ‘wild woman’ and I flinched away from them. Who knew that people could be so cruel to someone they know nothing about? Erwin had gathered everyone in the courtyard to greet me and I stood a few feet behind him, my head down, hood up and my scarf over my face. As much as I wanted to wear my mask, I kept it in my bag.   
      “Scouts!” They saluted him, their left arms crossed behind their backs and their right arms over their front, their fists landing over their hearts.   
      “SIR!” They all shouted.   
      “After a small expedition, we made a groundbreaking discovery! It is possible for people to live outside of the walls!” Some of them looked interested. “Behind me stands proof of that. This woman has lived outside the walls for all of her life, surviving against Titans and bandits, and has extraordinary stories to tell.” He turned back to me and beckoned. Hesitantly, I stepped forwards and stood beside him. He inclined his head and, sighing, I pulled my scarf down and my hood off. I felt vulnerable showing my face but apparently, this was to show that I trusted them and was one to be trusted in turn.   
      “This is Rhia. She has remarkable skills with a spear, a knife and acrobatics. She’ll be joining the Scouting Legion today so that we can use her skills and knowledge of the outside to make more incredible discoveries about the outside. Welcome her like one of your own.” He saluted. “For humanity!”   
      “FOR HUMANITY!” They roared back with their salutes.   
      “Dismissed.” Erwin called out and put a hand on my shoulder, leaning in close. “Make some friends. They’re invaluable.” Easier said than done. I nodded anyway and he marched off, Mike and his friend in tow. Mike nodded at me politely as he left. I was left on the stage with no idea what to do. Brilliant. I walked down the steps and decided it couldn’t hurt to make the effort to mingle. The crowd had dispersed into smaller groups and I wandered through them, making awkward eye contact with some people. I really wanted to get clean, like, really badly. My heartbeat was throbbing throughout my head as I tapped a girl on the shoulder. She turned with a badly disguised sneer.   
      “What?” She asked, crossing her arms. Ohhhh, shit.   
      “Um, I… I… Can you help me find the-the shower room?” She sighed and rolled her eyes.   
      “Can’t you ask anyone else, outsider?” Have I already made a bad impression? Was it the scarf in the beginning? Did it show how much I didn’t want to be here?   
      “I-I don’t know anyone else.” People began to stare.   
      “You don’t know me, for god’s sake. Ugh, just go through that door and go down the left. There’ll be uniform in there too.” I nodded.   
      “Thank you-”   
      “You talk really weird, you know that, right? What kind of an accent is that?” I blinked. I’m not the only who has this accent, right?   
      “Uh… It’s British…? I thought it was common…” I’d met some bandits who had the same accent as I did, I thought it wasn’t all that uncommon.   
      “Oh, you think you’re smart and funny now, huh?” The girl jeered, her hands on her hips. People had begun to gather around and they were laughing at me.   
      “N-no, I just-”   
      “You were raised outside the wall, outsider. You don’t even know what it’s like to be civilised, do you? There’s no law and order out there, is there? You’re a savage and you think you’re smarter than me?” She laughed at me. “You’re pretty pathetic. I was expecting more.” My fists clenched and I gritted my teeth. It was tempting to punch her, oh, it was so tempting… _Make some friends. They’re invaluable_. Fuck. Goddammit, Erwin.   
      “Maybe you could teach me to be more like you then?” I really didn’t want to be this girl’s friend, and it seemed she had the same idea.   
      “Piss off.” She said simply and turned her back on me. Her friends laughed at me and I sighed.   
      “That was funny, Winnie.” One of her friends complimented, scowling at me. Right. So that wasn’t successful. Still, Winnie had told me where the bathroom was, though I hope she wasn’t lying. I stalked off and ignored the increased laughter. Thankfully, Winnie had been telling the truth and there was uniform and showers. I cleaned up as quickly as I could before getting changed. It took me a few minutes to get the hang of the straps though. The buckles were so damn fiddly. I finally got them on and when I was completely changed, I bundled my clothes up and took them out with me. After asking around and getting a few more laughs, I made my way to the girls’ bedroom. There were bunk beds and they were close together. I sighed and chose the top bunk of an unoccupied bed that was right near the door. I put my clothes onto the shelf that was attached to the wall next to my bed and sat to think.

      Life here was going to be difficult. No-one seemed to like me and, just as I’d suspected, I was a savage to them. Some of the people with slightly poorer attire underneath their standard uniform had pitied me but they didn’t make an effort to speak to me so I ignored them. Sure, I didn’t have any friends here. They’d probably all hate me until I managed to prove myself. Even then, they might continue to hate me. The only thing that this place really had going for it was beds and food. It had been years since I’d had a bed and I put my face in my hands so I wouldn’t cry. If I could just make some friends this would be great. I held Greyjoy’s tooth tightly as I tried not to cry. _I’ll try to live like this for you, Greyjoy. You’d never forgive me if I passed this up._  
      It wasn’t long before girls started filing in. I sat very still, just in case I’d accidentally taken another girl’s bunk but no-one accused me of it. No-one even looked at me as they walked in. I’d chosen a safe place, it seemed. I let out the breath I’d been holding and relaxed, leaning against the stone wall. The girls chatted amongst themselves and I pulled my thigh holster bag over to me, taking out my small sketchbook and pencil. I flicked to my unfinished drawing of a sparrow that had landed next to me one day and decided I finish it from memory. It wasn’t as good as it could be, but it was alright. I continued to flick through the sketchbook, skipping over the drawings of spiders that I’d done. The Goliath Birdeater appeared out of nowhere and I turned at least three pages in my haste to not look at it. Fucking spiders, man. I noticed there was a cobweb in the corner near my bed but there were no spiders around. I’d clean that later. Strange, I was looking forward to doing some cleaning actually. I’d never cleaned things properly since I’d lived in the cabin with Mum and Dad. Sure, I tidied things up in the cave, but I didn’t mop up and things like that. So, cleaning? New experience. One of the senior scouts checked in and claimed that it was lights off time. Lanterns were turned down and out and everyone settled into bed. I didn’t have any pyjamas unlike the other girls so I shrugged my jacket off and stripped the buckles from the torso down so they just hung by my waist. I settled back against the bed. It was hard and unyielding but it was better than nothing. Though Greyjoy was a little more comfortable than this. Still. Beggars can’t be choosers. 

 


	3. You Can't Prove Yourself To Everyone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rhia has her first official training day as a Scout.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains torture and very brief mentions of rape.

      I was used to waking up early, so when the girls were told to get up, I was already awake and sketching. I jumped off the bed and pulled the straps back on and then tugged my jacket on over it. My neck felt bare and I didn’t like it. If I wore my scarf, I’d be closing myself off again. So I grabbed my cravat instead and fastened it under my collar. At least I could wear something familiar. Greyjoy’s tooth was tucked under my clothes and nestled beneath my halter-bra. A creation of my own, thank you, it’s similar to a sports bra with how the fabric covers the entirety of your breasts (or almost the entirety, I ran out of fabric), but it fastens around the neck and the strap that usually would go around your back slips down to the base of your back. It makes it easier for me to move and it gets less sweaty too. Plus it looks badass, but that’s only part of the point.   
      I avoided Winnie as much as I could and lingered at the back so I could follow the girls down to breakfast. The girls called it the cafeteria so I logged that away. Everything was so alien to me. Communal meal areas? It seemed odd. I got my breakfast, which was toast, and headed for an empty table. Today was supposed to be training apparently. I heard some people talking about the timetable for today as I ate my toast and drank the tea.   
      “So what have we got first? I’m dying to try out the 3DMG again, I’m so close to nailing it!” One of the girls on the table said.   
      “No, first we have climbing.” Fucking yes! “Then we have a general workout, that’ll take up most of the day. Late afternoon into evening, we have a hand to hand combat session-”   
      “Is that with the Commander, the scary guy, Keith Shadis? Fuck, man, I hate that guy.”   
      “Yeah, he doesn’t like anyone really. Anyway, hand to hand, then we can go and relax. We’ve got a few new recruits today and that woman from the outside who need to get to grips with everything.”   
      “The outsider? How old is she?”   
      “Pfft, why you asking me? Probably same as us, in her twenties. She’s in our squad.”   
      “I heard she lived outside all her life. I wonder if she can read and write.”   
      “I heard that she doesn’t know how to speak and just groans and grunts at people.”   
      “That’s bullshit, I heard her talk yesterday. She’s got a weird voice, she said it was British or something. She’s alright but I don’t really want to tangle with Winnie and her lot. The guys have got their eye on her too.”   
      “What, Jayden and those guys?” Who was Jayden? I peered around the room, hoping I could glimpse someone who could be him. Looking around the room, my eye caught on this one guy who staring at me. He was huge and he had hair that stuck up all over the place. He winked at me and licked his lips. What the fuck?   
      “Yeah, Jayden likes to break the new horses in.” Okay, no, this is seriously fucked up…   
      “That’s disgusting. Did you have to use that analogy?”   
      “Shut up and eat your damn eggs. I just hope the chick watches her back. Winnie loathes her already and Jayden’ll probably make a move soon.”   
      “Are you gonna back her up if something happens? You gonna be the hero, Harry?” I looked over at Harry. He didn’t know that I was there. He seemed nice but he was cautious. He was skinnier than Jayden but his shoulders were big, that’s for sure. He had black hair that was really messy, sort of like that kid’s hair from the other day in Shiganshina.   
      “Who knows? I wanna see if she can handle herself first. She’s gonna need to be able to in here.” He looked like he was about to glance at me so I looked down at my toast again. Looks like I’d have to protect myself pretty soon. I ate the rest of my breakfast quickly and got up as people started filing out. I decided that I’d stick close to Harry and his group, just in case. They didn’t seem hostile to me so they were my best bet if I needed directions. I followed them to our climbing training. It didn’t seem that grand. There were buildings that were simply huge pieces of flat wood and there were trees, much like those in the forest, that were planted not too far away. The trees had no leaves on them whatsoever, excluding two at the end, so that we could see what the climber was doing as they climbed. The wooden buildings were flat, other than the doors, window sills and the roofs that jutted out over the building. Some of the flat buildings had balconies or a hanging flower pot or even a shop sign that was attached to the walls. I tilted my head at them. We’d have to climb these? Why? We all accumulated in a huddle, though I stood off to the side a little, and the instructor strode over. He had dark skin and thin hair on his head. Harry’s group were right; he was scary (and I found out later that he was actually our Commander, making him all the more intimidating).   
      “ALRIGHT SCOUTS!” He bellowed.   
      “SIR!” Everyone saluted, though I was a little slow on the uptake. He eyed me but didn’t say anything. Subtly, I checked to make sure my salute was right. It was identical to everyone else’s, thank god.   
      “You’re here to do some climbing!” There was a small murmur amongst the other Scouts, but it died down quickly. “Your goal is to climb up these buildings and these trees as fast as you can! If you fall, you die.” Seriously!? “You won’t die from the heights, you’ll die from a Titan! It’ll snatch you up and eat you as soon as you make the wrong move!” Oh, right. He stood in front of the cluster and pointed his arm out.   
      “People on my right, you’re climbing trees! People on my left, you’re climbing buildings!” I was on his left. One Scout tentatively raised her hand. He walked over and stared down at her.   
      “Question?” He grated.   
      “Uh… Um, yeah… Why are we climbing buildings? The Titans can’t get in… right?” He glared at her for a moment more.   
      “It is a Scout’s duty to be ready for anything! If I want you to climb buildings, you’ll climb buildings! Am I clear!?”   
      “SIR!” We all shouted, saluting.   
      “There are settlements outside of the wall and old castles that we utilise during expeditions. Almost all of them are abandoned and you must know how to climb without the aid of your 3DMG! NOW GO!” The tree climbers wandered over to the trees and another instructor appeared to help them out. That meant we were stuck with Keith. Whee.   
      “SCOUTS!” He yelled. “GATHER AROUND THIS BUILDING.” We obeyed quickly and stood in a line opposite the flat building. This one was a simple building with only a door and four windows, the roof overhanging like all the others.   
      “There will be no use of 3DMG!” The rest of the group groaned and complained. Did they expect that we’d get to use it? It’d be too easy, right?   
      “Quit your complaining!” Everyone shut up. “You and you.” He gestured to two people and they stepped forwards. “You need to be quick, nimble and safe. Climb the building.” The two reluctant volunteers looked at each other before trying to climb the building. One of them failed almost immediately, the other tried to grab the next sill without jumping for it and fell to the floor, winded and gasping.   
      “Pathetic. You and you.” And this is how it went. Only three people managed to get up to the top but they weren’t so happy about getting back down again. I was the last one and for some reason, Keith didn’t pair me with anyone.   
      “You. Step forward.” I swallowed and did so. “What’s your name?”   
      “Rhia, sir.”   
      “Rhia? You’re the outsider, huh?”   
      “Yes, sir, I am.” He seemed curious but his glare was still consistent.   
      “Then you should be good at climbing. Correct?”   
      “I should hope so, sir.” His eyes narrowed and I regretted it. I heard some of the others giggling at my expense. Keith silenced them with a glare before returning to me.   
      “Have you ever climbed a building before?”   
      “No, sir.” I tended to steer clear of settlements; bandits liked to hole up in there to get shelter during the night and ambush squads.   
      “Climb this one. Show us what you can do.” Ah, brilliant. I nodded and walked in front of the group to the centre of the building. The door was right in front of me and I breathed deeply.   
      “CLIMB!” The instructor roared and I sprinted towards the door. At the last moment, I kicked up and ran up it, leaping for the window on the left. I caught it easily and I tucked my legs beneath me before jumping for the roof. I gripped it and pulled myself up with so much ease it astounded even me. I looked back down at the group. Many of them were shocked, some looked like they wanted to clap, and others sneered enviously. Hm.   
      “That was the smoothest climb I’ve seen anyone do on here.” Keith complimented in his shouty way. “But can you get down? GO!” I crouched and held the roof, swung down and dropped, momentarily catching myself on the windowsill to break my fall and then skidded down the wall, hopping off when I was at the height of the door. Even Keith was surprised.   
      “It seems that you have a natural talent for climbing, Scout.” I forget I’m a Scout now. “NEXT BUILDING!” We moved onto the next one. This one had a sign high above the door, higher than the windowsill.   
      “I want every single one of you to use that sign in some way to climb the building. You and you again! GO!” He repeated the order of who went. Apparently his memory was pretty damn good. A few more made it up this time with the added use of the sign but people were slow at it, unbearably so. It irked me slightly that the instructor wasn’t necessarily teaching us; he was throwing obstacles our way and seeing if we could overcome them. Most people started off as cadets though, I think, so maybe they were taught all of these things then? It came to me again and I did more or less the same thing. I ran up the door, jumped to grab the sign (this time it was a bit more of a struggle) and then leaped up to grab the roof again, pulling myself up easily. I was the fastest and the smoothest at climbing buildings it seemed. It made me happy for a moment until I saw the jealous looks some of the Scouts. Maybe proving myself won’t please everyone? Most of the people looking at me had a begrudging respect, which was what I really wanted. Getting down was, again, more difficult, but I landed it pretty well.   
      “NEXT BUILDING!” And on and on it went. We were on the final building that was four storeys tall and had no balconies, no flowerpots, no signs, nothing. The roof, however, jutted out further than before and the windowsills were smaller than before. This would be a challenge. Once again, people failed over and over again. One person made it to the top, but they were very slow and very cautious. I think her name was Dana. She was the only person, besides me, who had consistently gotten to the top. When she reached the top, she looked down at me and, very subtly, I saw she stuck her thumb at me. I smiled faintly and returned it to her. She got down, very slowly again, and made eye contact with me as she walked back to her friends who were commending her. She seemed nice.   
      “Finally. Rhia.” I stepped forwards again. “You’ve beaten everyone else here, besides Dana, in climbing all of these buildings. You, however, possess speed and agility that Dana does not. Let’s see if you can maneuver this building as masterfully as you have done so before. GO!” He sure knows how to compliment a person yet still make it sound insulting. It was a big double door this time, so I used the handle that jutted out of the door this time to boost me up to the top of the door. I wasted no time in running up the wall and making a hasty grab for the windowsill. It was smaller than it looked and I nearly fell but I tucked my feet beneath me and leaped up for the next window. For a change in scenery, and to be unpredictable to a Titan, I jumped to the next window along and then I leaped up and to the right to make more progress. The roof was impossibly far out and for the first time, I had some real doubts that I’d be able to reach it. Then I noticed a small ledge underneath the roof. It had been carved into the stone as a design but it was enough. I jumped and reached up for it, now only keeping myself up by the tips of my fingers on this tiny ledge that barely qualified as a damn ledge. But I could reach the edge of the roof now. I swung a little, not so much as to dislodge my fingers, and let go, jumping backwards to grab the roof. I made a strong grip on it, thankfully, and I pulled myself up. Unlike me, Dana had turned around on the tiny windowsill and made a jump for it, costing her precious time. But she was small enough to fit inside the window. She was smaller than me, unbelievably, so I couldn’t have done that. I looked down at my fellow Scouts, somewhat triumphantly. The instructor was visibly surprised and I saw Dana smile up at me. I couldn’t stop the relieved grin and I looked up at the sky. It felt good to be high up.   
      “You’ve managed to conquer all five buildings in record time and with such precision that there’d be no chance of a Titan grabbing you as you climbed.” He shouted up to me. “If your 3DMG runs out of gas and you’re stuck on the ground, I have every confidence that you’ll be back on the rooftops safely in no time. Now come down. We’re moving onto the trees now.” Getting down was surprisingly easy. From the roof’s edge, I could swing myself down to the third window up and do the same as I had been doing; skidding down the wall and jumping off at door height. These doors were taller and bigger, so I jumped at the same height, but when I landed, I pushed forward into a roll to take the pressure of my ankles and knees.   
      “Impressive.” Dana said, coming forward to greet me. Her friends looked at me warily from a few feet behind her.   
      “Thanks, you were too.” I returned the compliment. “Your size makes climbing a lot easier, you know? You can fit into the small places in the windows.” She blushed sheepishly.   
      “Well, you’re not that much bigger than me, I could help you at some point if you want?” I smiled. At last. A friend.   
      “Sure, I’d like that. In return, I can help you speed up?” I offered. She lit up immediately.   
      “Oh, would you? That’d really help me out! I’ll be Titan fodder if I don’t speed up!” We started walking to the trees.   
      “You’ve got really good instincts for climbing, Dana, you’ll pick it up in no time. If things get dire when we’re climbing anyway, we can always bust through the window and escape the other side.” I suggested. She looked at me with wide eyes.   
      “Oh, I never thought of that… That’d really confuse them, huh? You’d just have to be careful about Titans on the other side though.”   
      “SCOUTS!” Keith ended our conversation abruptly.   
      “SIR!” We saluted.   
      “SWITCH!” And we did. Winnie glared at me as she passed. She’d been gossipping with some of the girls from my group and apparently, she wasn’t happy about my prowess with climbing. How nice. The trees would be easy for me to climb so I relaxed a little more. These were the only trees around for a long way that could be climbed without 3DMG, though the trees in the Tall Forest could be scaled with other climbing equipment, like blades, and a whole lot of determination. I’d never ventured that far, though. This time, it was one at a time, which really made no difference whatsoever to me. Dana did indeed have a natural instinct for climbing because she practically flew up those trees. Others were quite good at it, though a little dull. Most people went up slowly and cautiously, testing each branch out as they went, possibly for future reference or for fear of falling.   
      “Rhia. Show us how you climb trees on the outside.” I wish he hadn’t mentioned that. But alright. Like always, I ran up the trunk and swung myself around a branch, perching on it before jumping for another branch. It was easy for me to reach the top and it was easy for me to get down. Once I reached the floor, Keith looked down at me, since I am pretty bloody short.   
      “Once again, you’ve demonstrated your talents. I want you to teach everyone here how to climb this tree. Now.” No shouting, just a menacing whisper. The guy was scary, alright, but he was sort of nice? In a weird way?   
      “Uh… Yes, sir?” He nodded and stood by the tree, watching me like a hawk, just like the rest of the crowd. “Um… Right. Hi. Uh…” This wasn’t a good start to a lesson. _Throw away your insecurities. You’re teaching these people how to survive. If their 3DMG runs out of gas whilst in a forest, they’re going to rely on you and your training. Suck it up._ Okay.   
      “What I noticed as a lot of you were climbing was that you’re very cautious as you climb. Some of you were testing out every branch as you went. That may have been for future reference for when you climb this tree, but that’s not going to help you when we’re outside the walls. Every tree is different, every tree has weak branches and strong branches. You’ve all got instincts; you have to in order to be a Scout. You need to trust them more.” They all actually seemed to be listening to me. “If you run out of gas in your equipment and you're on the ground, you need to get into a tree as quickly as possible and as high as possible and, if you can do it, into another tree after that. Titans won’t wait around for you and neither will anything else we encounter.” I walked over to the trunk. “The trick to climbing these trees is to stick close to the trunk. The branches are strongest there. If the branch you’re standing on snaps, you’ll have another branch to stand on beneath you or beside you or above you. Any branch that’s near you can be used to save your life. I’ll show you.” I only prayed that there were some weak branches in this tree. I scaled the trunk quickly and got to the middle of tree before I spotted a weak branch. I purposefully stepped on it and snapped beneath me. Immediately, I snatched my hand out at another branch that was to my right and I swung myself around to rest on another branch.   
      “Any branch can be a lifeline.” I called down to them. “The other issue is speed, particularly in getting down from the tree. Again, you need to rely on instinct. If anything, moving down the tree should be easier, especially with the broken branches. If the branch that you step on snaps, there’ll be another one to replace it and more branches for you to hang on to. Watch what I do.” I dropped down the tree, keeping an eye on a weak branch that was a few branches below. Again, I purposefully stepped on it. It broke beneath me and I let myself drop, grabbing a branch in front of me and then finishing my drop onto the soil.   
      “Trees are the most important line of defence when you’re desperate. Titans can’t climb and if you can get high enough, some of them can’t reach you. They’re good for hunting if you get separated from your squad for too long and sometimes that happens. I’ve met many Scouts who couldn’t get back to the Wall and had to rely on hunting and hardly any of them had the common sense to climb trees to do so. There’s also every possibility that you can get cornered by bandits. Bandits dress heavily, liking to have big heavy weapons with them, which makes it awkward for them to climb. If you have to, escape through the trees, especially if the number of bandits flunks your skill in killing and hand to hand combat. Things can get ugly pretty quickly and I’ve seen it happen. Just rely on your instinct and you should be alright, but obviously, I can’t guarantee.” I swallowed, having run out of things to say. “Uh…” I looked at the instructor. He surveyed me for a moment before nodding. I took that as a ‘good job’. He stepped forward and I quickly joined my fellow Scouts.   
      “That’s the best lesson you’re gonna get about climbing. Now, take her advice into consideration and try again! NOW!” I watched people try climbing the trees. A lot of the people who had been cautious before were a lot faster now and seemingly more relaxed. Some didn’t take my advice and took much longer to climb and Keith looked at them disapprovingly when they got down. Dana was quicker and much more confident in her movements which I was happy about. I noticed Harry took my advice as well, his determination evident on his face. Keith didn’t tell me to climb the tree again, thankfully, because I was a little out of breath from the speech. We joined the other Scouts and he stood in front of all of us.   
      “NOTICEABLE CLIMBERS!” He bellowed. “DANA!” She stepped forwards. “BORAD!” A man from the other group stepped forwards. “WINNIE!” Fuck’s sake. “HARRY!” Not bad. “ERD!” Another man I didn’t recognise took a step. “RHIA!” I took a step forwards and tried not to smile at my early success. “THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THAT WILL SURVIVE WITHOUT THEIR 3DMG! LEARN FROM THEM. SCOUTS!”   
      “SIR!”   
      “DISMISSED!” I had no clue where to go again, so I trailed after Harry’s group again. They led me to a workout gym that was filled with weights and a track that was beside it. Most people went to the track and chatted before doing a light jog around it. A few people set out some hurdles and started jumping them. I walked over to a strange machine and looked at it. It had a seat and a bar that looked like it was supposed to be grabbed. Upon closer inspection, the seat moved up and down the metal bar it was balanced on and the bar extended, attached to a strong rope.   
      “It’s a rowing machine.” I turned and found Harry wrapping his hands in bandages.   
      “A rowing machine?”   
      “Yup. You sit on it and you pull the rope up as you bend your legs to bring the seat up and down. You pull the rope as the seat goes up.” I blinked at it. “It works out your abs and your arms. Here, I’ll show you.” He shucked his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He wore a simple top, so I concluded it was more likely that he was from a poorer district. Those who were better off tended to wear shirts or something of better quality. Harry sat on the seat and bent his legs so that the seat was at the base of the bar. He then straightened his legs, pulling the rope as the seat went up and his back arched to meet the strain. He repeated it a few times and then got up and nodded to me.   
      “I’m Harry, by the way.” He held out his hand for me to shake. Another friend?   
      “Rhia. Thanks for the demonstration.” He nodded at me again.   
      “You can change the strain on the rope and seat as well if you adjust the cogs.” He showed me how to adjust the strain on the rope and seat and then, with another nod, he walked over to a punchbag and started beating it. He was definitely skinnier than Jayden, but without his jacket on, I could see how big his shoulders and arms were. He was undoubtedly stronger than me but I was faster and probably had more fighting experience. I’d always prided myself on my combat skills so the session later could be fun. I sat on the rowing machine and started exercising. It was tiring me out quickly but I continued. I spent forty minutes on it and only got off it when someone else asked, quite politely, if they could use it. Not everyone hated me anymore, it seemed. Maybe I’d imagined their glares and sneers yesterday. Somehow, I didn’t think that was the case. I went around the gym for another few hours, trying out new equipment and getting a few tutorials on stuff I’d never even heard of before. Most people were accommodating. After god knows how long, I decided to do some running since there weren’t many people on it anymore. The hurdles were still out and only a few people were using them so I stuck to an unused track with hurdles and began to run. It felt good to be able to run again, but I was unused to running on level ground like this. In my experience, the ground I ran on was either rocks, mud or grass. It actually felt good to run on solid, flat ground. I observed other people jumping the hurdles before I got to it so I wouldn’t embarrass myself. Luckily, I cleared it easily. I did about six laps before I decided to take a break. There was a water pump with cups around it in the corner so I rehydrated and went back to the workout part of the gym. Everything was filled up so I hung about at the side. A bar caught my eye. It was a simple horizontal bar that was hanging between two beams. These beams had about forty nooks in them going all the way up. I wasn’t sure what they were for so I went with the common chin ups. It wasn’t long until someone approached me.   
      “That’s not what you’re supposed to do.” The man said. He had brown hair with an undercut and I didn’t recognise him.   
      “Uh… It’s not?” I let go of the bar and dropped to my feet.   
      “You’re supposed to pull yourself up and push the bar up to the next level.” I blinked at it.   
      “How do I do that?” He started to blush a little.   
      “I can’t show you… I’m not strong enough yet to do it… But I will be!” Well, he’s determined. “You’ve got to do a chin up but when you get your chin over, you’ve got to pull the bar up and lodge it on the next level. It takes a lot of physical strength, especially in your arms.” He paused. “D’you think you could do it?” I surveyed the bar again. The nooks went all the way up near the ceiling.   
      “Uh… How would I get down again?” He shrugged.   
      “I’ve never seen someone get high enough that they had to consider how to get down safely. Anyone who can do it manages about… ten? The most I’ve seen is twelve.” I looked at him sharply.   
      “Twelve!? There’s at least thirty!”   
      “Yeah, it needs a lot of strength. I guess you’ll have to figure out how to get down if you get up there.” He crossed his arms. “Are you gonna try?”   
      “It can’t hurt, can it?” I sighed. “I’m Rhia, by the way.”   
      “I know.” He said, holding out his hand. “I’m Krestian.” I shook his hand.   
      “Nice to meet you. Thanks for the verbal lesson.” I made sure to always thank people who extended kindness from now on. It could get me friends, plus people will see that I am civilised. Not a savage. I jumped and grabbed the bar again. I breathed out slowly and then did a chin up before pulling the bar up and quickly pushing it into the nook. Krestian was right - it was difficult. I did it again, my face going quite red with the exertion, and again and again and again. I’d counted twelve when I realised that I’d reached the record. Just how far could I go? I noticed a lot of people watching me. _No pressure but don’t embarrass yourself_. I pushed the bar up again and kept going.   
      “Go, Rhia!” I heard Dana shout and I almost fell with relief. I definitely had one friend in here, someone who cheered me on. I’d counted twenty seven when my arms were straining so much that I almost fell again. I counted another thirteen to go. _You can do this_. With every jump upwards, I groaned and grunted. The sounds of my exertion and the clanging of the bar as it reached the next level were the only noises in the entire gym. _Five… Four… Three… Two…_ I reached the final one.   
      “FUCK.” I shouted and yanked myself up. The bar was strong enough to hold my weight, clearly, so I sat on the damn thing and breathed heavily. No-one made a sound as I looked down at everyone.   
      “Uh… I did it?” I rubbed the back of my neck. Dana started clapping, followed by her friends who were only a little reluctant. Harry clapped, his claps were the loudest by far, goddamn. I noticed Krestian was clapping too and he was cheering too. Gradually, more people applauded. Only Winnie and her group weren’t clapping, though Jayden and his friends’ applause was a little sarcastic and he couldn’t take that damn smirk off his face.   
      “How are you gonna get down!?” Krestian shouted up to me. The clapping died down, waiting to hear my answer.   
      “Uh… I hadn’t really thought about that…” I peered around me. There was nothing I could use to climb down or slide down. If I had gloves, I could probably have gone down the beams after knocking the bar off. There was a climbing rope that was a little way away but I wouldn’t have been able to reach it and the rope burns would have seriously mauled my hands. A weak idea sparked in my head and I sighed. It was the only way to get down.   
      “Any ideas!?” Krestian yelled.   
      “I’ve got one! But uh… It’s not a great idea.” I swung down from sitting on the bar so that I was hanging from it again. “Here goes.” I muttered and did a chin up and pulled the bar out of the nook. I dropped like a stone and quickly deposited the bar halfways down on the twentieth level or so. It nearly pulled my arms out of my sockets and I groaned with pain. I did it again, this time pushing the bar in at ten and then five and then the last one. When I dropped to the ground, I nearly kissed the floor.   
      “Fuck, man…” Krestian muttered as I massaged my shoulders and stretched them out. “That was… BADASS!” Oh. Thank you. Dana ran over and grinned at me.   
      “That was so cool, you might be the best one here!” She complimented.   
      “Um, thank you, I-”   
      “You’ve got potential.” Harry said, standing next to Dana.   
      “Thanks, Harry. Uh… Does this mean I’m not a savage anymore?” Dana cocked her head.   
      “You’re not a savage to me. You never were really.” Oh, that’s nice.   
      “Some people can’t be persuaded,” Harry said, gesturing subtly to Winnie, “But I think the majority of people respect you now. You’re not an outsider anymore.”   
      “Yeah, you’re _the_ outsider.” Krestian grinned cheekily. Uh… Dana and Harry frowned at him.   
      “That was a shit compliment.” Harry said.   
      “It… It was a title…?” Krestian defended.   
      “They used to call me the Survivor outside of the walls, I think I get what you’re talking about, Krestian.” I assured him.   
      “The Survivor? Well, you’re the Outsider here, I guess.” Dana smiled. She clapped me on the shoulder.   
      “I can’t wait until hand to hand, I want to see you fight as well!”   
      “Same.” Harry said bluntly.   
      “SCOUTS!” When did he show up!?   
      “SIR!” We saluted. We were getting better at spontaneous salutes now.   
      “HAND TO HAND COMBAT. WE’RE GOING TO THE ARENA.” The Arena? Sounds… Ominous. Dana smiled again before hurrying back to her friends. Harry nodded at me and joined his group, leaving Krestian and I to wander along behind the group.   
      “You don’t have any friends?” I asked as we followed the Scouts outside.   
      “Yeah, I’ve got friends, it’s just that they’re always talking about Titans and stuff. Gets a bit dull after a while, you know?” I shrugged.   
      “I wouldn’t really know, but I get what you mean, I guess.” He looked at me sidelong for a few seconds. “What?”   
      “What’s it like? On the outside?” I knew the question would come up sooner or later.   
      “It’s… alright.” When I didn’t continue, he stared at me.   
      “‘Alright’? Is that it, just ‘alright’?” He asked incredulously.   
      “Uh… Yeah? I mean, it’s all I’ve ever known. I’m used to the trees and the bandits and the Titans. Some of the stuff inside the walls? I struggle to get my head around it. Harry had to teach me how to use the rowing machine earlier. I had to watch other people jump the hurdles before attempting to do that myself. You had to tell me what to do with the bar.” I shrugged. “I’ve never seen this many people in one place before. When we rode through the Shiganshina district, there were so many people gathered around the road that I almost fainted.” He looked at me with something like pity. “You get used to being alone, you know? Just don’t fucking pity me, I hate it when people do that. I’d rather people hate me than pity me.” I growled.   
      “I get what you mean. But everyone needs friends, right?” I blinked. Greyjoy crept into my mind and I nodded and sighed.   
      “Yeah. Everyone needs friends.” We arrived in the Arena. There were stands with seats on them that lined the walls and the floor was all dry dirt. The floor was painted into one big court that could be divided into two. Everyone stood in a line along the court.   
      “SCOUTS!”   
      “SIR!” My voice was hurting from shouting that so much.   
      “Hand to hand combat now!” He walked in front of us and did the same as he did during the climbing exercise. When we were split into two, he assigned one group to one court and the other to another. He chose a champion from each group to fight until they were beaten. The guy who was good at climbing, Erd, was the champion in the other court and Harry was the champion for our court. The final champions would then go against each other. As Harry fought off three guys in a row, I watched Erd. He was very good with combat as well, but he was big and slow. He was beaten eventually, after five people, and the new champion of the other court was a girl called Jen. She went out after one round and was replaced with another girl who I didn’t catch the name of. On our court, Harry held his own for seven guys before being beaten down by one of Jayden’s lackeys called Caleb. Caleb lasted a lot longer than Harry did, I’m afraid to say, but was beaten by Jayden (though I think he intentionally let him win). The politics of friendship groups evaded me. Dana wasn’t very good at hand to hand whatsoever but she didn’t seem to mind. One of her friends nearly beat Jayden but he got her into a headlock that I’d seen a few times before. It was strong but breakable. Krestian barely tried at all, in my opinion. He was flipped onto his back and he just laughed it off. What a weirdo. At last, it was my turn.   
      As I stepped onto the court, Dana whooped and Krestian cheered. Harry rolled his eyes at them but some of his friends gave me the thumbs up. _Don’t drag it out. Just get him down quickly_. I ached for use of my knife and spear but this was only to incapacitate. I swallowed and got into a defensive stance. Jayden, as I’ve said before, was huge. For such a big guy, he was fast, but my size and speed would outmatch his. As long as he didn’t get me pinned, I was certain I could win this. _Fight dirty if you have to. Bandits won’t go easy on you._ Yes, thank you, voice in my head.   
      “FIGHT!” Keith roared, his voice bouncing off the walls. As soon as he shouted that, Jayden charged towards me, letting out a battle cry of his own. It was almost too simple to dodge and stick my leg out, sending him careening into the ground with a face full of dirt, the soldiers watching laughing heartily. I was reluctant to pin him down though. I wanted to show the others what I could do. So, I took a few paces back and readied myself again. Jayden scrambled off the floor and ran at me, this time stopping short to actually attack me. I blocked his hits and slyly kicked him in the ribs as hard as I could. He yelped and clutched them. _What a mistake_. With his hands occupied with cradling his bruised ribs, I roundhouse kicked him in the face, spinning into a crouch and kicking his legs out from beneath him. He went down with an almighty **THUD** and I quickly pushed him onto his front and held his arms out behind him. I bent his elbows and bent over to ensure he couldn’t escape.   
      “JAYDEN. OUT. NEW CHAMPION. RHIA.” I got up rapidly and let him get up on his own. He cursed under his breath and glared at me.   
      “Watch it, outsider.” He spat and walked back to his friends. They booed me whilst others cheered. It made me happy that they were practically drowned out. I beat a further five people before Keith sent in people who had already done a match with the previous champions. I beat Harry surprisingly easily as well, though he was definitely very strong. We shook hands afterwards, which was pretty cool. Caleb was almost just as easy and he landed on his face for beating Harry. I couldn’t help it; I went a bit easier on Dana. She was so small that it didn’t seem fair to beat the shit out of her. But she barely tried at all, like Krestian. I beat the both of them, though I wasn’t happy about it. Scouts needed to know how to fight back! I waited for Keith to send in another person. No-one stepped up.   
      “CHAMPIONS!” Oh. “TAKE YOUR POSITIONS. SPECTATORS. ON THE BLEACHERS.” So the stands were called bleachers? I walked over to the centre of the court. Who was my opponent?   
      “CHAMPIONS HANJI AND RHIA. SHAKE HANDS.” I’d never even noticed Hanji, though thinking back, I recalled that she was friends with Erd and some others who I’d yet to know the names of. Hanji grinned at me, her glasses glinting in the fading sunlight filtering through the windows.   
      “Hey, Rhia, nice to meet ya!” She greeted, obviously very happy to meet me. I blinked but shook her hand.   
      “Hi, Hanji, it’s nice to meet you too.” I said as warmly as I could.   
      “No hard feelings if I beat your ass, though, right?” She was determined but she was so unbelievably _happy_. It was almost… refreshing. Though weird.   
      “No hard feelings if I beat yours?” I said with a sly grin. She laughed.   
      “None whatsoever!”   
      “CHAMPIONS. POSITIONS.” We nodded at each other with a smile again before taking our positions. She was taller than me, which wasn’t really a problem, but she was also fast. Beating her may prove difficult. She was more offensive than defensive, so I took the more defensive position. _Beat her_. I planned to.   
      “FIGHT!” She didn’t spring into action and nor did I. We both circled each other for a few seconds before she sprinted towards me. This girl was obviously really good at fighting. Hopefully, I’d be better. She jumped at the last second and I ducked. She twisted over me, rolling over my back and landed a few feet away before coming back in with an attack. She went with a kick to my face and I grabbed her ankle and pulled her in closer, taking her by surprise. I twisted her leg and went to kick her other leg out from beneath her but she wriggled her leg out of my grip and roundhouse kicked me in the jaw. I stumbled back, massaging it for a second before resuming my defensive stance. She swung at me with a punch that could have easily knocked a tooth out if I hadn’t have dodged. I grabbed her arm and kicked her leg out from beneath her. I wasn’t quick enough to pin her though, and she rolled out of the way. She got to her feet and this time, I went with the offensive. I kicked her shoulder and pushed my hip into her, flipping her over. She managed to land on her feet and she wrapped her arm around my neck to get me in a headlock. I jumped and flipped us over and we both went to the ground. Again, she rolled to her feet far too quickly, though I was up as well, and she went in for a swipe to the neck. I ducked into a crouch and leaped as high as I could before kicking her face in. She went spinning to the ground and, I was still recovering from the surprise, but I managed to crawl onto her and get her into a similar hold as I did to Jayden. She struggled beneath me before giving up and nodding at Keith.   
      “END FIGHT!” I stood up and she rolled over with a grin. I held out my hand and I pulled her up.   
      “Argh, fuck…” I muttered, stretching my shoulders again. The workout with the bar had really taken a toll.  
      “OUR SCOUT CHAMPION. RHIA!” The Scouts erupted into applause and Hanji was clapping excitedly as well. Was this girl on some sort of drug or potion or something?   
      “It seems we all have something to learn from Rhia today.” He shouted, calming the din. “SCOUTS!”   
      “SIR!”   
      “DISMISSED.” And like that, we were allowed to leave. When we all left the Arena, the sun was setting over the walls.   
      “Rhia.” I turned. Keith Shadis stood with his hands behind his back and looking stern, as usual.   
      “Sir.” I saluted.   
      “I’m told that you got the bar to the top today in the workout gym.” What? Oh, right, that.   
      “Yes, sir, I did.”   
      “Your arms must be hurting then.” I blinked.   
      “Yes, sir, they are.” He watched me for a few seconds.   
      “Don’t exert yourself on your first day trying to impress your fellow Scouts. If you injure yourself on your first day of training, you’ll only look pathetic in the painful days to come.” Shit…   
      “Yes, sir. I apologise, sir.” His eyebrows knitted together for a moment.   
      “I’ve heard rumours that you’re uncivilised, rash, rude and can’t speak.” Ah, those rumours were still circulating then…   
      “I’ve heard the same rumours, sir, and I’m glad to say that they aren’t true.” He nodded distractedly.   
      “As am I. Don't make me regret letting Erwin bring you in. Return to your dorm, Scout. The next few weeks will be hard.” I nodded and saluted again.   
      “Thank you, sir.” He dismissed me and I walked back to the dorm, only getting lost once. Everyone else was in there and they stared at me when I came in.   
      “Uh…”   
      “You still haven’t impressed me, savage.” Winnie exclaimed from out of the blue. “You girls seem to have forgotten that she’s an animal that was raised outside of the walls? For all we know, she’s been fraternising with Titans!” There was a murmur among the girls and I started getting quite nervous. “She could be a spy!” Fuck, fuck, fuck…   
      “Oh, please, Winnie,” Hanji interjected, “She’s just a woman, for god’s sake. She’s no different from us, though she’s a lot more polite than you.” Winnie glared at her.   
      “Shut it, four eyes.” She sneered.   
      “Don’t call her four eyes.” I decided that now was the time to take a stand. All eyes turned to me.   
      “What did you just say, outsider?” Winnie growled. I stepped forwards. For some reason, my heart was beating faster than it would be if I was fighting a Titan.   
      “I said: ‘don’t call her four eyes’.” I crossed my arms for added confidence. Winnie smirked and walked towards me slowly, predator-like in her actions. I’d witnessed Greyjoy do this multiple times and I could see why; this shit was terrifying.   
      “What are you gonna do, huh? Outsider? You gonna try and beat me up? Or are you gonna eat me, like the cannibal that you probably are?” That brought a frown to my face.   
      “A cannibal? Where the fuck did you get that from?”   
      “Maybe this is how all savages talk, in their weird ‘British’ accent?” She turned and looked at all the girls. “The girl has done god knows what, sleeping in a cave and probably wiping herself with a fucking leaf, and now she’s sleeping in the same room as us? We’re people, for god’s sake, we deserve better than _this_.” She pointed at me. Ouch. The amount of disdain that was now aimed at me was a little frightening. Hanji stepped forward this time.   
      “You’re gonna believe her over Erwin?” She asked the girls. “Erwin would never bring back someone who was a danger to us and Commander Shadis would never let him do that. Rhia’s proved herself to us in just one day that she’s polite, kind and she’s physically capable. She taught everyone how to properly climb a tree, which, Winnie, I recall you were reluctant to do.” Hanji looked at me with a reassuring smile. “And if anyone hurts Rhia, they have to go through me!” She pointed at herself with her thumb, wearing a big cheesy grin on her face. Winnie scoffed.   
      “Whatever. Just you wait, she’ll probably kill us in our sleep.” She flounced off to her bed, which thankfully was on the other side of the room. Dana wandered over to me.   
      “Sorry that I didn’t help you out there… It’s just… Winnie’s sort of top dog, you know? She’s close with Jayden and they pull pranks on people they don’t like…” She looked so ashamed of herself. “I wish I could be braver, like you or Hanji, but I’m a coward.” I put a hand on her shoulder.   
      “Hey, Dana, you’re not a coward. Look at me.” Reluctantly, she looked, up, tears in her eyes. “You have a rare skill of knowing when to pick your fights. You don’t need to defend me, okay? You focus on what you’re doing alright? You’re not a coward for looking out for yourself. After all, there’s only one person who’ll definitely be there with you through thick and thin, and that’s you. So look after yourself, ‘kay?” She smiled before scurrying back to her friends. They politely nodded to me and I returned it.   
      “Hey, Rhia.” Hanji called and beckoned me over. She was a few beds down from mine. I smiled as I approached.   
      “Hi, Hanji. Thanks for sticking up for me back there. I’m not that good with people just yet, I guess.” I said bashfully.   
      “It’s no problem, Rhia, thanks for sticking up for me too.” She smiled. “I don’t get upset when people call me four eyes though. Even my friends call me it, right, Petra?” The girl who also hung around with Erd nodded.   
      “Yeah, it’s basically our term of endearment for her.” Petra smiled, her face lighting up in a pretty way. She was about my size and had blonde hair that looked almost orange in the lantern light.   
      “See? It’s all fine. Besides, I’m smarter than most of the people here anyway. I’m hoping to work in the new Science department that’s dedicated to unlocking the secrets to Titans!” She wanted to be a scientist? Wow.   
      “That sounds really cool.” I complimented. “Science is all the experiments and research, right?” Science felt like magic to me, I’m going to be honest.   
      “Yeah, that’s the one. One more year and I should have my qualifications all done!” She was so happy, was she ever upset or angry?   
      “Wow, well, good luck, Hanji.”   
      “Lights out, girls!” The door closed again and the lanterns dimmed.   
      “Well, goodnight, Rhia.” Hanji beamed.   
      “‘Night, Hanji. ‘Night, Petra.” Petra smiled back at me.   
      “Goodnight, Rhia.” I headed back to my bed and pulled off my uniform. I hung my jacket on the bedpost and took the straps and boots and put them on top of the shelf as well. I didn’t trust Winnie not to steal my stuff when I was sleeping. It was boiling in the dorm so I pulled my shirt off as well, and pulled my old black top on. It fit comfortably but I made a mental note to wash and mend it. The same for the rest of my clothes. I lay back and the lanterns went out, leaving the room in total darkness. After the exhausting day, it didn’t take long for me to fall asleep. 

      I heard whispers before I felt the hands on me. I jerked up, trying to free my arms from the restraints. I was gagged and blindfolded quickly and then pulled off the bed gracelessly but quietly. I heard a door open and it became lighter. A door closed and I realised I’d been taken out of the dorm. One of the voices sounded familiar. Winnie.   
      “Just in here. The guys are in there waiting.”   
      “Winnie, is this such a good idea?” A girl whispered. “I mean, she seems fine…”   
      “Seriously? You’re gonna trust the four eyed bitch and this animal here over me, Steff? Fuck you, if you’ve got cold feet, go back to bed and cry yourself to sleep, and while you’re at it, find some new friends.” So I was going to be punished it seemed for showing her up. Or maybe just for being me. Either way, it wasn’t something I could help. And, on top of that, she had her 'friends' terrified of her. I heard another door open and some male laughs sounded from within. I was dragged further into the room and the door closed behind me. Fuck, what were they going to do?   
      “Aww… She looks so scared…” One of the male voices said. I didn’t recognise them.   
      “Hmm, she should be.” That was Jayden. “We’re gonna cut her up nice and pretty.” Fuck, fuck, fuck… “Bring her over, Winnie.” Winnie certainly wasn’t doing the heavy lifting but the two girls holding me dragged me over. I flicked my arm up, punching one girl in the face before kicking the other in the gut, I think. I tore the blindfold off but that was I all could do before I was seized again. This time, it was Caleb and another guy who grabbed me. My eyes were wide with panic as I saw the knife that Jayden was holding. Fuck.   
      “Oh, you see this, do you?” He smiled at me, waving the knife in front of me. “You know, I wish I’d been in the Military Police. More privileges, less whiny bitches. More opportunities for torture, I’m sure.” I was pushed to my knees and Jayden stood up, circling around me. “This’ll be fun. The instructor was right though. We can all learn something from you, Rhia.” He cut my top open from the back. “And that’s not to trust outsiders like you.” He paused. “What kind of a bra is this?... Oh well, it’s not obstructing me from my work. It almost enhances it actually. Sitting comfortably, Rhia?” I whimpered. He was going to cut me up, he was going to torture me, he was going to hurt me. But was he going to rape me? Please, god, not again, please…   
      “Good. Then I can start.” The pain of the knife slicing my skin cut through me and I tried so hard not to scream. He moved the knife in a very precise way, showing that he was talented with a knife, the fucker. It felt like hours had passed and he was only at my shoulderblades. When it reached halfway down my back, that was when I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I screamed and screamed into the gag as he kept cutting and cutting.   
      “At last, she has a voice!” Winnie cheered, causing most of the spectators to cheer. Looking frantically around, I could see the doubt and the shame in some people’s eyes. I pleaded with them with my eyes and they turned away. _Spineless cowards_. They weren’t like Dana. They were witnessing torture and they did nothing. At last, Jayden stopped and he seemed to admire his work.   
      “Damn, I’m good. Guys, look at this.” People crowded around my mauled back.   
      “That’s pretty good, Jayden. How’d you manage to fit it all in?”    
      “I have a good vision for things, Korden. I’m an artist.” FUCK YOU, YOU’RE A SADIST AND A PSYCHOPATH. “Rhia, do you want to see my work?” His face appeared by mine and he smirked. “Get the mirrors.” Someone held a mirror in front of my face and another held one behind me. It took a moment to angle them right but when they got it right, all my breath left me. There, scrawled in my flesh at a slight diagonal slant from the small of my back to the nape of my neck, was the word: ‘Outsider’. He’d completely defaced my back, blood running down my skin, little bits of flesh dripping off the wounds. I tried to catch my breath but I ended up hyperventilating and trying to keep the bile down.   
      “Let’s leave her here.” Someone, Caleb, suggested.   
      “Sounds good. Caleb, tie her to the table over there.” They bound my hands in front of me - the idiots - and then tied me to the table leg. They laughed as they left me in agony. As soon as the door was shut, I started loosening the bindings. A **clunk** met my ears and I looked at the door. Shit. Had they just locked it!? I got out of the bounds quickly, since they were poorly tied, and ran to the door as quickly as I could. The blood loss and realisation of what had just happened had weakened me a lot. I collided with the door, moving the handle up and down, but the door wouldn’t open. I tugged my gag off and screamed for help until my voice went hoarse. I gave up and sank to my knees. Greyjoy’s tooth was still around my neck, thank god. If they had taken that, there’d be hell to pay. I didn’t sleep at all and the sunlight started to inch through the barred window eventually. People would be up and walking around. I started banging on the door again, calling out for someone to help me. It took another thirty minutes or so until I gave up and waited for someone to pass by. I was fatigued from yesterday and my blood loss had almost made me pass out. I was close to falling asleep when I heard voices.   
      “Captain, I don’t know where she is, but I’m certain that Winnie had something to do with it.” That voice. Hanji?   
      “I need proof that it was her. If we can find Rhia, we can take a statement and see that those responsible are punished.” That was Erwin. It took me a moment to act but I hit the door.   
      “HELP!” I screamed at the top of my ruined voice.   
      “What the-”   
      “HELP!” I shouted again.   
      “She’s in there!” Hanji exclaimed and someone hit the door from the other side. “Rhia! Is that you!?” I sobbed in response.   
      “They took me while everyone was sleeping…” I wept.   
      “Rhia, we’re going to get you out, okay? What did they do!?” She asked. There were noises of someone desperately trying to pick the lock.   
      “Why don’t we have a skeleton key!?” Erwin demanded.   
      “Hanji, they… They…”   
      “Rhia, what’s happened? Did they hurt you?” I could barely respond, I just wanted out.   
      “Please, just get me out of here, you’ll see what the fuckers did to me.” As they tried to pick the lock, I turned to look at the room behind me, hoping for some incriminating evidence that it was them, but there was only the blindfold and bindings on the floor and my blood pooled on the stone, staining it. Finally, there was a **click** and the door opened outwards. I looked up with tears on my cheeks at Hanji, Erwin and some other Scouts. They looked so shocked.   
      “They carved me up…” I whispered. “Look what they wrote on my back…” Hanji gasped and was almost crying herself as helped me up and turned me around.   
      “FUCK!” One of the Scouts exclaimed. I didn’t want to look at anyone. I hid my face in my hands and prayed it would all be over.   
      “Take her to the infirmary, NOW.” Erwin ordered. “Hanji, go with her. We’ll deal with this.” A hand fell on my shoulder. “Rhia.” Very reluctantly, I looked up at Erwin. He looked so guilty, but for what?   
      “I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I should have done something more to prevent it and I’m sorry. This is my fault.” Somehow, I managed to snap back at him despite my situation.   
      “It’s not your fault, idiot, it’s those shitheads, Winnie and Jayden and their friends.” I sniffed. “Sorry.” He wasn’t angry though.   
      “It’s nice that you don’t blame me, Rhia, but I will always blame myself for what’s happened to you.” He looked at Hanji and nodded. “Take her up and make sure she gets immediate treatment.” Hanji led me along with some Scouts I’d never met and Mike through corridors and up some stairs to the infirmary.   
      “It’s alright, Rhia, we’re gonna fix you up, okay? The nurse here is really good, she’ll make sure they only scar a little, okay?” I nodded numbly. My speed was slow but they couldn’t carry me because of the wounds. We finally reached the infirmary and the nurse bustled over with a worried expression.   
      “What’s happened to this one? I didn’t know you’d made another expedition…” She said.   
      “This isn’t Titans.” Hanji growled. “This is Scouts.” This was the first time I’d really seen her angry and boy, she was scary. “We’re gonna make them pay, but you need to fix her up.” It came out as an order but the nurse didn’t mind. She simply nodded and helped me over to a bed.   
      “What seems to be the… Oh lord…” Since it had been festering and bleeding all night, I could only imagine how awful it looked. “When did this happen?”   
      “Middle of the night. I was locked in a room so I couldn’t get out.” I informed her weakly.   
      “Okay, this might take some time… Drink this.” She held a cup to my lips and I drank it. The pain numbed but was still there.   
      “Will it scar?” I asked, wiping my mouth. The nurse looked at me pitifully and sighed.   
      “I’m afraid so. There’s nothing I can do about the scars, but I can bandage them up and dress them so they heal up quickly. I’m sorry, honey, but that’s all I can do. I’m not a miracle worker.” If only. Knowing that I’d bear these scars for the rest of my life didn’t make me very happy, I can tell you. But I’d basically cried myself out of tears overnight so my eyes burned and the lump in my throat thickened but no tears came. Life inside the walls certainly wasn’t all it cracked up to be. 

 


	4. Three Months On...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's three months on from that terrible night and there are three new recruits and a reshuffle of squads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains brief mentions of rape and torture.

      Another three months had passed since the incident. Erwin had been able to imprison Winnie and some of her friends (thanks to the eyewitness accounts of the argument Winnie and I had the night before) and one of Jayden’s followers, but the rest got off with punishment like privy duty, community service, cleaning duties and they had a restraining order that would expire in a few days. I, personally, was not looking forward to that day. I was sitting eating breakfast on my own as usual. Hanji always invited me to sit over with her and her friends but I declined politely every time. It was best not to get her mixed up with me. Krestian insisted that I sit with him and his friends, the same with Dana and, eventually, Harry, but I refused. I seemed to be bad luck anyway. It was nice to chat with her but I preferred to be on my own. Until I found a kindred spirit who really understood what it was like to be seen as scum by people, I’d have to suck it up.   
      Imagine my surprise when three new people walked into the cafeteria that morning. _Newbies? Friends?_ I was so pathetic that I almost perked up like a dog at the thought of new friends. _Shut up and drink your tea_. I sipped my tea, carefully keeping an eye on the three as they walked in. No-one spoke to them but many people watched them. Some whispered about them, but not scathingly like they had done about me. They seemed… awestruck. Who were these people? They sat down on the table next to mine and I narrowly avoided being caught staring at them. To engage myself, I pulled out my sketchbook and started drawing, skipping over the Goliath Birdeater again. That fucking spider was going to be the death of me. I started shading the still-life drawing of Hanji’s glasses, trying to get the reflection just right but conversation at the next table tugged my attention away.   
      “This is so different from underground, huh, big bro?” The girl said. I chanced a look at her. She had dark red-brown hair that was unruly and in two ponytails. She looked cheeky, childish and cheerful. Yes, I did just do that and I’m proud of it too.   
      “Obviously, Isabel. The sun actually reaches us up here.” The guy sitting next to her responded with a roll of his eyes. He had grey hair that was sort of curly and spiky at the same time. He was a little more suspicious than Isabel was and he was looking at everyone around him. Sitting on my own drew more attention to me and I almost regretted declining Dana’s offer to sit with her for breakfast. Before he could notice me, I went back to my drawing but continued listening.   
      “Yeah, I think I know what being underground is like, moron.” The grey-haired boy sighed.   
      “Isabel.” He groaned.   
      “Farlan.” She retorted in the same tone of voice.   
      “Stop fighting.” Another voice joined the mix. I hadn’t even registered the third person for some reason. Cautiously, I glanced up and then looked away again. The third person was a guy, probably older than the other two but shorter than them. He had black hair in an undercut and seemed to have a permanent look of indifference on his face, his eyes lidded to show just how much he didn’t care. Want to know something else? He was fucking hot. I mean, Harry’s good looking, yeah, and Krestian is pretty handsome too, but this guy? _Fuck_. I doodled lightly on the page, wondering if I could pluck up the courage to speak to any of them. They said they were from the underground? I’d never heard of the underground… Was there a city beneath the city? People started standing up, according to disembodied voices around the cafeteria, to go to the courtyard. I packed my book away and hurried to catch up with Krestian.   
      “Why are we heading to the courtyard?” I asked, sealing my thigh holster bag and straightening my collar.   
      “New recruits, didn’t you see them? They’re being welcomed, like you were.” I snorted.   
      “Hopefully they’ll be welcomed in a nicer way than I was.” He slung his arm around my shoulders.   
      “Hey, man, that’s a thing of the past! Look to the future! People are slightly more tolerant now!” I shoved him off me and rolled my eyes.   
      “Yeah, slightly isn’t enough.” We all stood in our lines and waited. _Farlan, Isabel and that other guy… I didn’t catch his name_.   
      “ATTENTION!” Keith shouted. We stood to attention, our feet a shoulder-width apart and our hands behind our backs. The three new recruits stood on the stage.   
      “From now on, these three will fight alongside you.” He informed us. “You three… Introduce yourselves to your fellow soldiers.” There was an awkward moment of silence as we waited to hear their names.   
      “Levi.” Said the guy in the middle. He didn’t have a last name either. A kindred spirit?   
      “My name is Isabel Magnolia! Nice to meet ya!” She was certainly excited.   
      “Farlan Church. Pleased to meet you.” Farlan thumped his chest to show his appreciation. What an interesting group.   
      “They will stay in Flagon’s squad.” Keith continued. “Flagon, take care of them.” Even I could register his shock from where I stood a few rows behind him.   
      “In my squad!?” He exclaimed.   
      “Do you object?” Keith questioned in that tone that showed he had no time for any sort objections from anyone.   
      “No, I just thought they’d join Erwin’s squad.” Flagon stammered.   
      “Captain Erwin is working on a new formation for the next expedition. He entrusted the new recruits to you, including the new recruit from three months ago.” Wait, what? “Rhia, you’ll be joining your new comrades in Flagon’s squad.” But I had friends at last…? Didn’t that matter?   
      “Come stand in front of the stage, Rhia, so Flagon can identify you.” I really don’t want to but okay… I walked to the front as strongly as I could, bearing in mind that everyone, including the new recruits, were watching me. I stood to attention in front of Flagon, facing him.   
      “This is Rhia. You may remember her from a few months ago when Captain Erwin brought her back from an expedition. She’ll be under your care and protection now, Flagon.” Was that a subtle threat? I didn’t chance a look back at Keith.  
      “You will be responsible for their training. Is that understood?” Flagon saluted.  
      “Yes! Understood!”   
      “That’s all. Rhia, return to your position. You’ll report to Flagon after this meeting. Moving on. Each squad should provide a standard report…” Flagon was not happy at all. 

      When the meeting was done, we were called to follow our squad leader. Flagon sent the rest of his squad to their first training session and told us to follow him to the barracks. I know that I said that I wanted to talk to these guys but now I was suddenly put in the same squad as them? That was a bit sudden. I felt a little empty at the thought of leaving Dana, Harry, Krestian and Hanji behind. None of us spoke as we walked down corridors though Isabel was fidgeting and whistling. At last, we reached a door that Flagon pushed open.   
      “This is the squad barracks.” He informed us and we followed him inside.   
      “There’s a lot of beds!” Farlan observed.   
      “Yay! Does that mean we live together?” Isabel asked with glee.   
      “Women live separately.” Flagon said bluntly.   
      “Ehh, but I’m fine here!” Isabel complained. _You’ll probably end up pushed out of this group. They’re already friends_.   
      “Don’t argue, Isabel.” Farlan sighed.   
      “Why are you so boring?” She retorted.   
      “Don’t call me that!”   
      “You will sleep here.” Flagon said, pointing at the bed in the farmost corner. Even I had to say it looked unclean and dusty. And I've lived in a fucking cave. Levi didn’t seem very happy about it. He walked over and swept his hand under the top bunk. Dust and wood chips fell off and littered the mattress and floor. Flagon didn’t seem to understand that the dirtiness of the room was pretty nasty. In the corners there were spiders (fuck!) and there were cobwebs and things that scuttled about in the corner of your eye.   
      “You lived in underground sewers so much that you’re probably used to the dirt. But here, you have cleanliness and order.” It’s like three months ago all over again.   
      “What did you say?” Levi questioned, his voice taking on a dangerous tone. “You bastard, what did you say?” He got up in Flagon’s face.   
      “What? Don’t you dare talk to an outranking officer that way, you filthy piece of trash!” I stepped in before it could go any further.   
      “We’ll keep it clean, sir.” I said, putting myself between Flagon and Levi and looked back at the new guy behind me. “Right?” He watched me with no emotion. Farlan stepped in as well.   
      “Right! We’ll make sure it’s neat and tidy!” He saluted. Well, he tried. He only put up one hand and it was over his chest, not his heart. Flagon had had enough.   
      “Tch, once you finish unpacking, go to the training grounds. Rhia, you’re on clean up in the bathrooms. We’ll start by teaching Church the correct salute.” He left and we stood there in silence until Farlan turned to Levi. Great, clean up.   
      “Levi! I told you not to fight!” Levi glared before inspecting the mattress.   
      “Did you not hear what he called us?”   
      “Well…”   
      “You’ve got to suck it up.” I interjected. Levi narrowed his eyes at me. _He’s hot when he’s angry_.   
      “What?”   
      “Trust me. When it comes to officers that rank higher than you, it’s best to leave that alone. It’ll only land you in trouble. When it comes to fellow cadets, however…” My back twinged just thinking about it. “Not everyone is going to like you as soon as you arrive.”   
      “You sound like you speak from experience.” Farlan said, leaning on the bed. He was sharp.   
      “Eh, well, that was three months ago. Things that happened then I can more or less put behind me. But it’s hell when it’s happening. I’m just giving you the heads up.” No-one deserves to go through what I did. And of course, I hadn’t forgiven Jayden or his friends for what they did. Would you? They didn’t need to know what happened though.   
      “... Was it hard?” Isabel asked, filled with curiosity. I looked up at her from where she was perched on the top bunk.   
      “Yeah. It was. Almost unbearably so.” I shrugged and crossed my arms, leaning on the wall. “Keep your chin up, Isabel. It gets better.”   
      “We won’t be here for too long, I’m sure.” Farlan said. “You guys remember why we’re here?” Levi glared at him, inclining his head towards me.   
      “I couldn’t give a shit what you guys are up to, trust me.” I said.   
      “Even so, we can’t talk about this with you here.” Levi said, apparently no longer angry about what I said earlier.   
      “Yeah, let’s keep it quiet.” Farlan agreed.   
      “Don’t worry, Farlan, we’ll handle everyone who tried to stop us, just like when we were underground!” They looked at me to see if I had any reaction. I just shrugged and casually walked over and leaned on the next bed along.   
      “Be quiet.” He said to Isabel. “It’s best to remain silent here.”   
      “HEY!” Isabel shouted. “DO YOU THINK I’M STUPID?”   
      “Alright, what’s eighteen plus twenty two?” Uh… Hang on… Forty, right?   
      “Umm… We add two to the eight…” Isabel thought aloud.   
      “It’s forty, stupid.” Levi said, hitting her on the head.   
      “Ouch!” She yelped. “Even brother calls me stupid.” She had tears in her eyes. I almost wanted to hug her, which was weird. Levi watched her before ruffling her hair affectionately. Or, as affectionate as one can be when he seems to have no expression on his face other than boredom.   
      “Don’t talk nonsense, stupid.” I smiled to myself. Not such a big thug after all then.   
      “Math wasn’t needed underground. It was more important to fill your stomach than know how to count.” She complained. That I could sympathise with.   
      “Okay, Farlan,” Levi pushed Isabel’s head away, “In your plan, we had to join Blondie’s squad.” Blondie? As in Erwin?   
      “Well, not everything goes as planned.” Farlan warned. “Now that we’ve entered the Scouting Legion, we need to complete our plan before the expedition.”   
      “And yet we must destroy it.” Levi growled, punching the bed with the side of his fist. They were subtle about their conversation. I had no clue what they were on about.   
      “I understand, but…” Farlan was having second thoughts about whether his mystery plan would work.   
      “Farlan.” Levi said. “Follow your plan… and get rid of it. That’s my concern.”   
      “... I know.” Farlan replied, shaking a little.   
      “But before that…” Levi’s gaze rested on the cupboard nearby. He grabbed some things from inside and put a cloth over his head and and rolled up his sleeves after taking his jacket off. His arms are nice. He then opened the window before turning back to us.   
      “We need to put things in order.” He informed us. “We will clean until not a single speck of dust is present.” Both Farlan and Isabel looked annoyed at the idea of it.   
      “Right now?” Isabel groaned.   
      “You said you didn’t want any conflicts.” He muttered.   
      “Technically, that was Farlan, not me!”   
      “We’re cleaning and that’s that.” His word was final and Farlan and Isabel, groaning as they went, grabbed cloths from the cupboard and brooms of their own. I watched them, wondering if the cleaning party invitation was extended to me as well. I turned and Levi was right in front of me. _How did he move that fast?_ He was pretty short but because of my impossible size, I was shorter than him.   
      “That’s including you.” He ordered. “I don’t know where you’re from but I don’t like slackers when I’m cleaning.” I almost laughed.   
      “Where I’m from, nobody cleans up anything except for the blood on their clothes. So I’d consider it a pleasure if I cleaned this room.” I remarked and walked to the cupboard, putting the cloth on over my head as well. The beds were pretty damn manky so I moved to the bed that was a few paces from the base of the bunk bed that Isabel had claimed. The mattresses looked like they hadn’t been used in years. I moved the mattress on the top and attempted to flip it over. I lost my grip and the mattress fell back to where it had been, throwing up a huge dust cloud. I coughed and spluttered, reaching and fumbling to open the window by the bed.   
      “Fuck…” I choked. All of the mattresses were like that, we discovered. We engaged in idle chatter as we worked, and it was quite fun, though Isabel and Farlan were the most talkative, mostly because they were constantly at each other’s throats. Once all the mattresses had been beaten and the dust swept away, I got to work clearing the cobwebs, standing on a stool at every cobweb I found. Admittedly, Farlan would have been better off doing it, considering his height flunked us all, but I didn’t want to ask him. He was pretty miserable with his dustpan and brush. I tried not to chuckle at his sad expression and reached up to the cobweb in the corner. But it wasn’t a cobweb. It was a goddamn spiderweb. I had been too amused by Farlan’s forlorn expression that I reached my hand into the web, getting it all over me and the fucking huge spider jumped onto my hand. I screamed and stumbled off the stool, crawling backwards and waving my arm around like a mad thing. It had fallen off in my hurry to get away and I could see it perched on the stool, the little fucker.   
      “What’s wrong?” Levi asked, coming over, with Isabel and Farlan in tow (the latter quite happy to leave the dustpan and brush).   
      “Fucking… Huge… Spider.” I stammered, scrambling to my feet. “Right there. On the stool. Staring at me.”   
      “It’s tiny.” So, maybe I overreacted but I looked at him like he was crazy. “Of all the things to be afraid of, you’re scared of spiders.”   
      “I don’t see the point of being afraid of things that can hurt me, it just stops me from doing what needs to be done. I prefer to be scared of little fuckers with eight legs because they can’t hurt me.” I shuddered at the thought of the drawing of the spider in my notebook. “Except for the Goliath Birdeater. That shit could kill you.”   
      “A Goliath Birdeater?” Isabel looked nervous being close to the spider and we both simultaneously backed away from the little monster on the stool.   
      “A huge tarantula that eats birds. I have a drawing of it in here.” I pulled my sketchbook out of my bag and flicked to the page that still gave me the creeps. “I had to sketch it when it was dead, I wasn’t chancing anything.” I shuddered as the picture came up. Even Farlan and Levi recoiled.   
      “Is that… actual size?” I’d stood over it, trying to get its span, but my notebook was a little too small for it.   
      “No, it’s slightly bigger, I had to shrink it down to fit on the page.” I admitted.   
      “I… see your point now.” Levi said, still staring at the spider drawing.   
      “If these were running around everywhere in Titan size and the Titans were only this big, I’d be considerably more frightened of spiders.” I said, going to close the book.   
      “Wait, do you have more drawings in here?” Isabel asked, reaching for the book. I was reluctant to let her see them.   
      “Isabel. That’s rude. Ask her first.” Levi chided.   
      “Sorry. Can I have a look, Rhia?” When she used my name, it was odd. I felt a surge of happiness flow through me. _You’re a person_.   
      “Uh, they’re not very good but go ahead. The first few pages weren’t me, they were someone else. It’s all just still-life. Though some of it’s from memory” I said, handing it over to her. “The animals don’t like to sit still for long.” They all flipped through my book and I went red every time they complimented something. After a minute or so, Farlan handed the book back to me.   
      “You’re really good.” He said with a smile.   
      “Eh, thanks. It’s not something I do a lot anymore. I used to have loads of free time so it was something to fill the days, that and practising with my guitar.” I missed my guitar; I had left it behind in the cave when Erwin found me. Maybe I could find it again when we went on an expedition.   
      “You’ve got a lot of drawings of one wolf in there.” Levi observed. “Who is it?” Just like when Erwin, all those months ago, acknowledged Greyjoy’s personhood to me, it made me feel happy when Levi acknowledged the obvious connection I had to the wolf in the drawings.   
      “Um, that’s Greyjoy. He was… He was a pretty special friend.” I sighed.   
      “You’ve drawn him at least ten times.”   
      “Yeah. I got the feeling that his mortality was running out so if he died before I did, I’d have stuff to remember him by. I mean, I’ve got this too.” WHY WAS I TELLING THEM THIS? AM I THAT COMFORTABLE AROUND THEM? After that sobering thought, I hesitated in revealing Greyjoy’s huge tooth. My hand had already reached for my neck and their eyes had followed it. _You may as well show them now_. I pulled the tooth out from beneath my shirt and showed it to them. They stared at it.   
      “That’s a really big tooth…” Isabel gazed at it wide eyed.   
      “Yeah, he was a big wolf. Twice the size of a horse.”   
      “Twice the size of a horse!?” Farlan exclaimed.   
      “Yeah, he was probably the last of his kind. I never met any other animals like him when we were out hunting or whatever.” Levi looked at me, his eyes almost suspicious.   
      “Where are you from?” I’d forgotten that they didn’t know. It was refreshing that they didn’t judge me and call me outsider though. Should I lie? I nervously scratched the back of my neck, fingering the ridged scar that formed the 'O'.   
      “It’s a simple question.” Levi continued, his eyes definitely narrowed in suspicion. I sighed.   
      “The outside.” They blinked for a moment or two.   
      “The outside?” Farlan repeated. “As in…”   
      “Outside the walls?” Isabel interjected. “Outside Wall Maria?” I nodded reluctantly.   
      “Wait, so you lived in the forest on the outside? Weren’t there Titans everywhere?”   
      “And bandits.” I pointed out. “Never forget the bandits.”   
      “What can bandits do? We can just kill them!” Isabel insisted with a roguish grin. I sobered up immediately.   
      “You’d honestly be surprised at what bandits can do, Isabel.” My serious tone attracted their attention. “I’m going to be honest here. I had more trouble from bandits than I did Titans.” I really didn’t want to talk about it anymore so I walked over to the stool and kicked it over, sending the spider flying. I stamped on it quickly, leaving a small mess of legs on the floor.   
      “If we don’t clean this place up soon, we’ll never get round to training.” I said, my voice surprisingly detached and cold.   
      “Let’s get back to work.” Levi said, thankfully agreeing. I appreciated that he realised I didn’t want to talk about the outside anymore. It didn’t take us long to get the entire room cleaned after that, though two hours was enough to make us miss some training. We stood by the door triumphant.   
      “And Isabel and I aren’t even going to be sleeping in here. You lucky men.” I grumbled.   
      “If we have time, we’ll clean the woman’s room too.” Levi said and Farlan and Isabel groaned.   
      “I don’t think we will. You guys want to train a little bit today, right?” I said.   
      “Yeah! I want to ride the horses!” Isabel cheered.   
      “Well, if we get down there, we can make it for the last hour or so before mealtime.” I assured her. We put our cleaning stuff away and headed down.   
      “So, how long have you been here again, Rhia?” Farlan asked as we walked down some stairs.   
      “Just three months. I was in Sodom’s squad before this, and Keith’s squad before that. Keith, or the Commander who introduced you all today, surprised me with the sudden rearrangement.”   
      “Yeah, it sounded like he threatened Flagon about your safety. Or was that just me?”   
      “I got that idea as well.” Isabel said.   
      “Well, Keith was one of the only people who didn’t judge me as soon as I walked in. People weren’t exactly… kind in my first few weeks here.”   
      “What? Why not? You seem nice. Or are you holding out on us before you cut our throats?” I laughed and shook my head.   
      “Farlan, has anyone told you how odd you are?” He rubbed his neck sheepishly. “No, a lot of rumours started up because I was from the outside. Some rumours said that I didn’t know how to speak, others said that I beat some girl up. There was a girl called Winnie who particularly loathed me, though I’m not sure why. I’m sure it’s my charisma or my considerate nature.” Isabel and Farlan laughed while Levi smirked. It seemed like he didn’t laugh too much, but at least I amused him.   
      “What happened?” My back stung a little and I reached back to scratch it lightly.   
      “Some bullying really. It wasn’t anything huge.” I wasn’t going to tell them about that. They’d find out eventually, probably from Hanji and her big mouth, but I wasn’t going to tell them myself.   
      “Where is she now? We can go kill her if you want!” Isabel offered, positively delighted at the prospect of killing someone.   
      “If I could kill her, I would have done. But no, you can’t kill her. She’s in prison at the moment along with a few other people.”   
      “In prison? Was the bullying that bad?” _Yes, it really was_.   
      “It was at the time, I guess, but looking back it’s not so bad. Turned out she had a pretty shady past anyway. I just wish Jayden had gone with them.”   
      “Who’s Jayden?” Levi questioned.   
      “One of the guys from Keith’s squad, though he was moved to another one. He was one of the people who used to participate in… in the bullying. He wasn’t allowed to touch me or go near me, though that expires in a few days, yippee for me.”   
      “What, like a restraining order? That sounds pretty serious.” _It was_.   
      “Meh, it’s fine now. I’m just going to steer clear of him.” Jayden, I’ll be honest, fucking terrified me. He reminded me far too much of some of the bandits that were outside and, unfortunately, still breathing.   
      "What about friends? Who do you hang around with?" Farlan changed the subject, seeing how uncomfortable I was.   
      "Uh, I suppose I'm friends with a few people. Dana, Harry, Krestian and Hanji are the only people I ever talk to but I don't actively hang around with them. I sort of... stay by myself really."   
      "Why don't you sit with them?" Isabel asked.   
      "They've all got different friendship groups, if you will. I'm not really friends with the rest of their groups so I just save myself the embarrassment and leave them to it."   
      "I was wondering why you were the only person sitting alone in the cafeteria." Farlan observed.   
      "Well, I'm used to it anyway."   
      "You'll be sitting with us this time, right?" Isabel pressed. I blinked at her.   
      "Uh, sure. If you want me to, I guess. I don't want to intrude-"   
      "You won't." Levi spoke up. _Oh. Well that's nice._ We reached the training grounds.   
      “Horses over there. 3DMG training over there.” I pointed to each station. Isabel bounded over to the horses immediately where Cayla, I think her name was, was instructing.   
      “Are you training with us?” Levi asked, turning to me.   
      “No, I’ve got more cleaning duties.” I sighed. “I can only handle enough cleaning in one day.”   
      “Just come and train with us. You’ll be getting stronger.” Farlan encouraged.   
      “I would but I’ve shirked my duties before and the punishment hurts like fuck, so I’d rather not. I’ll see you guys at dinner anyway.” I waved them off and made my way to the bathroom where I’d be mopping up floors for the next hour.   
      “She swears more than you do, Levi, I think that’s a first.” I heard Farlan say as I walked off.   
      “Hm.”   
      “And she likes cleaning a lot.”   
      “Your point?”   
      “Do I have to say it?” I walked out of earshot so I couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation. It made me go a little red though, I’ll admit.

      The next hour was unbelievably dull and I was absolutely sweltering in the steaming bathroom. By the time I was finished, it was halfway through mealtime. Flagon took his time inspecting but eventually said it was acceptable. I practically ran out of there, happy for the cool air on my skin. It was dark now and the moon was out as I walked towards the cafeteria, my jacket hooked on my finger over my shoulder. So, I’d officially made new friends. That was nice. And they were people who I could hang around with every day, though I was still scared they’d get sick of me. I walked into the cafeteria with a sigh. It was so loud and hot in there. I was tempted to grab my food and eat outside, but I’d see what the others wanted to do. I waved and smiled at my friends from Sodom’s squad and grabbed a sandwich. When I turned, Isabel was waving me over excitedly. Hoping that I wasn’t offending Harry, Dana or Krestian, I walked over and sat beside Levi.   
      “You’re late.” He observed.   
      “Flagon took his sweet time inspecting. That bathroom was polished to a fucking mint and he purposefully tried to make more mess. What a shit.”   
      “You know, you swear a lot.” Isabel pointed out, eating something that looked like jelly. “I’ve only heard big bro swear as much as you, but you’ve beaten him.” Big bro? Farlan looked at Levi pointedly and he ignored him.   
      “Yeah, Levi’s a sweary-mary too.”   
      “A sweary-mary? You come up with that all by yourself, Farlan?” I raised an eyebrow at him. He went pink and I laughed.   
      “Why’s it so hot?” Isabel moaned, lowering her head to the table.   
      “I was tempted to take my food outside. What do you guys think?” I suggested.   
      “We can go up to the roof!” Isabel declared happily, suddenly full of energy. “I’ll get the bottles!” She was off in a flash and I missed where she went.   
      “Bottles?” I enquired.   
      “Alcohol. Isabel likes rum and whiskey.” I blanched.   
      “Mixed together?”   
      “She says it tastes better that way.” Farlan explained.  
      “You don’t seem convinced.” I observed.   
      “It’s disgusting. I’ll have one or the other. Do you drink, Rhia?”   
      “On occasion. Tea is more my forte.” Farlan once again looked at Levi.   
      “Oh? So is Levi’s. He once beat this guy in an arm wrestle just for some rare tea leaves.” I chuckled.   
      “You say that like it’s a bad thing. I’d kick the shit out of a man if it meant I could have rare tea.” Levi smirked at me. It seemed I was at last tapping into his type of humour; dark humour it is.   
      “Let’s go to the roof. Isabel will meet us there.” We got up and took our food with us, making our way outside, upstairs and onto the roof. I was used to the sky looking like this but I’d never been so high up or close to the sky.   
      “Wow…” I muttered as we approached the wall. We sat on it, Isabel on my right and Levi on my immediate left with Farlan on the other side of him.   
      “Does the sky look just as pretty outside, Rhia?” Isabel asked, taking a swig on the whiskey, which abruptly destroyed the childish image that she was portraying with her curious question and impish appearance. She passed the bottle to me as I looked at the sky.   
      “I’ve looked up at the sky countless times while I was outside. But I’ve never been this close to it.” I drank some of the whiskey and ignored the burn in my throat. I preferred tea but whiskey was nice.   
      “There’s a few spots that I had reserved specially for stargazing,” I continued, handing the bottle to Levi. “There’s a grassy hill that’s secluded near the forest I lived in that’s nice for it. You can lay on your back and watch the stars all night, but you can’t fall asleep obviously. Just in case.” Levi sipped the whiskey and passed it on to Farlan. “There’s also a lake that’s got a waterfall that feeds water into it. A little further down the lake, there’s a mountain of rocks with one big flat one on the top. That’s one of my favourite spots to stargaze. You’ve got the faint sound of the waterfall in the background and you can see millions and millions of stars right above you.” I was aware of how silly I sounded and sighed. “Sorry. Sorta miss it, I guess.”   
      “I wanna go outside.” Isabel said. “If we go outside, will you take us to your stargazing spots?” I looked at her. She watched me with a hopeful gaze. I felt Farlan and Levi watching me too.   
      “I’d like to,” I said, as I turned back to the city. “If we find ourselves nearby either of those spaces, I’ll take you three there. Us trash have to stick together.” I felt more than saw their smiles.   
      “I’d like that.” Isabel mumbled.   
      “Same.” Farlan replied.   
      “Hmm.” Levi hummed in agreement. It looked like we were officially friends. The stars blinked on at us as I felt a little more content with life. 

 


	5. Communal Training

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every Scout of every squad participates in training several days after the new recruits' arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains brief mentions of rape.

      Almost a week had passed and today was supposed to be communal training. Different squads would train together through the use of 3DMG, hand to hand combat, shooting and riding. We all lined up in the courtyard for our timetables. The purpose of the system today was for people in different squads to socialise and strike up alliances and reinforce the comradery between Scouts. I collected my timetable and went to a space of my own in a corner. I was disappointed that I didn’t have the 3DMG today, because that was one of my favourites, but I had shooting, then riding and then hand to hand, though I think the hand to hand was for everyone. Isabel came running over with her timetable in hand.   
      “Hey, Rhia! What have you got today?” She yelled, bouncing up and down in front of me.   
      “Shooting, riding and hand to hand.” I said.   
      “Aww, I got 3DMG first, then riding and then hand to hand.” She looked disappointed.   
      “We’ve got riding and hand to hand together though. That’s something at least.” Next was Farlan.   
      “I’ve got riding and shooting and then some cleaning duties? What the hell?” He complained. “Hand to hand last but I’ll be late to that. Did I do something wrong?”   
      “Farlan, you still haven’t got the salute right, that’s probably why.” He groaned in response. “Here, like this.” I demonstrated the salute. “Your left arm goes behind your back and your hands are in a fist. Try it.” He copied me. “Good. Your right arm crosses over your front and your hand turns into a fist by your heart.” He copied me again. “Exactly. Just remember that. The whole thing for the fist of the heart is that you’re supposed to be dedicated to the legion and give your heart for it. It’s a bit cheesy, but there we are.” Farlan repeated the salute a few times before sighing.   
      “I’ll probably forget it again.” Levi, at last, headed over with his usual glum expression.   
      “Big bro, what have you got?” Isabel asked.   
      “Shooting, 3DMG and hand to hand.” He said.   
      “You’re with me for shooting then.” I informed him, looking at my timetable again. I was going to be in the same training squad as Jayden at some point, I just knew it.   
      “You feeling alright for today, Rhia? Today’s the expiry date for the restraining order, isn’t it?” Farlan pointed out.   
      “Yeah. I mulled it over last night and figured it can’t be that bad. I’ve beaten him in hand to hand before and I’m the current champion of my classes for it. But I’ve never seen you guys train before, so who knows? That may change.”   
      “We’ll just have to see. But keep away from Jayden, yeah? If he gives you any trouble, find us. Or Keith, you’re his favourite, so he’d be your best bet for quick results.” I laughed.   
      “Keith doesn’t have favourites.” I dismissed. “He hates everyone equally.”   
      “He checks up on you with Flagon.” Isabel interjected. “Didn’t you know?” I blinked.   
      “Uh, no… Hm, odd.”   
      “We should head to training.” Levi decided. “Let’s go, Rhia.” I nodded and said goodbye to Isabel and Farlan before following him. “Have you ever shot a gun before?” He asked as we walked.   
      “I’ve shot a rifle once when I was younger. We found one by a dead hunter so I gave it a shot. From what I remember, I wasn’t very good, though I was only thirteen or so at the time. Mum was still alive anyway, so I was still a kid. We also did a bit of training when I first got here so I know my way around a musket and a revolver. How about you?”   
      “I’ve had my fair share.”   
      “Musket?”   
      “Musket, rifle, revolver. Down in the underground, it’s safer to stick with knives though. Less noise.”   
      “I can appreciate that.” We came to the shooting grounds. There were targets at the far end of the dirt courtyard and different guns lined up.   
      “Don’t fuck up.” Levi muttered with a small smirk.   
      “Thanks for the vote of confidence.” I chuckled back. The instructor was someone I didn’t recognise.   
      “SCOUTS!”   
      “SIR!”   
      “We’ll be shooting today. Our weapons are as follows: shotguns, revolvers, rifles, one-shot muskets and rapid-fire muskets.” _Don’t embarrass yourself_. “You four! Line up with a revolver on the line closest to the targets.” Looking at the floor, I noticed faded painted lines on the ground. These marked out the optimum distance for using each particular gun. Four of the group loaded their revolvers and lined up. They all hit the target, thankfully, though only one hit a fatal point on the body.   
      “Next! You four!” And this kept going on and on. Levi went up before me and he nailed the head easily.   
      “Next!” My turn. I walked up and one of the others handed me their revolver. I reloaded and stood on the line. I cocked the gun and aimed at as carefully at the target as I could. I wasn’t on the same target as Levi and there were no headshots on this target yet. I wanted to be the first.   
      “Fire!” I squeezed the trigger and there was a hole right between the crudely painted eyes on the target. It was nice to know that if I only had a gun, I could still kill with precision. I walked back and handed the revolver to someone else and stood beside Levi.   
      “Not bad.” He muttered, which was a huge compliment from him.   
      “You’re not so bad yourself.” I replied under my breath. He huffed a chuckle and we waited for further instruction.   
      “Next! Shotgun! Begin again, this time at the next line!” People were more accurate with the shotgun as the spray of bullets made it practically impossible to miss the target. The recoil however made the shot buck up or to the side, so not many people got a clear and precise shot of the target. Levi went up and he got the head pretty well. I recalled him listing the guns he’d shot with before and the shotgun had not featured on that list. Levi, like me, was a natural at killing people. I went up and breathed slowly. I’d never used a shotgun before either so this could be interesting. I doubted I could hit the head if I aimed straight it; the buck of the gun simply wouldn’t allow it. I aimed carefully at the neck instead.   
      “Fire!” The shotgun recoiled a lot but I managed to get a pretty solid hit on the head which I was proud of. We did the one-shot muskets and the same people got head shots. The targets were replaced with new ones after that so we had clean ones to shoot now. As far as I could tell, only Levi and I got consistent head shots but some others, like Aururo from Hanji’s friendship group, got a few headshots and a decent heartshot or two. I noticed Levi watching everyone very carefully as we shot. When I came back from the rapid-fire musket shooting, I asked him about it.   
      “I’m looking for potential allies. In case things don’t work out with our plan.” I still didn’t know what the plan was, and I’ll admit, I was getting a little curious about it. I didn’t know what it involved, but I know that Erwin featured somewhere in it. I didn’t ask though.   
      “Who’ve you got so far?” I asked, speaking lowly since the instructor didn’t appreciate idle chatter.   
      “You, obviously.” Aww, yay. “Aururo over there. I’ve heard good things about Erd from another squad. Your friend Harry seems very able as well.” I felt bad that I’d neglected Harry, Dana, Hanji and Krestian in the past few days, though it was unavoidable. It was harder to socialise with people in other squads, which was the whole point of today, but none of them were in my group for shooting. We moved onto rifle shooting. Like I told Levi earlier, I wasn’t very good with it when I was younger, but who knows? Maybe I’d improve suddenly. Levi, once again, got a clear headshot and he ignored the shocked and awed looks of other people.   
      “Do they have to stare?” He muttered as we passed each other on the way. I managed not to laugh as I was handed a rifle and I took my position on the line. No headshots on my target again. I really wanted the damn headshot this time. Or a heartshot. That may be safer. The rifle was going to buck a lot more than the shotgun, I’d noticed that from people stumbling back after shooting. I leaned right into the stock and looked through the scope. It seemed easy enough but going from past experience, it’d be hard. I aimed at the neck again, like I had done for the shotgun, and held my aim steady. The sway of the weapon was annoying.   
      “Fire!” I shot. The rifle was smoking a little and I lowered it. The shot was a little high on the target but it was still a headshot. It was very hard not to smile at that but I managed to keep a straight face as I walked back to Levi. I handed someone else the rifle and sighed with relief when I was away from the stares of people.   
      “I see what you mean, people staring is a little weird.” I mumbled. When the final shots were made and everyone was in the line, the instructor stepped up again.   
      “You’ve all made valuable progress and we’ve taken record of which guns your strength lies with. For some, you work best with guns for close targets, like the revolver and shotgun. Others are better with your sniping abilities. Even fewer showed a talent with all guns. You know who you are.” _Yes, we do_. “Shooting is dismissed.” I expected to be told to salute, but that was Keith’s thing.   
      “I’ve got riding with Isabel now.” I told Levi as we walked towards the central courtyard again. Horse riding and 3DMG were right next to each other and often combined. I assumed that we’d be doing some running and then using 3DMG to get off and jump back on the horse. I hoped so anyway.   
      “3DMG for me.” Farlan came into sight and walked over to us.   
      “How was shooting?” He asked, looking a little sore.   
      “It’s fine. You’ll pick it up quickly.” Levi assured him. “What’s wrong with you?”   
      “I just had riding. We just did some galloping, which was fine, and then we had to do some jumping over hurdles.” He groaned. “Which hurts a lot, by the way. Then we had 3DMG which hurts if you land wrong. But the jumping is the worst.” Aw, shit. I sighed.   
      “Brilliant, that’s what I’ve got next. I’ve never jumped on a horse before.”   
      “Pfft, good luck then.” Farlan said, clapping us both on the shoulder before heading off to shooting.   
      “Looking forward to riding now?” Levi teased.   
      “Piss off.” I muttered. When we arrived, 3DMG was right next to the riding, and both courses went further into the forest for obstacles. We nodded at each other as we parted and Isabel bounced up to me, as usual.   
      “Rhia, how was shooting?” She asked.   
      “It was fine. Pretty fun actually. I’m looking forward to riding but Farlan said it hurts.” I explained.   
      “I’ve ridden horses plenty of times, it only hurts if you do it wrong.” She smiled.   
      “That’s reassuring.” I mumbled and we lined up. The instructor was Cayla, the same girl who had been instructing Isabel a few days before.   
      “Alright, everyone.” Cayla was new to the job of being an instructor, but she was kinder than the average person. “You should all have an assigned horse already so find them and take them to the docks there to saddle them.” I smiled at Isabel before going to find Uno. I had been tempted to name him after Greyjoy but I met him and decided not to. There’s only one Greyjoy, and besides, Uno was a dark plum-ish brown, almost a black. I didn’t know what breed he was but he was considerably faster and stronger than the average horse. When I was assigned to him, he was one of the newer horses that had barely been broken in yet. Though I’d never ridden a horse before, I used my experience with Greyjoy to calm him down and talk to him. Of course, he wasn’t as intelligent as Greyjoy, but he understood certain commands and had a wicked temper on anyone who got too close to him that wasn’t me. When I approached him, he bucked his head a little but calmed down when I placed a hand on his neck.   
      “Ssh, Uno. How’s life in the stables?” Though I knew he would never answer me like Greyjoy would, I still asked him questions and spoke to him. It helped to build a friendship and it was working well so far. He wasn’t saddled yet but I led him by his rope bridle to a space outside of the paddock. When we got to the saddle docks, I found our stuff and started getting him ready. He was usually impatient but today, he was surprisingly docile.   
      “You’re acting odd today, Uno.” I observed, fixing his bridle and leading him outside again. We all arranged ourselves in a line and Cayla stood in front of us with her own horse, Layla. I cringed when I found out that she’d basically named her horse after herself and I still cringed every time she said her name.   
      “Okay, we’re going to warm up the horses. We’ll do a walk, a trot, a canter and a gallop. After that, we’ll move onto some jumps.” I noticed Isabel down the line was looking very confident with her horse, Dredge. Dredge was one of the best horses and Isabel was one of the best riders, so I looked forward to watching her ride. It went down the line, as always, and one person at a time exercised their horse. Isabel was relaxed on Dredge and everything she did seemed to come so easily to her. If we were being marked on keeping the horse calm during warm ups, she’d get a ten.   
      “Rhia, you’re up with Uno.” Was it me already? I nodded and led Uno over to the paddock and climbed onto him. Riding a horse was different to riding a wolf, I can tell you. When I first rode Uno, I was very cautious and the saddle was uncomfortable. I never needed reins, stirrups or a saddle with Greyjoy so it took me a little while to get used to them. But three months on from training with Uno, it felt practically natural. Because of his docile nature today, Uno was easy to control and he settled into the different gaits comfortably. After warming him up, I slid off Uno and led him back to the line. A few more people went and then we started the jumps. Two people jumped at a time, so I’d be jumping with one of Jayden’s friends, Moseis. I really wasn’t looking forward to it, as Moseis was similar to Caleb; a follower who enjoyed what he watched that night. I began to get nervous the closer it got to me. Isabel was flawless when jumping, of course, and she showed everyone up. She was proud of herself as well and I gave her a thumbs up. She grinned toothily and returned to the line. Eventually, it got to me and Moseis. He smirked at me as he climbed onto his horse and I climbed onto mine. Knowing him, he’d collide with me on purpose.   
      “Alright, you know the drill, go for the smallest jump and make your way though the higher jumps.” All the hurdles were scattered and there was a mixture of jumps with one bar, three bars, a wall, cross bars and others. I didn’t go riding all that often so I didn’t know very much about the types of jumps. These hurdles were also noticeably longer to enable up to three jumpers at a time.   
      “Start small and finish with the highest jump please. Go through every single one. The first one back wins.” Fuck. Okay. I’d never jumped on a horse before. Shit.   
      “Okay, Uno, you’ve really got to help me out here.” I muttered down to his ear. “I’ve never jumped before. I need your fire back.” He didn’t respond except for a twitch of his ear. When Greyjoy did that, that usually meant he agreed or that he was listening. When Uno did that, I had no clue.   
      “Riders, get ready.” Fuuuuck. Uno lowered himself slightly. Was he getting ready?   
      “Go!” Cayla called and we set off at a gallop. I didn’t know how to ready myself for the jump so I went with what felt natural when Greyjoy jumped. The first jump was the lowest and Uno could practically step over it when we got to it, but I raised myself a little bit, just as I would with Greyjoy. As long as I bounced with the jump and impact, I shouldn’t do too much damage. We cleared the next jump and the next after that, and then there was a jump with the bars arranged in a cross. Moseis looked at me as we approached it and I knew we’d have to compete for it.   
      “Come on, Uno, show your fire.” I whispered. I almost laughed with delight and relief when Uno charged forwards and nearly knocked into Moseis. We jumped over it easily and ran around the edge of the fence before turning back to clear the next one. This one was a wall, though it was made of some sort of lightweight material that made it easy to fall over. We’d left Moseis behind in the dust as we finished the course. We came to a stop and it took another few seconds for Moseis to join us. He scowled at me as we dismounted and walked back to the line.   
      “Rhia is the clear winner there.” Cayla laughed. I snatched an apple up from the snack table and fed it to Uno.   
      “Good boy. You always pull through when I need you to.” I smiled and he ate the apple with glee. The rest of the line finished their jumping and we moved onto 3DMG. The basic gist of this was to take off from the horse, ‘kill’ the Titan and land safely back on the horse while it was still galloping. I’d made it my mission a few weeks ago to master putting on the equipment as fast as possible so I had it on in a matter of seconds. You always have to be prepared, after all. We went one at a time this time and Isabel stood next to me.   
      “That jumping was so much fun.” She whispered happily. “The riding is my favourite.”   
      “I can see why.” I mused. “You’re a pro at it, Isabel.” She went a little pink at the compliment.   
      “Thanks, Rhia.” I smiled back.   
      “No problem.” Isabel went up for her 3DMG round and she was great at it. She made it seem so easy. It helped that she had a great connection with Dredge, one that wasn’t unlike my friendship with Greyjoy. I’d heard her talking to him a few times and I smiled. Isabel and Greyjoy would have gotten along really well. When she came back after a huge success in taking off from the horse and landing back on him, she gave me a high five and I was called to the front.   
      “You know the drill, Rhia. Take off, do a slash on the Titan form, land back on the horse.” I nodded and set off. The queue of Scouts with their horses were lined up along the course, so they could see the whole thing. Uno ran faster than I’d seen him run, which was making it a little difficult, but I deployed the wires and shot off of him. He followed behind though the equipment made me travel faster than him. As I neared the Titan, he turned back to run to the start again. I got in close and span, slashing the cushion that posed as the nape of the neck as deeply as I could, and then turned and moved quickly back towards Uno. The landing was always painful and Isabel had given me a few tips beforehand. _Cushion your fall by bending your legs. Aim your feet for the stirrups so you can do that_. Easier said than done, but I attempted it anyway. I came flying in from above and released the harpoons, now dropping onto Uno. I managed to get one foot into the stirrups but the other kicked up a little, earning me a rather hefty knock on my thigh from the saddle. I grunted with the impact but had landed safely on Uno. We came to a stop by Cayla and she nodded in approval.   
      “You need to work on your landing a little, but the rest of your riding is good.” I thanked her and dismounted, leading him back the line. It wasn’t long before we were dismissed and sent to the Arena for hand to hand, the stable hands taking care of our horses. Usually, the fighting session took place in late afternoon into the evening, much like it had done on my first day. But today, the sun was high in the sky and we’d be fighting outside. The Arena wasn’t the only fighting area, of course, but that was where we had sports events, contests and things like that. Usually, there were tournaments in there for archery and fighting, but I never entered them. Tournaments were created about a year ago apparently to keep morale high and bring everyone together, and occasionally, people from the Stationary Corps or the Military Police joined us. From all the communal events the Scouting Legion hosted, it seemed suspicious. Perhaps it was paranoia or perhaps there was an underlying tension between the different corps that I had yet to pick up on. _You know, I wish I’d been in the Military Police… More opportunities for torture, I’m sure_. I shuddered as I recalled Jayden’s words that night. I’d have to be fighting against him today, I was certain, and I wasn’t looking forward to it. The more I thought about it, the more likely it seemed that he would pull a dirty trick or ‘accidentally’ break my arm. You’ll just have to get in there first. You can do this.   
      “Hey, Rhia, you okay? You seem a little pale.” Isabel observed with some concern.   
      “Yeah, I’m fine. Just not looking forward to meeting Jayden on the courtyard.” I muttered, shrugging it off.   
      “You’ll do fine. You’re the champion, right?”   
      “Pfft, I guess. But with you guys here, who knows? Maybe one of you will beat me. I wouldn’t mind if you did, by the way.” Isabel laughed.   
      “Eh, I’m alright at it. Big bro’s the best out of us three and he’s never been beaten, so maybe you’ll have competition!” We arrived at the outside courtyard where all the other Scouts had already accumulated. I frowned. We were gathered around one court. Keith Shadis stood in the middle.   
      “SCOUTS!”   
      “SIR!” I looked around for Farlan to see if he got the salute right but then remembered that he was cleaning up for that very reason. Poor Farlan.   
      “Today, we have every Scout gathered here to test their mettle in the hand to hand combat session. We have one Scout here who has managed to beat almost all of you at least once. Rhia, come here.” What was he doing? I walked into the middle of the court and stood beside him anyway.   
      “We’re going to do something a bit different today.” Keith continued. “Rhia will fight every single one of you until one of you beats her. If you beat her, you become the new champion. Questions?” Hesitating, I raised my hand. He seemed surprised.   
      “What?”   
      “Since I’ll be fighting at least fifty people, will I get any breaks at all?” It sounded stupid as soon as it left my mouth. I regretted it and waited for his shouting. But it didn’t come.   
      “Every fifteen people you beat, you get a two minute rest.” Oh. Maybe if someone else had asked that, he would have shouted. Was Farlan right about the favouritism?   
      “ _If_ you beat fifteen people in a row, that is.” Ah, there we go. “We’ll see. The newest recruits will go last. Perhaps they can bring something new to the table. Up first, the previous champion. Hanji.” Oh, this could be a fun warm up. Keith walked to the side as Hanji walked on with a smile on her face.   
      “Here we are again, huh, Rhia?” She grinned.   
      “Are you ready for me to beat you up again?” I teased.   
      “I’d consider it an honour.” She replied with a wink. I’d missed Hanji, I realised.   
      “Take your positions!” She was offensive again, so I took up the defensive. “FIGHT!” Hanji came running over, kicking her leg up to try and get me down quickly. I ducked, thanks to my tiny size, and I did the same move that I’d used on her the first time we fought. I crouched lower and launched myself into air, kicking her in the jaw and sending her into the ground again. She hadn’t been expecting it so soon apparently and I got her into a headlock quickly. She nodded at Keith.   
      “WINNER. RHIA. NEXT OPPONENT. RAL.” Hanji shook my hand as she left and small, sweet, pretty Petra came on. I’d fought her before and she was quick, but her hair often got in her way. She went down after a few minutes though, and so it went on and on. At fifteen people, I got a break and I drank some water and stretched a little as other people fought. When Harry beat Gunther, I was called back in to fight Harry.   
      “It’s been a little while, Rhia.” Harry observed, his fists bandaged like they usually were when he was fighting. Looking at them, I decided that I needed a pair of gloves at some point to lessen the blow for myself when I punched but increase the impact on my target. He got in a few good hits but I managed to kick his ankles out from beneath him and hold him down in a chokehold. Even with his strength, he couldn’t break it and he hit the ground twice with his palm to signal he was out. I let him up and he clapped me on shoulder, a little red from the choke.   
      “Still the best, I see.” He grinned and went back to the crowd. Dana came up after another five people and I beat her down far too easily. It worried me that she never tried in hand to hand and I made a mental note to have a chat with her about that. Krestian volunteered when she was out and came skipping on.   
      “Long time no see, huh?” He goaded with a cheeky grin.   
      “Yeah, it’s been a while since I kicked your arse, Krestian.” I retorted with a smile of my own.   
      “We’ll see!” And then he was charging. And then he was on the floor. And then he was out. I smiled at him when he walked off with a sore shoulder.   
      “Jeez, you hit hard…” He muttered as he walked off. I went through the next eight people quickly, and the next fifteen until it was seven people left. Jayden, Caleb, Moseis, Erd, Isabel, Farlan (who had arrived about halfway through) and Levi. Moseis came up first and it didn’t take long at all to beat him to the ground. I didn’t hold back on Caleb either, giving him a black eye and a cracked tooth. I had a feeling that people noticed that I was being brutal with these guys in particular. I heard a few whispers and the word ‘revenge’ circulated quite a bit. It _was_ revenge though. And I didn’t mind everyone knowing that.   
      “Holf. You’re next.” Jayden was so happy at this that he cracked his knuckles with a laugh.   
      “Rhia. You’re looking well.” He taunted nastily.   
      “Better than you.” I remarked, clicking my neck.   
      “How’s your back? Still sore?” That fucker.   
      “Not as sore as you’re going to be when I beat you into the dirt.” Man, comebacks were rolling off my tongue so easily today.   
      “FIGHT!” Jayden didn’t charge this time. He hung back a little, making his way over to me carefully. I skirted around him though, anxious not to let him get too close. His arms were even bigger than when I last saw them. If he managed to get me between those arms, he could crack my ribs with a squeeze. _That’s not going to happen. You’ll finish him._ The disembodied voice that crept up every now and then sure had sadistic tendencies. It was worrisome sometimes, but it was finely tuned to instinct, so I listened to it when I could. He came in quickly with a heavy boot but I managed to shove it past my face and I jabbed at his ribs with my knuckles. I pivoted and spun so I was behind him and elbowed him as hard as I could between the shoulderblades. He stumbled and grabbed my wrist, spinning me around and kicking me as hard as he could in my back. The wounds had not fully healed so I screamed in pain as that fucker laughed. He yanked my arm again, pulling me in close to trap me inside those huge arms. I threw my knee up into his gut and brought my fists down as hard as I could on his back. He doubled over and I curled my fingers in his hair and yanked his head down by those messy tendrils into my knee. I heard his nose break and I roundhouse kicked him onto his back. His nose was bleeding heavily and before he could kick my legs out from beneath me, I crawled over him and crossed his arms over his chest and flattened his palms against the dirt. It was difficult for even him to break that hold but I quickly punched him in the nose again to stop his squirming. He howled and I turned him onto his stomach and held him a chokehold. _You could kill him now. You could choke the life out of him for what he did_. God, I wanted to. I wanted to watch the life leave his eyes when he realised that he couldn’t beat me and that he’d never beat me. But that wasn’t how humans behaved inside the walls. I had to be civilised and I had to learn to forgive and forget. Well, I wouldn’t forgive him, and I would never forget thanks to those scars that still wrote ‘Outsider’, plain to see. But I wouldn’t kill him either. I prayed the Titans would get him instead. I straightened up after his face went purple and took a few steps away to show that I wasn’t, in fact, going to murder him in front of everyone. He massaged his neck and choked in air, fisting his hands in the dirt.   
      “You almost killed me!” He roared.   
      “I’d say you’re pretty lucky that I didn’t.” I growled. Jayden huffed and stood, storming over to me to punch me probably.   
      “HOLF!” Keith shouted. He stopped, his hand pulled back to try and hit me. Even if he did throw the punch, I could dodge and retaliate easily.   
      “YOU’VE BEEN BEATEN. TAKE IT LIKE A MAN AND GO BACK TO THE SPECTATING AREA.” Jayden was absolutely fuming but he obeyed and stalked off, pushing through the crowd and Caleb, Moseis and some others followed him. I, however, managed to control my emotions and remained nonchalant, adopting a Levi-like expression of indifference, which I was quite proud of.   
      “JINN. YOU’RE UP.” I beat Erd pretty quickly and he returned to Hanji and the others after nodding respectfully to me.   
      “MAGNOLIA.” Ohh, yay! She came skipping onto the courtyard with a smile so big it could have torn her face in two. But her brows were drawn in determination.   
      “Let’s see how you fare against us from the underground!” Isabel shouted.   
      “FIGHT!” She was fast and nimble, but after a few confrontations and some well-aimed kicks on both our behalf, I managed to flip her over and get her in a headlock.   
      “Aww, no fair.” She moaned but smiled anyway. “Alright, sir, I’m out!” She was just as happy as Dana was to be out, which was odd.   
      “MAGNOLIA. OFF. CHURCH. YOU’RE ON.” Farlan was more cautious than Isabel and more difficult to floor. In the end, I had to repeat the move that had been successful on Hanji. My boot caught him dangerously close to the eye and he went down. Upon helping him up, I quickly inspected his eye.   
      “Didn’t mean to get so close to your eye, Farlan, sorry.” He shrugged it off with a smile.   
      “Nah, it’s fine. I’ve had worse.” He walked off and joined Isabel and Levi. Levi was my final opponent and for some reason, I felt some apprehension well up inside me. I just had a feeling that Levi was good at hand to hand. Whether he was better than Hanji or me, though, remained to be seen.   
      “FINAL OPPONENT. LEVI.” Levi shucked his jacket and handed it to Farlan before walking on, rolling up his sleeves. I noticed that he wore leather fingerless gloves and I cursed inwardly. His punches were going to hurt. Seeing that he’d decided to lose the jacket, I threw mine off as well and rolled my own sleeves up. We didn’t speak.   
      “FIGHT!” We were both in a defensive position and it looked like Levi wouldn’t go into offensive any time soon. I waited him out for a minute or so as we circled each other until Keith got impatient.   
      “ATTACK!” We both flew into offensive at the same time. He certainly was better than Hanji. He hit me hard across the jaw and I returned in kind with a swipe at his neck. He tried to hit me again but I blocked it with my elbow and moved in, shoving my hip into his gut. He grunted and spun me around so my back was against his chest, enclosing his arms around me and throwing me to the right. I rolled to my feet and ran back in. After a few punches and kicks that made their marks, I slung my arms around his neck and tucked my feet under me, kicking them out into his chest. It sent him backwards but he was immediately back with a kick to my face. I narrowly dodged it (very narrowly) and decided it couldn’t hurt to try kick in the air again. I crouched and leaped into the air, driving my foot into his cheek. Or, I would have done, if he hadn’t have shoved it away and punched me in the gut while I was still in the air. I went rolling through the dirt and I scrambled to my feet again. He was the first person I’d encountered who knew how to block that move. It wasn’t the only way to block it, as I’d met people who knew how to do the kick as well, and I’d blocked it in different ways. Only a few people knew how to do that kick, and even fewer knew how to block it. It appeared that Levi was one of those select few. He kept his distance this time and we were both clearly out of breath. People were talking about how Levi managed to block the kick and I managed an exhausted smile at my opponent. He returned it in a very low-key way before beckoning me to try again.   
      Now, I had one move that I’d only tried five or six times before. It could be done in two ways with two different consequences. The essential gist of it is to hook your legs around your opponent’s neck and, using your momentum and strength, flip them to the ground. The first method ends in death. If you hook your legs so that their neck is between your knees, you can jerk your legs enough to break their neck and flip their corpse over before moving onto your next target (if you’re skilled enough to land on your feet). The second method is to get their head between your thighs and flip them like that, though that’s definitely harder to get right and it’s even harder to land on your feet. The times that I’d done it, I’d landed on my opponent and gotten them into a chokehold with my thighs. It seemed a little inappropriate for training however, so I could feasibly shimmy down a little, pin his arms beneath my legs and have him in a chokehold. The move, executed in either way, was difficult, dangerous and it was astonishingly easy to get the wrong method. I had tried to simply incapacitate my opponent once and had accidentally broken their neck instead. I really _really_ didn’t want that to happen here. But then again, I’d succeeded in using the move at least four times without an incident like that. It often depended on how tall my opponent was and if they struggled when I made the jump. If I was fast enough though, I could do it.   
      After analysing all of that in about three seconds, I made the decision and sprinted towards him. I was about to jump when he kicked out. _Use it to push yourself up_. Thanks to that voice, I managed to jump and kick off of his leg to give me the momentum to close my legs around his neck. I didn’t catch his expression and I felt his hands rise to my hips to try and shove me off, but, thanks to the extra momentum his leg gave me, I twisted and flipped him over, though I did land on top of him. Before he could react, I yanked his hands off of my hips, moved down and trapped his wrists beneath my knees and pushed my hands down on his throat, enough for him to struggle to breathe a little. The courtyard was silent and even I was pretty shocked that I’d managed to do that. After a few seconds of us just staring at each in surprise, he spoke.   
      “I’m out.” He yelled loud enough for Keith to answer.   
      “FIGHT OVER.” I sat back again, taking a moment to recount what just happened in my head. I could hear the chatter and conversation amongst the Scouts, but I couldn’t define any words. It almost seemed surreal. _Why are you dwelling on this? You did the move. Yippee for you_. I wasn’t sure why I was so shocked that I’d made the move. It may have been the fact that I really didn’t want to end up killing Levi. My heart was still beating fast against my chest when I went through the fight in my mind. I’d never met someone who could fight so well or who could block that-   
      “You’re still sitting on me.” Levi interrupted my thoughts as he propped himself up on his elbows. I was still seated on his stomach.   
      “Oh, right, sorry.” I stood and offered my hand. He took it and I pulled him to his feet. We walked slowly and Keith joined us on the courtyard.   
      “LEVI. YOU’RE OFF.” I watched him walk back Farlan and Isabel and I almost smiled at them. “IT SEEMS WE STILL HAVE OUR DEFENDING CHAMPION.” Did he have to shout all the time? That was right in my ear…   
      “SCOUTS.”   
      “SIR!”   
      “DISMISSED.” Alright then. The rest of the day we had off. They’d intended for the hours that followed the communal training to be spent socialising with other squads and other corps, but that didn’t happen, of course. I stretched my arms as I grabbed my jacket from where I’d flung it and walked over to Levi, Isabel and Farlan.   
      “You really are a good fighter!” Isabel cooed with something that could almost have been admiration.   
      “Yeah, I’ve never seen anyone beat Levi before!” Farlan continued.   
      “Uh… Thanks. It’s really not that big…”   
      “It is.” Levi spoke up as we headed off to the cafeteria. “No-one has ever beaten me. You’re the first.” I blinked at him.   
      “Seriously? I’ve been beaten loads of times.”   
      “Have you?” Isabel asked.   
      “Well, I mean, it was outside the wall. I’ve been beaten by bandits before.”   
      “But you’re still here, right? You killed them in the end, right?” I clenched my jaw. _You’ve still got your job to do. You’ve still got to exterminate every last bandit, especially those six._  
      “Not all of them.” I muttered darkly. We lined up for our meal, only Farlan and Isabel really talking at all. I was silent from thinking about the bandits, but I didn’t know why Levi was. I wouldn’t ask though. I grabbed a sandwich and some tea and we sat down at an empty table. I nodded at Harry when we caught eye contact and he returned it.   
      “Today was _hard_.” Isabel whined, spooning her jelly into her mouth.   
      “That horse riding was terrible.” Farlan grumbled.  
      “Don’t be childish.” Levi reprimanded them both, sipping his tea. “This is what training is. We push ourselves to get better, just like the underground.”   
      “I just wanna go outside the walls already.” Isabel insisted. “Tell us more about it, Rhia. What’s it like?” I froze just as I was about to eat my sandwich.   
      “Uh…” I lowered it. “What do you want to know?”   
      “Anything.” Farlan said. That wasn’t a lot to go on…   
      “Well… The forest that I lived in was big. It had a lot of clearings in it but some parts were so dense that you couldn’t tell if it was day or night - I lost track of my own age pretty easily that way. In the summer, it could get cooler but when there was a heatwave, like we had last year, it gets stuffy and humid and you can barely breathe. You’d be surprised at how many bandits think it’s appropriate to run around practically naked in there.” Isabel giggled at that. “Hm, not a nice sight to see. When it’s winter though, that white stuff falls down and-”   
      “White stuff?” Farlan repeated. “You mean snow?”   
      “... What?”   
      “You said white stuff. Did you mean snow?”   
      “When I say white stuff, I mean the really cold bits of fluff that fall from the sky and freeze the lakes and make it really fucking difficult to hunt.”   
      “Yeah, that’s snow.” I didn’t have it in me to roll my eyes.   
      “Hm… Snow… When the snow falls, it covers everything inside and outside the forest. It makes hunting difficult and keeping warm is a problem, though it’s not one that I had that often because of Greyjoy. He passed away in early spring, just after the storm hit, so if he’d died before that, maybe in early winter, I probably would have died. Greyjoy’s fur was always warm and I never felt cold during the nights because of it.”   
      “Sounds like Greyjoy was really helpful.” Isabel observed.   
      “Yeah, he was. Erwin found me literally seconds after he died.”   
      “What happened to him?” I took a small bite of my sandwich and swallowed before speaking again.   
      “The night before, there’d been a bad storm. It was still a few miles off but the rain was enough to stop us from going after the bandits in the night. Maybe if we had done, Greyjoy wouldn’t have died. I don’t know.” I sighed. “I’ve thought about that so many times, trying to think of a way that could have saved him. Sorry, I’m getting off track. The next day we went hunting for the bandits. They took us by surprise though and they shot their crossbows. I was lucky and one only skimmed me, but they managed to get a bolt into Greyjoy’s flank. When we escaped into a clearing, Greyjoy collapsed and it turned out the bolt in his flank was poisoned.”   
      “Oh no…” I heard Isabel murmur.   
      “I ran to get an antidote from some weeds that grew around lakes. It took me around an hour to get back to him and when I did, he was surrounded by the fuckers who shot him. If I had a gun or a crossbow of my own, I may have been able to kill them all while I was running. I was still running towards him though when one of them stabbed him. He was trying to get the pelt. I killed him and then the rest of them before turning back to Greyjoy. I put the antidote on him, though it was too late, and… He died. I cut his tooth out, the one I showed you, and then Erwin came riding up.” They didn’t speak for a moment.   
      “What did he say?” Levi broke the silence. Well, the silence between us. Other people in the cafeteria were laughing and joking. Our table was the only one with an almost constant gloomy atmosphere.   
      “He asked me to join the Scouting Legion. Said that they could use my skills. I refused though and told him to go away so that I could bury Greyjoy.”   
      “And did he?”   
      “Yeah, he did. It shocked me but I buried him quickly and ran back to the cave.”   
      “So, you refused but you still joined up?” Farlan observed.   
      “Erwin found me three months later. I’d acted rashly and a Titan had cornered me in an open space, so I was practically dead anyway. I tried fighting it, and I almost had it, but it turned out it was an abnormal. It managed to jerk me off of its shoulder and it went to swallow me whole. Erwin, Mike and some other guy rode up whilst this was happening. It dropped me in its mouth and I thought I was dead. I’d tried to climb its tongue to escape and someone appeared at the fucker’s mouth and pulled me out. Turned out it was Erwin who had climbed into the Titan’s mouth, putting himself in harm’s way, and saved me. Mike put the Titan down and Erwin asked me to join again. After some negotiations, I agreed.”   
      “What did you negotiate?” Levi asked. He was oddly curious about what happened.   
      “I’ve got history with a lot of the bandits that are south of the wall, nearest to the Shiganshina district. I said that if he let me kill any bandits that I had history with, I’d join. He agreed and here I am.”   
      “Bandits that you have history with?” I swallowed.   
      “Yeah. Bandits I’d met before and never gotten the pleasure of killing.”   
      “Shit…” Farlan muttered. “You have a lot of enemies, huh?” I snorted a laugh.   
      “Yeah, you could say that. But I’ll kill them all for what they did.”   
      “What did they do?” Isabel asked, wide eyed. _Do not tell them what they did. Do not tell them what they did to you._ I realised that I must have looked like an idiot, my own eyes wide in panic and my body had frozen.   
      “Rhia? You okay?” Farlan cautiously placed a hand on my arm. I flinched.   
      “Don’t.” I mumbled. “There’re some things that I can’t… I can’t… Not yet. I’ll tell you eventually but… Give me a bit more time.” They respected that and backed off little.   
      “Sounds like you have a lot of secrets.” Levi said, sipping his tea again.   
      “Only two that I can think of. But… I guess they’re pretty big.”   
      “Well, one of them’s big, you scared me when you froze up like that.” Isabel said. I laughed sheepishly and rubbed my palms shakily.   
      “Yeah, sorry about that. I’m not really sure when I can tell you guys but… I will. I’m not very good at keeping my own secrets.” It was probably one of my fatal flaws. Eventually, everything about me would come spilling out for them to pick apart. _They won’t do that. They’re your friends_. I usually trusted that voice but when it came to things like this, I had a hard time listening.   
      “Don’t rush, ‘kay? Take your time!” Isabel assured me with a warm smile.   
      “Thanks.” I muttered, drinking my tea. “I appreciate it.” Once our meal was over, we headed to up to the barracks and talked a little more. When we realised that we were an hour late going to bed, we split off, Isabel and I continuing on to our room.   
      “Do you think we’ll go outside soon?” Isabel gushed.   
      “We haven’t had enough training. Another few months and we should do.”   
      “I can’t wait.” Isabel was on the top bunk and I was on the bottom bunk. We got changed in silence and we lay back on our beds. Everyone else was asleep.   
      “Hey, Rhia?” I heard Isabel whisper.   
      “Yeah?”   
      “If we meet those bandits… I’ll help you kill them.” I smiled into the darkness. It was so morbid but it was comforting.   
      “Thanks, Isabel. See you in the morning.”   
      “‘Night.” I heard her turn over and I closed my eyes. I was itching to go outside the walls again. I could potentially escape Wall Shina and go into the countryside between Shina and Rose, pretending it was the outside, but it wouldn’t be the same. I’d meet random people in the forest who weren’t trying to kill me. I wouldn’t know my way around the forest. I had to be back in my forest to be comfortable again. Hopefully, it would only be a few months until we went on our first expedition. 


	6. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several months have passed and the four friends are on their first expedition outside of the walls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains violence, mentions of rape and torture and may act as a trigger for PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder).

      Seven months had passed and we were at last leaving for the outside. I’d missed out on breakfast because I had to do some cleaning up as punishment for getting in a little fight with Jayden fucking Holf. It was worth it to see his black eye when we both cleaned up the bathroom though. When I finished I had to help Dana out with her buckles, which she’d somehow gotten tangled as she pulled them on. Her friends had gone on when she insisted she was fine but when I got back, she was still tangled up and almost crying.   
      “Dana, you’ve got to tell people when you need help, okay? You’ve attached the wrong buckles.” I loosened them up and buckled the correct straps. “Go on down to breakfast.” I insisted. She smiled and wiped her eyes that were still wet from embarrassment and frustration.   
      “Thanks, Rhia. I owe you.” She went down to the cafeteria for the final ten minutes of breakfast. I didn’t see the point in going down so I grabbed my stuff that I used to wear on the outside. I rolled my clothes up and put them into the pack that would be strapped to Uno’s side. After some thought, I put my holster bag into the pack as well and replaced it with my thigh holster for my knife on my right leg. There was no way that I’d leave my spear behind either so I hooked that on my special Scout’s travelling cloak. Though it would reinforce the ideas that I was still a wild woman at heart, I’d rather be prepared than dead. Some girls came back up to get their stuff and I passed by them to go downstairs to where I would collect my 3DMG. When I got down there, it was so busy that I couldn’t find Isabel or Levi or Farlan. I fixed my equipment easily and moved to the stables to find Uno. Though I was one of the first to get in there, it got so busy that I couldn’t get Uno out until there was only a few of us left, and still I hadn’t managed to see my friends. Everyone was on their horses by the time I got Uno into position and climbed onto him.   
      “Rhia!” I heard and turned, tugging on Uno’s reins slightly. Isabel, Farlan and Levi were trotting over on their horses. Farlan was more relaxed on his horse now and they were both pretty laid back. He’d called his horse Lax, for god’s sake. Levi had named his stallion Rune.   
      “You weren’t at breakfast, we wondered where you were.” Farlan noted.   
      “Flagon put me on cleaning duties for the scrap with Jayden yesterday.” I explained.   
      “Yeah, your lip is cut up a little.” I wiped it to find some blood.   
      “Jayden is worse. You may have seen the black eye I gave him. It’s a beauty.” Levi smirked.   
      “Good. Come on, it looks like we're moving out.” And indeed we were. We set out and it took us two days or so to get to the Shiganshina district. We spent one more night in an inn just outside Shiganshina and then we set out early. We were now outside the gates - the only things that were barring us from the outside. I breathed in deeply but it didn’t smell free. Not yet.   
      “OPEN THE GATES!” Keith bellowed. I heard another guy inside the wall repeat the order. The gate started to open and I was fidgeting.   
      “Calm down, Rhia.” I heard Levi mutter beside me. “You’re making Uno nervous.” I looked down. He was shifting about a lot and he was getting impatient. I patted his shoulder and shushed him gently.   
      “Sorry. It’s been a while since I’ve been home.” Despite the past year training and living inside Wall Shina, the forest outside would always be home to me. I wondered if I could pay Greyjoy’s grave a visit at some point.   
      “Today we will take another step forward!” Keith continued. “Let the results of your training show! Make them realise the strength of humanity!” The gate was at last open and I got a rush of fresh air. I breathed it in and smiled. I noticed Levi staring and I cleared my throat and shrugged sheepishly, going a bit pink.   
      “EVERYONE! GO!” Keith’s horse bucked and he set off at a gallop, the line of Scouts slowly starting to sprint after him.   
      “Hey…” Farlan spoke up. “Now would be the right time… Someone… Tell me this is all a lie…”   
      “Yeah. This really seems too good to be true... that even people from the underground are able to get outside the walls, that is.” Levi agreed. I kicked Uno into a gallop.   
      “When we get out there, breathe that fresh air in deeply.” I insisted loudly for them to hear. “It’s good to breathe free air.” We raced through the tunnel and at last, the sun beat down on us and I gulped in the air.   
      “Amazing!” Farlan shouted.   
      “Yeah!” Isabel agreed excitedly.   
      “Not bad.” I heard Levi say, though his eyes were wide. “You got to live out here…”   
      “Yep!” I laughed, rising in the saddle to cheer. Isabel joined me and we laughed until someone told us to shut up. I settled back into my saddle and looked at my friends.   
      “I’m glad that you guys could come out here.” I grinned at them. “Don’t die, okay? I’ve gotten fond of you all.” Isabel gave me a thumbs up.   
      “Don’t worry, I’m not planning on dying anytime soon!” She assured me.   
      “It’ll take more than a Titan to take us down!” Farlan reinforced that sentiment. Levi rolled his eyes.   
      “It’ll take more than three Titans to take us down.” He corrected.   
      “It bloody well better.” I added. The legion had slowed down to a canter and we were following a path that had been trodden many times by the Survey Corps.   
      “Ha… This is the worst… We actually got outside the walls.” Farlan piped up, earning odd looks. “If everything had gone according to plan, we would have an example of that thing by now… Just where exactly is Erwin hiding it?” Oh, they were talking about their ulterior motive. I tuned out the conversation and looked at the trees that were only a few hundred metres away. It wasn’t the forest that I lived in, but I’d frequented that forest a few times, especially when food was running low. Bandits set up camps in this forest a lot to be closer to the wall, making it easier to rob people blind, usually weak squads that had been separated from the legion. I heard Farlan and Isabel arguing again and I rolled my eyes.   
      “QUIT MESSING AROUND!” One of Flagon’s deputies, Sayram, rode up between us. “Titans are not as easy to fight as you think! Stop acting like this is a damn joke! Do you have any idea how many soldiers have been eaten by Titans!? You trash from the underground… Don’t get so full of yourself-” That was enough.   
      “Sayram, if you don’t shut the fuck up, I’ll shut you up myself.” I growled at him.   
      “Yeah, you can say whatever you want!” Isabel rode up next to him. “If I defeat a Titan, everyone here will be the same level as that ‘trash from the underground’.” Ohhh, that was a good comeback.   
      “What DID YOU BOTH SAY!? YOU…” Levi suddenly appeared, cutting him off and tutting at Sayram as he rode past. “What do you want, you-”   
      “KNOCK IT OFF, SAYRAM!” Flagon ordered.   
      “But squad leader-”   
      “Calm down, otherwise you will not be allowed to take part in the training of the new formations from now on.” Flagon said. “Don’t throw the formation out of order since we don’t know when a Titan is going to appear.” He looked at Levi. “Actual fighting is different from training, you know…” Sayram obeyed reluctantly but continued glaring at us. Suddenly, I felt the ground shake minutely. No-one else seemed to notice it. How could they? I was born and raised out here, of course I could sense a Titan.   
      “Squad leader! Titan approaching!” I shouted.   
      “How can you tell!?” He yelled back to me.   
      “TRUST ME!”   
      “TITAN!” Keith shouted from the front. Flagon was visibly shocked at my prediction.   
      “ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE FOREST, A 15 METRE CLASS! IT’S COMING OUR WAY!” Someone else shouted.   
      “DON’T STOP, WE WILL FIGHT IT!” Keith ordered. “FRONT GUARD, FOLLOW ME! THE MAIN FORCE WILL CONTINUE WITHOUT CHANCE TO THE SUPPLIES AT THE PLACE OF OUR DESTINATION!” Astonishingly, I couldn’t hear Keith’s voice anymore over the sound of the footsteps. The footsteps were irregular however. That could only mean one thing.   
      “Squad leader, another Titan is inbound!” I roared over the noise.   
      “Are you sure!?”   
      “Certain, sir!” Sure enough, a Titan crept up just ahead of us from the trees. It was a 20 metre class.   
      “LEAD IT BACK INTO THE FOREST!”   
      “HEY, YOU STUPID TITAN, THIS WAY!” It didn’t even look at them. It was an abnormal. After one of the Scouts confirmed this, orders were barked out to defend the cart of supplies at all costs. Some of the Scouts leaped from their horses and deployed their 3DMG. It wasn’t long before they died. I rode around it with Levi, Isabel and Farlan.   
      “How is it so huge!?” Someone shouted.   
      “I feel like I should probably help out…” I said to the others.   
      “Leave this one to us, Rhia.” Levi called over the noise. “We’d like to prove ourselves.”   
      “No problem. Just be careful, alright?” He watched me for a moment longer and nodded before speeding ahead, Farlan and Isabel following close behind. They grinned at me as they passed, though Farlan looked a little sick. I hung back a little, just in case another Titan came out of the forest again.   
      “Rhia!” Flagon had pulled up beside me. “You’re just gonna let them go and get themselves killed!? You’ve lived outside, you know how dangerous it is!”   
      “I have confidence in them.” I replied. “They’re a lot stronger than anyone gives them credit for.”   
      “Fine. If another Titan emerges, I want you to take care of it.” I stared at him.   
      “You’re trusting me to do that!?” He looked at me grimly.   
      “Don’t make me regret it!” He sped on and I huffed with irritation. Now I had an _obligation_ to kill any Titan that appeared. I watched my friends battle the Titan. Isabel and Farlan slashed its legs while Levi went in for the nape of the neck. I’d never seen anyone move so fast with the 3DMG and the Titan was down before we knew it. They landed and seemed to relax. But footsteps on the ground told me it wasn’t over. Another Titan was hiding in the forest, waiting for most of us to pass. _Spear or 3DMG?_ I wanted to show people that I could use the equipment. The Titan suddenly came rushing out of the forest and I growled with frustration, deploying the harpoons and rushing over.   
      “RHIA!” I heard someone shout, possibly Isabel. The wires connected to its shoulder and I swung my way up to its neck. I landed a little short though and landed on its bicep. _Fuck!_ As a result of my stupidity, it swatted at me and I fell, my triggers and swords falling from my hands. _You forgot to attach the cords, you idiot_. Again, someone yelled my name as I tumbled off its arm. My 3DMG was now useless but I still had my knife and spear. I dug the knife into its bicep and swung to its shoulder. Moving quickly, I sheathed the knife and grabbed my spear. Holding onto its hair, I positioned myself and then swiped wide with my spear. The blade dragged through the flesh, deep enough to kill. The Titan jerked forwards, falling to the floor and I struggled to keep my balance. It was steaming before it smacked on the floor and I, unfortunately, lost my balance and fell back with a yelp. I groaned, having fallen into the cut in the nape of the neck and was now covered in the Titan’s blood. The steam finally cleared and I crawled up to the head and groaned again in pain. I saw Scouts from my squad and other squads looking shocked. Levi, Isabel and Farlan looked like they’d started running towards me and stopped halfway. Even they looked surprised.   
      “Uh…” I wasn’t very good at heroic lines, it seemed. “Why do you look shocked?”   
      “You cut down a Titan… with a spear…” Flagon spluttered.   
      “Yes… I’ve always used a spear…”   
      “But…”   
      “I lived out here up until a year ago. Did everyone actually think that I’d never killed a Titan before?” Now I was just annoyed.   
      “Well…” Someone said.   
      “Oh, for god’s sake.” I grumbled, hopping off the Titan’s head. Its body was now dissolving so I walked away from it and came to a stop by my friends.   
      “Your teamwork taking down the 20 metre was pretty amazing.” I observed, giving them a smile.   
      “You weren’t so bad yourself.” Levi replied. Didn’t I say that to him once a few months back?   
      “Yeah, well, I’m just pissed off that people thought I was lying.” I muttered. “I need to find the triggers, I lost them earlier.”   
      “They’re over there.” Levi pointed and went to get them for me. How nice.   
      “Man, you had us scared there.” Farlan said. “Levi was about to fly up there and help you out.”   
      “He was?” Seriously?   
      “Yeah, we saw you drop your triggers and fall off and he started running over to help and we followed and then we saw you climb back on but then you disappeared and we couldn’t tell what was happening and then the Titan fell forward but we couldn’t see you behind the steam!” Isabel babbled. “And we started running over again just in case you got squished or thrown off and then the steam cleared but we couldn’t see you! And then you suddenly crawled out from behind its head and you were covered in blood but oh god, Rhia, don’t scare us like that again!” She ended up scolding me.   
      “Right… Sorry, Isabel. I fell into the hole in the neck though.” Most of the blood on my clothes had dissolved and burned off, but some of it was still on my skin and I still had remnants of the stubborn stuff on my cloak. I wiped at my face with my sleeve and Levi returned, handing me my triggers.   
      “Thanks.” I sighed, inspecting the handles. I knew I should have attached the cords.   
      “We were just telling Rhia about how you were going to save her.” Farlan informed him. I probably wouldn’t have gone pink (unlikely though) if Levi’s cheeks hadn’t coloured as well. It was faint but it was definitely there.   
      “Anyone would do the same.” He growled, glaring at Farlan. Oh dear…   
      “Thanks for thinking about it though, Levi.” I interjected quickly, not wanting there to be a scuffle. “Apparently Farlan doesn’t care enough.”   
      “What!? I do care!” Farlan defended, his mouth agape.   
      “Not enough apparently.” I said, gleefully noting Levi’s smugness. Okay, so maybe I had a little crush on him… I certainly wasn’t the only one anyway. Of course, Isabel saw him as a big brother, but some of the other girls in the legion had flirted with him before, to my dismay. If Winnie was still here, I wondered what she would do. Would she discriminate against him as well for being ‘sewer scum’? Or would she flirt with him to get at me? He was pretty damn good looking so it would probably end up being the latter. I was very glad that she wasn’t here.   
      “Hey, no, I do, I swear!” Farlan continued to flap around me as we walked to our horses.   
      “It’s fine, Farlan, I understand. I don’t need you anyway, I have my potential saviour, Levi.” I continued to tease as I mounted Uno.   
      “Rhia, this isn’t funny, seriously.” He grumbled under his breath. “You know you’re my friend.” _He called you his friend_. Despite being practically best friends with these three for several months, I couldn’t help but still feel surprised when they referred to me as their friend. It almost seemed too good to be true, like Levi had said when we were about to leave Shiganshina. While their goal was to get outside and execute their mysterious plan, mine was to be accepted and have actual friends. My ambition wasn’t quite as good as theirs, I reflected.   
      “Nah, she doesn’t need you, Farlan.” Isabel joined in with the teasing. “She’s got big bro and me!”   
“She never mentioned you, Isabel.” Farlan retaliated to get a rise out of her.   
      “Hey, shut up, Farlan! She wants me with her! Right, Rhia?” She looked at me for confirmation. It almost killed me seeing the doubt in her eyes.   
      “Of course I want you with me, Isabel.” I assured her. “Where would I be without you? It’s only Farlan who couldn’t care less.”   
      “Rhia!” He groaned. Isabel continued taunting him as we rode on and the riderless horses were tied to other horses. I listened to the argument with fondness and caught Levi’s eye. He smirked and winked. My cheeks went pink, I couldn’t hide it, but I grinned back anyway.   
      “Isabel, you’re so annoying!” Farlan snapped and she bit back. The argument lasted until we reached the castle we’d take refuge in. We dismounted and led the horses to water.   
      “Hey, are we gonna be resting at this run-down joint?” Isabel asked disappointedly.   
      “Pretty sure no-one’s been here for at least a year.” I told her, having seen this castle many times. I used the well outside to wash my face of the Titan blood that remained.   
      “The walls look pretty battered down but…” Farlan continued. “It looks like they’ve made pretty good use of these old ruins. Of course, if Titans attacked, they’d be able to break down the walls with ease, but if we spend the night, we should be okay.”   
      “That’s right, Titans can’t move at night, huh?” Isabel said.   
      “Even so, we don’t know what’s going on outside of these walls. Don’t let your guard down.” Levi warned.   
      “He’s right.” I agreed. “People never seem to remember that there aren’t just Titans outside the walls. Wild animals and humans still pose a threat.”   
      “I want to meet some bandits and kill them.” Isabel decided, her jaw clenched with determination. I smiled at her weakly.   
      “Don’t get cocky. That’s how they get you.” She sobered up.   
      “I forgot about that. Sorry.” She was, of course, referring to my reaction several months ago when the subject of conversation got onto bandits and what they could do. I said that I’d tell them eventually but I didn’t know when. It would have to be soon; as talented as they were, I didn’t know if they’d all survive the expedition. I hoped to god that they would though.   
      “It’s fine. Let’s get inside.” We made our way inside to the hall and chose a spot by the wall that was near a corner.   
      “There we go.” Farlan sighed with relief, dropping his pack. “Man, I didn’t think it would be that easy to bring down a Titan.” I dumped my stuff between his and Levi’s stuff and stretched.   
      “They move faster than I thought, but if it’s only one, I can handle it.” Levi informed us and Farlan laughed softly.   
      “Even against the Titans, the ‘invincible Levi’ prevails!” Farlan noted.   
      “Yeah, ‘cause big bro is so strong!” Isabel celebrated with a stretch of her own.   
      “If you two are with us, it looks like we’ll manage to get home alive somehow.” Farlan complimented.   
      “If a large group of abnormals show up I’m not so sure though…” Levi pondered, squatting down to sit on the blanket he lay down. “Anyways, Farlan…”   
      “What?”   
      “Do you really think that guy’s carrying the documents with him?” Ah, the plan again. They’d been talking about it a lot recently. They must have been running out of time.   
      “Yeah, I’m sure of it.” Farlan said and recounted some stuff about looking into Erwin’s office.   
      “You guys have fun with your dark mysterious purpose, I’m gonna go chat with Krestian.” I interrupted quickly, pointing to my friend on the other side of the room.   
      “You don’t want to join us?” Isabel asked. I blinked.   
      “What?”   
      “We were thinking of letting you in on the plan.” Farlan said. “We know you said that you didn’t care but we trust you.” Aww, I’m touched.   
      “I’m glad that you guys trust me enough for that, but if it’s something to do with Erwin, I’m out.” I could see the disappointment in Isabel’s eyes. “If it were someone else, I could probably help you out, but I owe a debt to him. I’m not going to go sneaking around his stuff.”   
      “That’s awfully honourable for a woman who lived outside the walls.” Levi grunted, hurting my feelings a little, I’ll admit.   
      “Levi, that’s low.” Farlan snapped. “If she doesn’t want to be a part of it, she doesn’t have to. What’s got you in a bad mood?” Levi looked at Farlan sharply and glared.   
      “Nothing.” I blinked. What was going on? Realisation dawned on Farlan’s face. Lucky him - I had no clue what was happening.   
      “Oh, I see. You’re jealous of Kre-”   
      “Farlan, if you don’t shut your mouth, I’ll shut it for you.” Levi said darkly.   
      “Tch, fine.” He looked up at me. “No worries, Rhia. Go and talk with Krestian, we’ll be back in a minute.” I nodded hesitantly and left them to their huddle. Krestian saw me heading over and beamed at me.   
      “Hey, Rhia!” He shouted obnoxiously loud.   
      “Do you have to yell?” I complained, nursing my ears.   
      “It’s been too long!” He laughed.   
      “Krestian, it’s been three days since I spoke to you.” I frowned at him. What an oddball.   
      “Hey, three days is too long!” He insisted. “I’ve missed you, girl. How was the ride over? I heard you downed a Titan!” Sodom’s squad was one of those that had gone on ahead to secure the rest of the road for the supplies, so he wouldn’t have seen me kill the Titan.   
      “Uh yeah, though I fucked up pretty badly. I didn’t attach the damn cord to my triggers so I lost them during the fight. Had to rely on my spear and knife instead.”   
      “Yikes, that sounds like a bummer.”  
      “Nah, it was fine, I managed fine before I had 3DMG, I’ll manage fine with it too. A lot of people don’t know how to function if their gear stops working though. I might talk to Keith or Erwin about that when I can.” Krestian nodded distractedly, watching me closely. “What?”   
      “Nothing, nothing.” He muttered and looked away, his cheeks reddening.   
      “Right… How was the ride over for you?” He shrugged.   
      “Eh, it was alright. Pretty dull. I was hoping to get some actual Titan action but hey, an order’s an order right? Maybe I’ll get to prove myself when we test out the new formation!”   
      “I’d forgotten about that. When do we get the debriefing?”   
      “After everyone’s settled and eaten, I’d imagine.” Krestian guessed. “Have you seen Dana? She’s pretty shaken up by the Titans.” I looked around the room for her. I noticed that Farlan, Isabel and Levi had disappeared but then I saw Dana was standing alone by a wall, her friends watching her with concern.   
      “Did something happen?” I asked Krestian.   
      “She saw the Titans and seized up. Squad leader had to lead her horse to safety. She was terrified.” Dana had her arms wrapped around her, and even from here, I could see how scared she was.   
      “I’m going to see her.” I decided and walked over before Krestian could object. She didn’t look up when I stopped beside her.   
      “Dana?” She didn’t respond. “Hey, Dana, can you look at me?” After a few seconds, she raised her head. Her eyes were filled with tears.   
      “I s-saw them… They’re so big… They’re t-terrifying… I watched them… Eat people…” I put my hands on her shoulders and squeezed.   
      “Ssh, Dana, it’s okay… They’re not going to get you. They’ll have to go through me before they do.” I vowed. “Okay? You hear me?” She nodded stiffly, tears dropping on the cobblestone floor. “Come on, I’m going to take you to your friends and they’ll take care of you, alright? You’re safe here.” She nodded again and allowed me to lead her by the arm to her friends. They thanked me and sat her down, making her feel safer. To my left, my friends had returned. After double checking on Dana, I walked back over to them.   
      “What’s up with her?” Isabel asked.   
      “She saw the Titans and froze up apparently. A bit traumatised, but she should be okay.” I explained, sitting crosslegged.   
      “If she’s scared of Titans, she shouldn’t be here.” Isabel muttered.   
      “Everyone’s a little scared of Titans, Isabel.” I responded. “No-one wants to die and watching other people die is hard. Not everyone is as fearless as you, but they try anyway. That’s important, at least to me anyway.” She seemed guilty at what she said and nodded mutely. “Did your plan work?”   
      “No. We didn’t find what we needed but it just confirms the fact that Erwin has the documents on him.” Farlan sighed. “We’re no closer to getting them though.”   
      “Don’t kill him.” They looked at me.   
      “What?” Levi said.   
      “Don’t kill Erwin.” I repeated. “If your plan is to murder him after you get those documents, I can’t sit back and let you do that.”   
      “Why not?” He demanded.   
      “Because I owe him my life. You guys may be my best friends,” I tried not to blush when they looked surprised, “But I can’t sit idly and let you kill him, so I’m asking you not to.” I looked at Levi in particular. “Please.” There was a silence that lasted for far too long in my opinion. His eyes softened a little.   
      “I’ll try to avoid it.” Levi said eventually, looking away. “But I can’t promise.” That was enough for me and it shocked Isabel and Farlan enough for them to stare at him with their mouths wide open.   
      “Thank you, Levi.” I paused. “I meant what I said as well. You guys are my best friends.” _It’s time_. “I… I’ll tell you my two secrets if you want?” Well, I would have done if Hanji hadn’t suddenly appeared behind me.   
      “Hey you! Can I disturb you for a moment?” She asked with a smile. “I saw it, you know. The decisive moment.” I noted the suspicion and shock on my friends’ faces. They’d gotten the wrong end of the stick.   
      “The decisive moment?” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Levi’s hand shift and the glint of a blade. _Don’t kill Hanji, Levi, please…  
      _ “What are you talking about?”   
      “What am I talking about?” She repeated. “It’s obvious that I’m talking about the moment when you brought down that Titan!” She was excited as always. “That was really amazing! I was overwhelmed with excitement!”   
      “Uh…” Levi was at a loss for words.   
      “Hanji… Tone it down a little.” I warned her with a little smile. She laughed sheepishly.   
      “Heh, sorry… I’m Hanji Zoe. You’re Levi, right? This girl over here is Isabel. And... this is…” I snorted as Farlan sighed.   
      “Farlan.” He admitted.   
      “Right, right, Farlan, nice to meet ya!” She greeted, squeezing between me and Farlan and slapping him on the shoulder in jest.   
      “You didn’t come here from the Training Corps, did you, Levi? How are you so skilled at using the 3DMG?” Even I didn’t know this. I knew that he was a thug underground, and a pretty famous one at that, and that was how he was so good at hand to hand, but the 3DMG? I almost assumed that he had a natural talent for it.   
      “Be sociable.” Farlan whispered behind his hand, though it wasn’t that quiet.   
      “I practiced. Nothing special.” Levi thought that that qualified as socialising.   
      “Did you learn from anyone? The first time I tried it, I had a hard time balancing on the belts…” Hanji admitted. “Do you have any tips for improving?” I noticed Isabel getting angry at Hanji. I looked at her pointedly but she didn’t back down. She didn’t appreciate Hanji’s prying, though I knew that this was just how she was. It was her inner scientist that made her so nosy.   
      “Not really.” Levi said bluntly.   
      “Maaaan, you don’t mince words, huh?” Hanji seemed to realise that Levi wasn’t a talkative person. “Even a tiny hint would be great.” Or not. She looked turned to look at everyone in the room.   
      “Come on, I’m pretty sure everyone is itching to know.” Everyone was watching us, their gaze fixated on Levi. I knew how easy it was to be pinned under pressure, especially from Hanji’s unintentional intrusiveness.   
      “Everyone saw how you fought. The way you fight encourages us to believe that humanity won’t lose to the Titans. It was really awe-inspiring to watch you fight.” She turned to look at Isabel when she said that. Isabel was taken aback.   
      “So by all means…” Isabel was now very excited at being noticed. She laughed happily.   
      “We’re amazing, aren’t we!? They’re thinkin’ better of us? Did you get a good look?” She asked, leaning in and taking Hanji by surprise with her own delight.   
      “Yep, it was awesome.” Hanji smiled. “Which is exactly why Levi should-”   
      “Big bro is the strongest one out there! Even underground he was the strongest!” Isabel continued, filled with admiration for Levi.   
      “Hey now, Rhia was pretty awesome too.” Farlan interrupted.   
      “Don’t bring me into this, Farlan, please-”   
      “Yeah, Rhia was amazing as well! They’re both the strongest people I know!”   
      “Thanks, Farlan.” I grumbled.   
      “You’re welcome.” He replied smugly. “Revenge for earlier.” I rolled my eyes.   
      “Here, Isabel.” Hanji held out a small bag. “Would you like to try some of these sweets I got from my friend?” Isabel ate some curiously which shut her up, thank god. Nice thinking, Hanji.   
      “So, how about it?” She was addressing Levi again. “Would you be willing to let us know what goes on inside your head?”   
      “I can’t.” Levi disappointed her. “I’m self-taught. It’s not something that you can easily teach to others.”   
      “But-”   
      “Sorry. I’m exhausted.” Hanji was definitely disappointed but she respected his decision.   
      “I see. I’m sorry for disturbing you.” She stood up and laid comforting hands on Farlan and Isabel. “Thank you, Isabel, thank you, Farlan. Let’s have a nice long chat next time, okay?” She looked at me. “You must be feeling pretty great being back outside, huh, Rhia?” I nodded.   
      “It’s good to be home.” She was still saddened from the previous question.   
      “You mean the legion isn’t your home?” I blinked. Now she made me feel bad…   
      “I… It’s fine living in the barracks with everyone but… Outside will always be home to me.” She nodded.   
      “I get that. If we make it back alive, I’ll buy you all lunch some time!” And with that, she turned and walked away with a wave. We only recovered when she was on the other side of the room talking to some other people.   
      “Man, what a weirdo.” Farlan acknowledged. “But… couldn’t you have given her some sort of easy trick to help them out?”   
      “I don’t want to be responsible for anyone’s lives except for yours, Isabel’s and Rhia’s.” Aww.   
      “What an ecstatic person they were.” Farlan continued to muse aloud. “Doesn’t seem like the type who particularly minds what other people think.”   
      “She may be in the Scouting Legion but she’s hoping to join the Science department.” I explained. “It took me a while to get used to her… excitable nature and… curiosity, but she’s nice.”   
      “Hmm.” Farlan hummed.   
      “Hey, big bro?” We looked at Isabel who was still eating the sweets that Hanji had given her. “I don’t really get all that stuff about ‘humanity taking back the world’ or whatnot. These guys are actually ready to die for that sort of thing… But you’re wondering if it’s really okay for them to die for that reason, aren’t you?” Levi didn’t respond. It was dark outside and soon, we were called down to be debriefed on the new formation. It was all pretty standard and it seemed like it could actually work. Basically, the idea was that the whole regiment could run without ever meeting a Titan. A red flare would be deployed is someone spotted a Titan, the rest of the squad would copy for a confirmed sighting. Erwin, in turn, would shoot a green flare in the direction that the legion would turn. Everyone else in the front guard would do the same and we’d escape said Titan. In the event of an emergency, Erwin would fire a black flare, but hopefully that wouldn’t happen. Flagon pointed at our position on the diagram when we left to be debriefed in squads.   
      “Our position is here.” We were on the far right. “We will relay to the next row: row four. We’ll run the spare horses side by side while focusing mainly on relay. However,” He turned to us, “No matter how superior this formation may be, there’s no guarantee that we won’t run into a Titan at any given time. Don’t forget, we’re outside the walls here. We should always expect the unexpected, because anything can happen. This squad in particular lacks some unity.” Isabel grunted. “Then again… It’s also blessed with some capable, talented people.” That cheered her up again. “Rhia, considering your past with the outside and your correct warnings prior to the Titan appearances, I want you to be extra vigilant. Your warnings could save lives and I need you on point.”   
      “Yes, sir.” I nodded.   
      “If even one single unit in the formation screws up, the consequences will be dire. So I want you to proceed with caution.” He warned.   
      “Alriiiight! My time to shiiine!” Isabel celebrated, jumping into the air. She scared me sometimes.   
      “Hey, Isabel!” Sayram spat. “This isn’t all about you and how hard you can try on your own! Do you even properly understand the essence of this formation!?”   
      “Duh, _obviously_! Anything that was too hard for me to get was beat into me during practice!” She defended.   
      “Alright, alright,” Flagon defused the argument, “Whatever, just listen up. I don’t think you four know this, but in all honesty, the situation we in the Survey Corps find ourselves in is pretty disgraceful. For taxpaying citizens, it goes without saying.” I recalled the drunk in the inn when I first encountered hostility towards the Scouting Legion. “The expenses surveying beyond the walls demands require a significant amount of money. The scrutiny put upon the Survey Corps by the other military branches is relentless.”   
      “Seriously?” Farlan spoke up. “So I guess not everyone in the military gets along with each other.” I had guessed this as well.   
      “It’s because we still haven’t been able to bring back any groundbreaking information about the Titans, though even if we did, I don’t even know if they’d appreciate it. When Rhia came in, no-one appreciated that.”   
      “Sorry to be a bother.” I muttered, cocking an eyebrow. He looked at me pointedly but ignored it.   
      “However, one thing is for certain. The outcome of this new formation has the potential to change our future! WE WILL ABSOLUTELY MAKE THIS A SUCCESS AND BRING ABOUT A NEW ORDER!”   
      “Yes, sir!” Isabel exclaimed, saluting _wrongly_. She hadn’t noticed though.   
      “What was that, Magnolia?” Flagon demanded. “Can’t you do a proper salute?” For once, it wasn’t Farlan who couldn’t salute. “Do me a favour and don’t humiliate me like that anymore.” She looked down at her salute and looked at us as Flagon and Sayram walked off. I demonstrated the salute for her and she copied me.   
      “Don’t worry about it, Isabel. The salute isn’t all that important, they like to make a big deal out of nothing.” I assured her and we walked to our beds. They started talking about the plan again and I tuned it out, leaning against the crates that were close by Isabel. Tomorrow we’d be heading out again and my stomach flipped every time I thought about it. I wasn’t worried about myself, I could die for all I cared; I was worried for Isabel, Farlan and Levi. My gut was telling me tomorrow was going to be hard. Something bad is going to happen. I really hoped the voice wasn’t right for once. My thoughts were interrupted when Farlan got angry at Isabel.   
      “What the hell, Isabel!? Was the candy they gave you really that good!?”   
      “WHAT!? Who said anythin’ about the candy!?” She demanded.   
      “Shut up, moron, you’re being too loud.” Farlan retorted.   
      “... Though it was pretty good.” She muttered to herself. “I… I think I kinda get why they journey outside. Going beyond the walls is a lot like how we used to dream of leaving the underground some day. We’ve got so many friends down there who just die as they dream of the surface. I’d always look at them and think ‘I’m getting the hell outta here, for sure’. So…”   
      “It’s going out beyond the walls to kill Titans.” Levi suggested.   
      “Yeah.” Isabel agreed. “Hey, big bro? I dunno if this is weird or anything, but, uh…” We watched her. “Today, after I was done talking with everyone, I realised I really want them to go outside the walls and fight more. Lots and lots more, even more than they already do.” She chuckled lowly. “If we wind up living in the capital someday… We’ll steal loads from those bastards and use it all however the hell we wanna! Serves ‘em right!” She smiled into her pillow and I smiled as well. Isabel was adorable in a terrifying way. Though she had her back to me, I could tell she was still smug. _Speaking of her back, when are you going to tell your best friends about your secrets?_ Oh yeah.   
      “Oh, I just remembered, uh… I was going to tell you the secrets, right?” They looked over at me and Isabel turned around to see me.   
      “Don’t feel pressured to, Rhia.” Farlan said. “You can tell us another night.” I shook my head.   
      “No, I want to say it tonight. I’ve just got this… bad feeling about tomorrow. I want to tell you, just in case something happens to any of us.” They nodded and waited. “Okay. Don’t interrupt, okay? Right… Secret number one. My vendetta against bandits. The biggest reason for it was that they killed my mother. They raped her in front of me and then did the same to me before killing her.” I paused for a moment, hardly believing that I was really telling people about this. “I was seventeen at the time. When they came to get me a second time, I killed them and escaped. But that wasn’t the only time I’d been… hurt like that. It happened again a few years later and again and again and again… I have a list of six bandits that are going to pay for touching me... Here’s the big one…” I sucked in breath. “I’ve been… raped… nine times.” I could barely get the words out of my mouth. I moved on quickly and kept my gaze on my hands that were clenching nervously in front of me. “Secret number two. The bullying. I told you about Winnie and the fact that Jayden was involved but never incarcerated. It was my second night and I’d just stuck up for myself for the first time. Well, it was more sticking up for Hanji. Apparently, four eyes can be a term of endearment. Who the fuck uses that as a nickname?” I chuckled a little shakily. _Keep going_. I couldn’t believe I was doing this. Fuck.   
      “Winnie and her friends grabbed me in the middle of the night, blindfolded and gagged me before dragging me out to another room where Jayden and his friends were waiting… I could have escaped, I know it… If I hadn’t have just stood there and ripped the blindfold off… I managed to beat the girls holding me down but I just stood there and pulled the blindfold off instead of doing the smart thing of running as well… It doesn’t matter anyway. They held me down again and Jayden…” I clapped my hand to my mouth, willing myself not to be sick.   
      “He didn’t… rape you… did he?” Isabel asked timidly. I chanced a look at her. There were tears in her eyes and she looked as if I were telling a scary bedtime story.   
      “No, thank god. Though considering what he did do… I think I’d prefer what I got than the alternative of that sort of assault…It's not something you get used to...”   
      “Then… What’d he do?” She squeaked. _Show them_. I swallowed and stood up.   
      “I’ll show you.” I mumbled and pulled the buckles off my torso before starting on the buttons on my shirt. “I’m not just randomly stripping by the way.” I joked shakily with a very breathy chuckle. I was out of breath and my heart was beating so loudly I could hear it throughout my skull.   
      “Move the lantern closer.” I instructed, taking off my shirt and sitting down in front. The lantern was closer to my back but I still had my black top on underneath.   
      “Are those… scars?” They could see some of the scars, probably the 'O', the 'U' and the top of the 'T', just below my neck then. “Wait… Are those letters!?” Farlan was freaked out.   
      “Okay… Here goes.” I mumbled to give myself courage. I pulled the top over my head and moved my ponytail over my shoulder so they could clearly see.   
      “Oh my god…” Farlan sounded like he almost gagged and I think Isabel choked back a sob.   
      “‘Outsider’...” Levi spat, his tone menacing. I laughed weakly.   
      “That’s my name, hunting’s my game…” My humour was pretty stale at the moment.   
      “We’re going to kill him.” Levi decided. His voice left no room for argument.   
      “If we’re lucky, he’ll get eaten by a Titan.” I tried to joke again. I didn’t hear a response and I bowed my head. Do they think it’s disgusting? I flinched when I felt a hand on my back.   
      “Ssh.” The hand was bare but another settled on my shoulder that was gloved. Levi.   
      “Rhia… How could you even talk about this? This is… I can’t even imagine the effect this had on you mentally… You made it sound like it was just some pranking...” Farlan was mortified, it seemed.   
      “The restraining order made it easier.” I admitted. “The fact that I couldn’t see it either made it a little easier to cope with. But… Jayden still carries around the knife that he used to… cut me.”   
      “We’ll see how he likes it on himself.” Levi growled, his right hand tracing the letters.   
      “Rhia…” Isabel spoke up. “I’m so sorry that… this happened…” She was crying and gripping her blanket in an effort to make herself stop. “I’m so sorry for patting you on the back really hard the other day and hitting you on the back during training!” She cried. As much as I was enjoying Levi’s hands on my back, I needed to help Isabel. I turned and crawled over to her, conscious of the fact that I was only in my sports bra and put my hands on her shoulders.   
      “Isabel, it’s okay…” She sniffed loudly and threw herself into my arms, squishing her face against my collarbone. “Oof!”   
      “I’m gonna protect you from now on, ‘kay? And Farlan will as well and so will Levi! We’re never gonna leave you alone and we’re gonna kill that bastard too!” My eyes were wet as well and I tried my hardest not to cry as well. But it was so hard… A tear ended up escaping and I brushed it away quickly, stroking Isabel’s hair.   
      “I’m fine now, though. See? I’m stronger than ever and I’ll keep beating people up.” The lump in my throat was hard to swallow.   
      “But it’s so mean!”   
      “Isabel-”   
      “It’s not okay!” That was it. I choked and put my hand over my mouth, scrunching my eyes up tight. Isabel pulled back, looking at me in shock.   
      “I really didn’t want to cry…” I whispered. “Fuck.” I wiped my cheeks but the tears kept coming, little traitorous fuckers. I was pulled into the hug again and Isabel was crying too and now we were both crying and I thought I heard Farlan sniffle, though that may have been my imagination.   
      “I’m so sorry…” Isabel whimpered into my neck, once again making me conscious of my lack of attire.   
      “Levi.” I heard Farlan say but my eyes were closed as I rested my head on Isabel’s. Seconds later, I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and Isabel on my right and then another a few moments after on my left. I opened my eyes in surprise. Both Levi and Farlan had joined the embrace, Levi on my left and Farlan on my right. It made me want to cry again and I continued to stroke Isabel’s hair. Farlan’s head was resting sideways on mine so that he was facing the wall whilst Levi’s forehead was resting on my head, his breath warming my bare shoulder. We sat like this for a long time and it took me a little while to realise that Isabel had fallen asleep in her position. I chuckled as softly as I could.   
      “Levi? Farlan? You awake?” Only Levi responded.   
      “Hmm?”   
      “Just you then. Isabel’s asleep as well.” I murmured, keeping my voice as quiet as possible.   
      “Oh… How long have we sat like this?”   
      “Pfft, who knows? An hour at the very least, I should think.” After a moment, Levi pulled away and my left arm got cold quickly. His hands returned to my back though.   
      “Do they still hurt?” I heard him whisper.   
      “On occasion. Memories sometimes trigger a twinge every now and then.”   
      “So most of the times you’ve scratched your back, it’s been…” I sighed quietly.   
      “Yeah. It’s not something I can really escape. I can’t see them, sure, but… I always know that they’re there.” His hands were warm and I noticed that he’d taken off both his gloves now.   
      “It sounds unbearable.” He mumbled.   
      “... It is.” We sat like that for another twenty minutes or so in silence. Isabel only shifted once in her sleep and Farlan barely twitched. Levi, on the other hand, never stopped moving his hands over the scars. I wasn’t sure why or what exactly he was doing. Sometimes he’d trace the letters, sometimes he’d simply stroke my back with palms and sometimes he’d just place his hands on my shoulders and keep them there. Eventually, Isabel woke up woozily, asking if we had any sweets left over from earlier. I smiled fondly at her half-lidded eyes. She was adorable.   
      “Yeah, we’ve got some, but you can have them tomorrow. You’ve got to sleep now.” She nodded numbly and I pushed her gently back, managing to keep Farlan balanced on me. I poked him softly in the forehead.   
      “Farlan?” He muttered something incoherent and I poked him again. “Farlan?” He snorted a little and his eyes opened a tiny bit.   
      “What?” He groaned.   
      “You need to go to bed.”   
      “Nnggg, I am in bed.” I shook with silent laughter.   
      “No, you’re not, I’m not your bed. Come on, up.” Reluctantly, he moved his head from mine and crawled sleepily over to his bed, almost collapsing over Isabel as he went. He was unconscious as soon as he pulled the blanket over him and, checking back on Isabel, so was she, though she was drooling slightly. Probably dreaming of sweets.   
      “Sleep seems like a good idea.” I yawned and stretched, almost squeaking when Levi ran his fingers down the muscles in my back.   
      “Sorry.” He said and handed me my black top. I pulled it on tiredly and rubbed my eyes. Levi rose and sat on his cushioned pack again, his legs outstretched. He watched me for a moment, his eyes lidded with fatigue, before patting the space beside him on the cushion, though there was little room. I practically dragged myself and tried to sit on the cushion.   
      “There’s no room.” I muttered, my eyes now threatening to close. I scooched down, sat on the floor in front of the cushion and curled up a little, like I did with Greyjoy, and rested my head on Levi’s left thigh, my arms curling around his leg as well, as an anchor. He didn’t push me off or say anything so I assumed it was okay. I was almost asleep when I felt his fingers in my hair. I smiled to myself before letting myself dream. 

 


	7. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the next day and the Scouts are trying out the new formation for the first time. Things are going well until a storm hits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains graphic violence, torture and brief mentions of rape. Major character deaths are mostly canon.

      My stomach was still flipping the next day. Having told Isabel, Farlan and Levi about my secrets, I felt a little better and almost felt closer to them as a result of that. Despite that, I couldn’t shake the feeling that today was going to have consequences. Levi noticed my quietness as we saddled the horses.   
      “What’s wrong?” He asked, drawing the attention of Isabel and Farlan as well.   
      “I don’t know… I can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen…” I admitted.   
      “How can you tell?” Farlan asked, straightening Lax’s bridle. Our packs had been left in the castle and, hopefully, we’d all return to it after the expedition and head home with some groundbreaking information about the Titans.   
      “Call it instinct.” I muttered. “If things get bad, and they probably will, we can’t separate, okay? We stick together.”   
      “Right!” Isabel nodded with a grin. “We’ll look out for each other, don’t worry, Rhia!” Her sentiment didn’t comfort me. _Don’t leave their side for a second_. I didn’t plan to. We mounted our horses and slowly, we set off at a canter, gradually accelerating into a gallop.

      As we were testing out the new formation for the first time, Erwin was in charge, since he’d concocted the formation in the first place and knew it better than anyone. We were running at full speed in a simple pyramid when we heard him shout an order.   
      “ALL SQUADS!” He bellowed. “EXECUTE LONG DISTANCE SCOUTING FORMATION!” Immediately, we reshuffled and got into position. We were on the far right, near the edge of the formation. Fourteen times, someone spotted a Titan and raised a red flare. Erwin would respond in kind with his green flare, pointing it the other way so we could avoid it, the rest of the front guard doing the same so everyone could see it. On the fourteenth time, Levi spoke.   
      “Pretty impressive.” He said loudly enough for us to hear. “It’s a huge battalion but it’s moving as if everyone in it has become one.”   
      “Yep, I shoulda known that squad leader Erwin’s no ordinary guy.” Farlan mused. “Looks like he’s arranged it so there’s no chance of the rear guard running into any Titans before we reach the next supply point.”   
      “Up ‘til now, we’ve changed course fourteen times.” Isabel said. “Guess there’s a lot more of them than you’d think, huh?”   
      “The outside is overrun with them and they congregate around here because they can smell us.” I explained. “As long as we don’t run into bandits as well, we’re fine.”   
      “So in other words, we’re all fucked if we stop moving.” Farlan looked a little pale. “Is that what you’re saying?”   
      “Essentially, yes. Movement is life, Farlan.” I responded. The sky was beginning to darken and we all looked at the storming clouds that were fast approaching.   
      “Shit…”   
      “Not good?” Isabel asked, looking at me worriedly.   
      “It’s really not good… We won’t be able to see the flares now. And if a mist settles…” I could hardly finish my sentence when a loud rumble of thunder shook the sky.   
      “If a mist settles, we can’t see anything.” Levi finished. “We can’t see other Scouts, flares, Titans or bandits.”   
      “Exactly…” I breathed, my heart in my throat. _I told you._    
      “Whatever you do, don’t lose sight of each other!” I shouted as the rain started pouring. It was so loud that I wasn’t sure if they could even hear me. I pulled my hood up.   
      “Shit, it started raining!” I could just hear Farlan curse. “Dammit, I can’t see anything in front of me!”   
      “HEY! DON’T BREAK FORMATION!” Flagon roared over the rain. “STAY TOGETHER!” I think Isabel replied but I couldn’t be sure.   
      “Rhia! Isabel! Farlan! Don’t get separated!” Levi called over the torrential downpour. _This is very very bad_. Lightning struck the ground and spooked the horses a little.   
      “Fuck!” I yelped as Uno bucked and sped on. “Uno!”   
      “Get your horse under control!” Flagon shouted as I tried to rein him in.   
      “I’m fucking trying! Uno!” He calmed a little and I managed to put myself back into formation. If lightning struck again, I couldn’t guarantee that Uno wouldn’t react again. And then mist started forming over the ground.   
      “Shit, now we’ve got fog!” Flagon cursed. “STAY TOGETHER!” I pulled my horse slightly closer to my friends. _Don’t lose them, don’t lose them, don’t lose them…_ The mist got thicker and thicker and I lost sight of Flagon.   
      “SQUAD LEADER!” I shouted, trying to get a response. If he did reply, I couldn’t hear him. A low broken wall from a burned down settlement suddenly appeared. Uno jumped over it and I almost fell with surprise.   
      “Rhia!” I heard Farlan shout. I looked to where it seemed his voice was coming from. The mist was so thick I could barely see him, having stumbled a little after the jump.   
      “Farlan!” I screamed, trying to pull Uno back over to them. A tree appeared out of nowhere and I had to jerk Uno to the left to avoid it. When we moved away from it, I couldn’t see Farlan or Isabel or Levi.   
      “FARLAN!” There was a very faint response and I tried steering Uno towards the right where I had last seen them. I couldn’t find them anywhere.   
      “FARLAN! ISABEL!” I shrieked, panic rising. “LEVI!” I got no response and accelerated, hoping that they’d simply gone on ahead. Shapes appeared in the mist and I prayed that it was them. I pulled up beside them.   
      “Levi!?” It wasn’t them. It was another squad with Dana in it as well. She’d been separated from Sodom’s squad apparently.   
      “Rhia!” She squealed. “Where’s your squad!?”   
      “We got separated! Where’s your squad!?” She was sobbing as she rode.   
      “I saw some of them get taken off their horses!”   
      “Did you see Harry or Krestian!?” She shook her head desperately. “How about people from my squad!? Have you seen Levi, Isabel and Farlan!? Or even Flagon!?” She was still shaking her head.   
      “No, I’m sorry, Rhia, I haven’t seen them, this fog is too thick!” _You weren’t supposed to lose them._ I know!   
      “Whose squad are you from!?” One guy asked. He looked to be the squad leader.   
      “Flagon’s!”   
      “Alright, stick with us until-”   
      “HUMANS!” Oh no. We were running through a place with trees that were common enough to keep you paranoid but sparse enough that you’d have to concentrate even more.   
      “BANDITS!” SHIT!   
      “Cut them down!” The mist was clearing slowly but the rain was still torrential and every now and then, thunder roared through the clouds. We found ourselves in a clearing and surrounded. An arrow sank into Uno’s leg and he whinnied in pain, falling to the floor. I wriggled out from beneath him and grabbed my spear. I didn’t know enough about the swords to be able to battle with them confidently. Two bandits came running out from behind the trees, one of them with a bow, and I growled. This was the second time that bandits had shot down my animal. If they shot down my friends as well, there’d be hell to pay. I swung my spear and slit both of their throats before they could even get close to me. Protecting the other people in the squad was my priority.   
      “SCOUTS TO ME!” I heard behind me. The mist still clung to the ground but it was easier to see now. The squad leader was fighting another bandit. I sprinted over and stabbed him in the back, leaving the squad leader looking at me with shock.   
      “You’re the outsider, huh?”   
      “Yeah, I am. Bet you’re glad I’m on your side, huh?”   
      “You have no idea.” Oh. That was… unexpected.” Other scouts slowly appeared and we stood in a circle with our backs together.   
      “Alright, listen.” The leader said. “Rhia is the only one here with extensive experience out here. She’s the one with the spear in case you lack common sense.” This guy was alright in my book. “If she gives an order, obey immediately. Rhia,” I looked at him, “I need you to be alert. Our lives are in your hands.” No pressure then. I nodded firmly.   
      “Okay, as far as I know, only one of the bandits had a bow but he’s bleeding on the floor by my horse so I wouldn’t worry about him.” I warned. “These guys have swords and knives though some may have guns, there’s usually at least one. Leave the gunned bandits to me and don’t wander too far, okay? We’ve got to stick toge-”   
      “TITANS!” That wasn’t one of our voices. One of the bandits had screamed in horror. Faintly, through the rain, I could see a figure towering over the trees. Because of the constant pounding of the rain on the ground, I hadn’t sensed its footsteps.   
      “Shit…” The leader cursed. “Titans is what we trained for! Scouts, take care of the Titans and leave the bandits to Rhia, me and Gred!” The Scouts, including Dana, nodded and ran into the mist, taking to the air immediately. “Rhia, can you tell how many there are?”   
      “The rain is interfering with my senses, I can’t tell you much. If I’m honest, when it was raining out here, I wouldn’t chance going out into the forest. Fighting in a storm tends to be a thing I avoid.” I apologised. “Leave the bandits to me though, I’ve got them.”   
      “No, we’re Scouts, we work together.” The leader remarked. “Do what you can but don’t take full responsibility.”   
      “ATTACK!” We heard from the fog.   
      “Gred, with me!” Squad leader shouted. Gred, a muscular man with a buzzcut, nodded and followed him into the mist.   
      “Take care, Rhia!” He yelled behind him as they disappeared. The rain made it very difficult to tell where everyone was. I could see two more Titans that were surrounded by Scouts. I watched one get eaten and I turned away.   
      “KYAAAAAAAAAAH!” A bandit ran out at me with a spear of his own. It was easy to disarm him. I sidestepped and cut his stomach open as he continued running past. His entrails fell to the wet ground and he followed soon after. Three more bandits came out of the mist and I ducked under a heavy kick before plunging my knife into his ribs. He screeched and I yanked it down and pulled it out. He gasped for air as I slit the throat of one of the other bandits and stabbed the final one in the neck. To put the man out of his misery, I stabbed his heart and straightened up. The fog had practically faded, leaving only an ethereal mist that was only ankle height. The Titans still hadn’t been killed and I saw Gred get stabbed through the back with a pike. The squad leader took care of that bandit quickly, however. _You could have saved Gred if you hadn’t stood there and watched._  
      “NO, NO, NO, NO!” I heard a terrible scream and looked up. Dana had been grabbed.   
      “DANA!” I screeched, deploying my 3DMG and flying up to her.   
      “RHIA, HELP, PLEASE, HE-” She was crunched down upon, her legs still twitching as they fell from the Titan’s mouth. _You weren’t fast enough_. Dana had always been terrified of Titans, yet still she tried to fight them. She still tried to kill them and save people, and yet she was dead and I was alive, a woman who fought bandits for my own pleasure and killed Titans when it suited me. Why was she the one being eaten alive and I the one still trying to save her? _You promised her that you’d keep her safe._ _You failed her._ I swung around the Titan and attacked the nape of the neck with my swords, slicing into it deeply. The Titan fell and I moved to the next one as the greedy fucker shoved two Scouts into its mouth and chewed on them.   
      “STOP EATING THEM!” I screamed and killed the next one with such fury that I blunted the blades. I replaced them quickly and moved to the next Titan and the next one. When I landed and all the Titans were on the floor, only the squad leader and a final bandit were standing. Everyone was lying on the ground, most of them with far less limbs than they should have had. The squad leader was stabbed in the neck and he choked on his blood.   
      “Such a shame…” I heard the bandit mutter and he dropped the corpse of the leader. _You could have saved him if you hadn’t gone on a Titan killing rampage._ I know… The bandit turned to me and my breath left me when I saw who it was.   
      “Oh… It’s you.” Mick was just as surprised to see me.   
      “You… bastard…” I growled. I thought I heard someone shout my name very faintly but I ignored it. The rain was easing off now.   
      “Rhia… It’s been… so long.” The fucker. “Did you miss me?”   
      “What do you think?” I unbuckled my 3DMG and dropped it, taking out my spear instead. This was personal.   
      “Oh but it was so fun… For me. You were screaming and writhing the whole time but I’ll always remember that sweet feeling of being inside you while you tried to escape…”   
      “RAAAAAAAAAAGH!” I roared and sprinted at him, my spear pulling back to be plunged into his chest. He knocked it away and pulled his knife out. My spear now too far for me to reach, I unsheathed my blade and tried to slash his neck. He dodged back and stabbed his knife into my left hand. I screamed and stumbled back, clutching my hand, his knife still embedded into it.   
      “You were always so weak!” Mick laughed, walking over slowly with my spear in his hands.   
      “Rhia!” I definitely heard it faintly but I paid no attention.   
      “I’M GOING TO KILL YOU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!” I wrenched the knife out of my hand and flung it at him as he laughed. It hit its mark - right in his crotch. He screeched and howled as he fell to the ground, his hands shaking and too scared to pull it out.   
      “RHIA!” I finally looked up. Erwin, Mike and Levi were riding up. They came to a stop. I looked frantically for Isabel and Farlan. They weren’t there. I noticed Erwin looking at the Titans primarily.   
      “Did you take these four Titans down?” I nodded. “You certainly are a strong soldier.”   
      “Thanks.” I said bluntly, approaching Mick.   
      “Rhia, stop!” Erwin urged me.   
      “Why!?” I shouted hysterically. “You promised me! You promised me that I could kill any bandits who I thought had to die!”   
      “Do you really want to kill this man?” Erwin asked after a long pause.   
      “Yes!” I growled.   
      “Why?”   
      “BECAUSE HE’S ONE OF THE BASTARDS WHO RAPED ME, THAT’S WHY!” I breathed heavily. “Please, Erwin, let me do this.” He was reluctant. My hand tightened around my knife and I ignored the pain in my left hand.   
      “Do what you must.” He at last decided.   
      “Erwin, is that wise?” Mike questioned.   
      “Let her do it.” Erwin said firmly. I nodded at him and turned to Mick, who was still on the floor. His hands were holding the handle but he was too scared to take the knife out.   
      “How on earth will you survive without your dick, huh?” I taunted. “You shithead. You had this coming.” I stabbed my own knife into his right knee, popping the cap off, and then did the same to his other knee. He writhed in agony, making terrible noises of pain. _Don’t kill him. Leave him to suffer in pain and let the Titans get him. Or he can die from blood loss. Either is painful enough_. Good idea. But he could still drag himself away and possibly live. How would I stop that from happening? _Cut the tendons in his ankles_. Morbid, but it would work. I crouched down and tugged his boots off, ignoring the smell.  
      “I’ve heard that the pain of having the tendons in your ankles severed is excruciating. Let’s put that to the test, shall we?” I slit the first one slowly and he roared. The second was quick because all the blood was making me a little dizzy. I grabbed my spear from beside him.   
      “I’m not going to kill you. If you move, you’ll kill yourself. If you stay where you are, you’ll kill yourself. Either way, it’s not really my fault.”   
      “P-please… Don’t…” He choked on some blood. I didn’t respond and I walked away, looking at Erwin.   
      “My horse was shot down.” I said, buckling my 3DMG back on.   
      “Ride with Levi.” He said. “I’m glad you didn’t kill him, Rhia.” I paused before nodding, walking over to Levi. He lowered a hand for me and I gripped it with my uninjured hand. He pulled me up behind him and I wrapped my arms around him. We set off and left the wailing Mick behind, Erwin explaining that we were looking for the Commander, or Keith to me.   
      “Levi…” I mumbled.   
      “Hmm?”   
      “Isabel and Farlan?” I was almost too afraid to ask. He didn’t speak for a moment.   
      “They didn’t make it.” _You lost them_. Oh god. _If you hadn’t have gotten yourself separated from them, this wouldn’t have happened. They’d still be alive._ How many people had I unintentionally killed today by my actions and stupidity? Isabel, Farlan, Dana, Gred, the squad leader who I didn’t even know the name of… I tightened my arms around him and tucked my face into Levi’s back. _You could have prevented their deaths. You could have saved them_. Please stop… We rode in silence and the sun shone over us. I still didn’t know what the mystery plan that Levi, Isabel and Farlan had was about, but Erwin was alive and that was important to me. Levi was alive too and that made me happy. But Isabel and Farlan… I was selfishly glad I didn’t see them die.

      We found the Supply team and spare horses but I didn’t move from Levi’s horse and he made no move to tell me to switch. I found myself missing Uno a little though. Riding on Rune was unfamiliar. Thinking about Uno made me think about Greyjoy more. _What do you think, Greyjoy? Have I made any good decisions today?_ The Commander soon joined us in the vanguard and we decided that, considering our losses, it was best to double back to the castle we had rested in the night before. We made it to the supply point and then returned to the castle. It was sunset, almost dusk, when we dismounted at the castle. I felt numb as we walked to the main hall, the place where Levi, Farlan and Isabel had met Hanji for the first time. Seeing our numbers in the huge room almost made me sick. There had been over fifty of us this morning. Now, there were less than half of that. To my dismay, Jayden was still alive.   
      “Of course, the wild bitch is still breathing.” He bit out, approaching. “Stupid bitch, you-”   
      “Don’t. Touch. Her.” Levi growled darkly. Despite his size, Levi could still be intimidating. Jayden stared at him with wide eyes as Levi tugged on my arm and led me past him.   
      “You didn’t have to do that.” I muttered. “I could have taken him.”   
      “Shut up.” He replied. “Let me bandage your hand.” I’d forgotten about my hand, if I’m honest. I noticed my blood had stained his travelling cloak and shirt from where I’d wrapped my arms around him while riding. I sat down with a heavy sigh.   
      “Not a great start for the new formation.” Levi hummed in agreement. We didn’t speak while Levi bandaged my hand.   
      “You should have made him suffer more.”   
      “What?” I frowned at him. His eyes were considerably more dead than they were before we set out. Any expression he used to have had been sapped out of them. I’d miss it.   
      “The bandit. You should have made him suffer more for what he did.” He sat back against the wall beside me when my hand had been bandaged.   
      “I’d have thought stabbing him in the cock with his knife, popping his kneecaps off and severing his ankle tendons would be good enough. What would you have done?”   
      “Tore his fingernails off. Stabbed needles into his eyes. Cut his tongue out.” It seemed we had a mutual interest; justice through pain.   
      “Maybe next time I’ll let you do that.” I muttered with a small shrug. “Either way, he’ll die alone and in pain. He only has Titans and corpses for company.”   
      “Rhia?” We both looked up. Krestian was standing in front of us, visibly shaken but uninjured.   
      “Krestian. You survived. That’s something at least.” I replied.   
      “Heh, yeah… I haven’t seen Dana or Harry…” I swallowed.   
      “Dana was eaten. I don’t know what’s happened to Harry.” Krestian looked like he was about to be sick.   
      “Right… Oh god… I didn’t think it would end up like this… Yesterday was such a success, we only lost three men…” He trembled.   
      “Expect the unexpected.” I stated.   
      “Yeah… A lot of people died today… Only one of my friends made it back…”   
      “Then you should get back to them.” Levi spoke up. “They’re likely just as traumatised as you.” Krestian and Levi watched each other for a moment before the former broke it, nodding.   
      “Yeah, you’re probably right. See ya, Rhia. We should chat more.” He looked at Levi again. “See ya, Levi.” And he walked off.   
      “That was such a smooth dismissal I almost didn’t expect him to notice it.” I noted, leaning my head back on the wall and looking at the ceiling. He hummed and we kept silent until food was handed around. I was given some bread but I wasn’t hungry.   
      “Eat.” Levi commanded. I looked at him and his uneaten bread.   
      “Don’t be a hypocrite, Levi, it’s not attractive.” I teased lightly, nibbling on it a little.   
      “Tch.” He huffed a chuckle and started eating his bread as well. Somehow, I managed to finish it. It was dark outside and people were setting out their beds.   
      “Our packs are still in the room we slept in last night.” I observed, standing up. “I’ll go and grab them.” He nodded and I went to retrieve the packs. It hurt to see Isabel’s and Farlan’s packs, untouched and now ownerless. I grabbed their packs as well and took them down.   
      “Are those…?” I nodded in response.   
      “I don’t know what they brought, but we shouldn’t leave their stuff here.”   
      “I’ll take Farlan’s pack.” Levi offered. “You can attach Isabel’s to your new horse.” I gave him his bundle and laid out the blanket from mine.   
      “It’s going to take me a while to get used to a new horse. I was quite fond of Uno.” I grumbled. We were told that lanterns had to be dimmed now. The lanterns were put in the middle so everything was dark but we could still see around us.   
      “What are you going to do now?” I muttered when everyone had settled down. Levi was huddled in the corner about a metre away from me as I lay on top of my blanket.   
      “I’m staying with the Survey Corps.” He informed me. “I’ll avenge Isabel and Farlan with every Titan I kill.”   
      “That sounds honourable.” I mumbled. He looked at me.   
      “What about you?”   
      “What do you mean?” I frowned.   
      “We’re outside. You could escape here easily if you wanted to. You could live out here again.” I hadn’t even thought about that. “You could go back to your forest and stargaze and hunt and survive.” Was he… bitter?   
      “To be honest, the thought hadn’t occurred to me.” I admitted. “I suppose I could though…”   
      “Have fun, then.” He was bitter. Did he want to leave as well? Or did he not want me to leave?   
      “I didn’t say I would.” I defended.   
      “You’re tempted to. You can leave us all behind and run away.” It seemed like the latter then… How strange…   
      “Do you want me to leave?” He blinked at me.   
      “What?”   
      “Do you want me to leave? No-one’s really going to miss me if I disappear tonight. Anyone who would died today. The rest will probably call me a traitor to the human race. They’ll say that I planned the Titan storm, that I’m a witch, and that I can’t be trusted. That’s if they don’t hush it up and pretend I never existed.” I mused. “So, do you want me to leave?” When he didn’t reply, I looked back at him. His eyes were wide as he stared at me.   
      “What?” I asked. He paused and then shook his head.   
      “It doesn’t matter.” He muttered and then stayed silent. He didn’t answer the question, so I took that as a ‘I wouldn’t care either way’. I sighed and looked up at the ceiling.   
      “Yeah… I guess it doesn’t.” I whispered and closed my eyes. “See you in the morning, Levi. Maybe.” Levi didn’t say anything and I fell asleep quickly. 

      It wasn’t long, however, before bad dreams kicked in. In the dream, Mick returned the favour and did to me what I did to him. He left me out to die and on my right, I could see Isabel’s severed head, and on my left was Farlan, only a torso. Levi had stood over me and said nothing as I pleaded with him. I woke up out of breath and I clutched my heart. It was beating hard and fast and I inhaled deeply to try and settle it. After I calmed down a little, I turned to look at Levi. He was fast asleep, leaning against wall. He was peaceful in a way that I’d never seen. The dream had woken me up to the point where I was no longer tired. I sighed and sat up, leaning my back against the wall. I sat in silence for maybe a minute when Levi made a noise. I frowned and looked at him. He was twitching and grunting, his face now in a frown. _Bad dream_. He was moving now, his leg suddenly kicking out. _Wake him up_. As I got up to wake him up, he hit his head hard and bashed his fists against the wall, making desperate noises. I crawled over quickly, shaking him.   
      “Levi, wake up!” I whispered. He hit his head again and I held his face in my hands.   
      “Levi!” His eyes sprang open, not focusing on me, and he gasped for breath, panicking and his hands latching onto my shoulders. “Ssh…” I shushed him as he calmed down slowly. He scrunched his eyes up and sighed.   
      “Fuck…” He muttered. “Did… Did I wake you up?” I shook my head.   
      “No, I was already up. I had a nightmare too, it’s fine.” His hands were still clutching my shoulders, my shirt sleeves bunching up in his fists. “You okay now?”   
      “... Yes.” He avoided looking at me, his hands slowly falling from my shoulders. Levi sat back against the wall and hung his head. I laid a hand on his shoulder.   
      “Do you fancy going for a walk?” He looked up at me after a moment.   
      “Sure.” I stood and helped him up. Everyone else was asleep and we walked out of the hall and up the stairs. We didn’t speak at all until we found a steep staircase that led up the tower.   
      “Shall we go upstairs?” I asked.   
      “Sure.” He said again and we headed up. We had to climb a ladder up to the hatch that led to the tower, as it was a simple lookout tower with no roof. I went up first and pushed on the door, crawling up after checking there was no-one else up there. Levi followed soon after and shut the hatch. We sat with our legs dangling off the edge. There was no wall on the tower so we could lean back and relax.   
      “It’s so quiet.” Levi observed. I hummed in agreement.   
      “Mm, it’s calming. I’ve witnessed it drive people crazy though. Scouts who never make it back to their squad get lost and can’t take the silence.” I said.   
      “Cheerful.” I laughed sheepishly.   
      “Yeah, sorry…” I looked up at the starry sky. The clouds had passed from the storm, leaving the sky completely clear.   
      “We should have come up here last night.” Levi said. I sighed.   
      “Yeah, should’ve thought of that.” My hand started to sting and I hissed, raising it to my face. “This shit hurts… I don’t recommend getting stabbed in the hand.” Levi huffed a chuckle.   
      “I’ll remember that. But you were lucky. It missed bones and veins.”   
      “Well, that’s something, I suppose.” I flexed my hand and hissed in pain again. “Fuck…”   
      “Here.” I looked at Levi. He was holding his gloves out to me. I blinked at them.   
      “What?” He rolled his eyes and held them out further.   
      “Take them.” Tentatively, I took them from him. “They’ll give your hands some extra warmth and protection. I’d recommend wearing them most of the time, particularly during training.”   
      “Wait, what? Are you giving them to me as... a gift?” Again, he rolled his eyes.   
      “Yes. Keep them.” I looked down at them. They were a dark brown with thick leather pads on the top of the hand and holes on the knuckles. Having been punched in the face by these multiple times during training, I knew it hurt.   
      “I’ve never… been given something before.” I mumbled.   
      “Well, there’s a first time for everything.” Indeed there was. Slowly, I pulled them on. They were still warm from his own hands and he watched me flex my hands.   
      “Wow… Thank you...” I smiled softly. I had to give him something in return. Anything. _Your cravat_. Dad had given it to me when I turned eight when I said that I wanted to dress smartly. But I could let it go. I untied it and handed it to him.   
      “Take this.” He blinked at it.   
      “What?”   
      “Take it. It’s a gift.” Hesitantly, he took it from me and gazed at it. “It doesn’t really… do anything, not like the gloves… But it’s sort of sentimental. You’ll look smart anyway.” _Thanks, Dad_.   
      “How do I put it on?” He was accepting it! It made me smile and I didn’t bother to hide it.   
      “Here.” I took the cravat from his hands and overturned his collar. “Like this. Cross it over, tuck it under and pull it over.” I tied it under his collar and he watched my hands as I tightened it a little. “There.” I pushed his collar back down and sat back. “It looks good.” He ran his hand over it and for a moment, I saw a genuine smile. It looked odd on his usually expressionless face but it was still nice.  _More like amazing._ Shut up, please...   
      “Thank you.” I smiled at him.   
      “No worries. You don’t have to wear it every day but it’s just something you might like. I don’t know.” I shrugged and looked back at the sky. After a silence of a few minutes, Levi spoke.   
      “Don’t leave.”   
      “Hm?”   
      “In answer to your question earlier. I… don’t… want you to leave. So don’t.” My cheeks were pink but I smiled at him anyway.   
      “Then I won’t. Looks like you’re stuck with me. You’ll regret saying that.”   
      “Tch, we’ll see.” I pulled my jacket off and bundled it up. I put it behind me and laid back on it, looking directly up at the stars. A few seconds later, Levi did the same. Having lost Isabel and Farlan, it was difficult to really think about everything that had happened today. The pain was still aching in my heart and I knew it would take a long time to get used to it. Losing people always left an ache, but eventually, it dulled. Eventually, I would be able to feel happy when I thought about them. For now, Levi and I would stick together and help each other through the loss. And that was enough for me. 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that was my prologue story! I know throughout the OVA manga, Levi doesn't wear gloves and he wears the cravat but the whole gift thing was just something I wanted to add in to show an exchange of trust, if you will. I'm not going to be doing anything huge that alters plot, and if I do anything that changes some things, I'll make sure it's small and give you all the heads up. I hope you enjoyed this and found it as emotionally destroying as I did! Thank you so much if you stuck through the story and read it all the way through, please comment anything that you want to say, whether it's praise, constructive criticism or just an observation! See you all (if anyone reads this) in the next story!


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